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Jewish Weddings

The rings?

Hi All, 

I just got engaged last month, and I've been lurking on the boards for a bit, added replies to other threads, but this is my first time asking for advice. 

When my (now) fiance asked my parents permission to marry me, my mom gave him her mother's engagement ring that my grandfather used to propose to my grandmother in 1939. She also showed my fiance their wedding bands. The story goes that my grandfather found/bought the metal, had it melted down, and designed the rings himself. Despite being almost 75 years old, all 3 pieces of jewelry are very modern and very much my and my fiance's style, not to mention that we love the family "history" about them.  (I've attached a picture to this post.)

My mother is pretty sure that these rings were the ones used during the (Conservative) ceremony. However, everything I've been reading recently says that the rings used must be solid metal with no adornment. 

This is where my question comes in: is this "rule" an absolute MUST? would we be able to use these rings? Our ceremony is probably going to be closer to a Conservative level than Reform (I grew up Reform, he grew up Conservative but has lots of Orthodox family members, so we're making it a bit more religious to honor/please the older generation.) I've read that the ring must have special meaning to the bride/groom, and these would definitely qualify that requirement, but since they're not solid bands, would most rabbis not allow them to be used?

(Money is not an issue; we have the money to buy new bands, but we both happen to love my grandparent's set, and using them does let us allocate the money we had put aside for the rings to be used elsewhere.) 
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Re: The rings?

  • sorry, here is the picture of my grandparents' wedding bands
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • it really depends on your rabbi. our rabbi told us that groom must pay for the ring.  and yes must be solid, no stones.
    we actually will have separate solid ring for ceremony and the one I will actually wear :)

  • Our Conservative officiant was ok with engraving on the inside of our solid bands.  DH wears the ring that his mom gave his dad in their wedding ceremony, so it already had been engraved with their initials.  I would just ask your officiant.  I have definitely heard of people having separate bands for the ceremony and for everyday wear, so you could certainly do that if your officiant doesn't want you to use the bands for the ceremony.  

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