Wedding Pet Peeves

psychbabe314

I am a bit bored, so...
Pet peeves? Things that you find to be distasteful? What pushes your buttons when you go to a wedding that you walk away going "never at my own"?

Distasteful: make-up session with tongue when they say you may now kiss the bride. We can all see that :-P

soontobehanby

I don't like foot washings, which are really popular in my circle. I get the meaning behind it and that it can be important to the couple, but they take sooooo long and the people who have done it tend to do it a little showy. "How good of Christians are we?! We took time out of our wedding to wash feet!!" It's up there with the couple performing a worship service at their wedding. I am a Christian and all for worship but it just seems SO showy at a wedding.

psychbabe314

@soontobehanby The foot washing is really weird! I had never even heard of something like that... I do not particularly like feet... so... ya... would not do that! :-P What is the point behind it? Besides the showy effect you get?

soontobehanby

It is a symbolic service. In the bible, Jesus washed the feet of his disciples, which was something only servants did. So now it's done as a symbol of service to someone. So husband washes hi wife's feet, represents him serving her and vice versa.

psychbabe314

Interesting, I was just talking with my roommate and we had wondered if it was about Jesus washing the feet of his disciples. Thanks!

soontobehanby

I've always understood it to be a private thing. You don't boast your servant hood. So I am just bothered by them at weddings.

psychbabe314

That makes sense :-)

WinstonsGirl

"Typical" wedding jokes, such as pulling out granny panties during the garter search or similar.  It's cute the first time but they get old very fast wedding after wedding.  

Games/ideas that are too hard to get the couple to kiss.  I don't mind not clinking glasses, but make the couple kiss every once in a while.  One wedding, you had to tell a story about them to the room.  1 person went up all night.  The bride was actually pretty disappointed.  Another, you had to putt a hole in 1 on a little green.  1 person got it and then the club disappeared so the kids wouldn't hit things with it.  The game ended after that.  

I'm sure there's more that others will bring up 

MairePoppy

Speeches that are more like roasts. I don't want to hear 5 speeches, filled with inside jokes that only the couple and their friends get. It's rude. Do it at the BP or RD, among your closest friends and relatives who know what the hell you're talking about. Two short toasts are polite.

Starting the wedding ceremony late. If your more than 15 minutes late for the ceremony, you're inconsiderate. Don't say 'I'm the bride, they have to wait for me,' within my earshot. It's not clever or funny.

The gap between the ceremony and the reception. I don't care if you're Catholic and your church wouldn't allow a ceremony later than 2pm and you've always dreamed of an evening, candle lit reception. Do what brides in my family have always done. Ceremony at 2, cocktails at 3:30, dinner at 4:30 - 5. Your guests have been dressing/driving to your wedding since 11am or so. They will be hungy by late afternoon.

psychbabe314

I do remember a wedding where the brides sister and the grooms best man were supposed to do a toast. They did, and then every single groomsmen decided to "just throw one out there" for the groom. It lasted forever! Seriously... We were starving and they kept going on. Badly done/organized toasts would probably make the list then!

itzMS

I've always disliked brides so set on an outdoor ceremony that they never take into account the comfort of the guests, or the importance of a reliable sound system

Nothing beats sitting outside on a 50 degree windy day and not even being able to hear the ceremony. Ugghh.

psychbabe314

itzMS said:

I've always disliked brides so set on an outdoor ceremony that they never take into account the comfort of the guests, or the importance of a reliable sound system

Nothing beats sitting outside on a 50 degree windy day and not even being able to hear the ceremony. Ugghh.

Oooh, never had to deal with this one before, but that does not seem very fun. I do not like windy days :-)

KeptInStitches

Auctioning off the garter. Gals' pledges pushed it up her leg, guys' pledges pushed it down. That was actually the point where I left the reception.

PrettyGirlLost

Wedding vow wording where the woman has to submit to her husband, yadda yadda.  I get that it's a religious thing, and I respect that, but it personally makes me cringe.

I agree with a PP about too much tongue during The Kiss.  I always think of that scene in The Wedding Singer where they discuss wedding tongue vs porno tongue, lol.

Receiving lines with the entire bridal party and a bunch of the bride's and groom's relatives, Gaps, roast style toasts, 5 million toasts, and dry receptions.  I know dry receptions are fine etiquette wise, we don't need to drink to have fun. . . I just don't enjoy them as much.

psychbabe314

@PrettyGirlLost, I now suddenly want to watch The Wedding Singer. I might have to rent it tonight :-)

@KeptInStitches, Why would anyone want to prolong such an embarrasing event! Jeez, I would have walked out too!

Swazzle

When the groom REALLY goes up the bride's dress to get the garter. My brother did this. His head and everything were under my SIL's dress and he really took his time under there. It was SO fucking awkward and uncomfortable. 

Bugs at an outdoor wedding. My cousin's ceremony and cocktail hour were outside in September last year. There were stinkbugs and bees EVERYWHERE. It took everything I had to stay calm and not scream bloody murder. 

erinlin25

when the bride or groom is wasted before even walking down the aisle.  And even at the reception when they are too drunk it is just awkward.  I'm all for having a good time and enjoying yourself, but when you cannot remember your wedding day that's pretty unclassy.  My MIL was telling me about a wedding she went to for one of her workers and the bride did not even make it into the reception. WOW.

ElcaB

When brides wear badly altered or ill-fitting gowns. A friend of mine (who has a great body) was squeezed into her dress so tight, the very little back fat she had squished together. It looked like she had an ass on her back. (*shudder*)

Also, running out of booze. Thou shalt NEVER run out of booze! If you're going to serve it, get enough to keep it flowing! 

itzMS

ElcaB said:

When brides wear badly altered or ill-fitting gowns. A friend of mine (who has a great body) was squeezed into her dress so tight, the very little back fat she had squished together. It looked like she had an ass on her back. (*shudder*)

Also, running out of booze. Thou shalt NEVER run out of booze! If you're going to serve it, get enough to keep it flowing! 

Good one!

I saw wedding pictures of an otherwise slender, pretty bride who had fat wings lapping of over the top of her dress because it was wayyyy to tight. Her skin was red in the pics. Why would anyone do that to themselves?

Simply Fated

Overdone jokes, like pulling a plastic ball and chain from under the bride's dress during the garter toss. It's not funny. We've all seen it. It was awkward the first time and hasn't been funny ever.
Or doing a fake, choreographed first dance. It can only be surprising if we've never seen it before. We've all seen it before.

It's like the first time you see a cool magic trick. Kinda cool and maybe funny the first time, but anytime after that first time doesn't have the same reaction, especially if you know the trick.

psychbabe314

@Simply Fated I have heard that people find a choreographed first dance to be lame, but I'm honestly torn on it. I think it is cute that a couple put so much time and effort into a first dance but I can understand how boring it can be from the sidelines. I have not been to a wedding with one yet, so I can't speak from personal experience though :-)

Dreamergirl8812

This is boring, but cash bars. I don't think there's anything worse.

If you want flowers at your wedding, pay for them.
If you want to serve chicken, pay for it.
If you want a pretty venue, pay for it.
If you want to serve booze, pay for it.

It's not rocket science.

APDSS22

Cold food.  There is literally nothing worse you could do to me as a guest at your wedding than serve me disgusting, cold food.

blueobsidian

MairePoppy said:

Speeches that are more like roasts. I don't want to hear 5 speeches, filled with inside jokes that only the couple and their friends get. It's rude. Do it at the BP or RD, among your closest friends and relatives who know what the hell you're talking about. Two short toasts are polite.

Starting the wedding ceremony late. If your more than 15 minutes late for the ceremony, you're inconsiderate. Don't say 'I'm the bride, they have to wait for me,' within my earshot. It's not clever or funny.

The gap between the ceremony and the reception. I don't care if you're Catholic and your church wouldn't allow a ceremony later than 2pm and you've always dreamed of an evening, candle lit reception. Do what brides in my family have always done. Ceremony at 2, cocktails at 3:30, dinner at 4:30 - 5. Your guests have been dressing/driving to your wedding since 11am or so. They will be hungy by late afternoon.

These are my two biggest pet peeves.  I hate when people waste my time.  I always try to get to events at least 15 minutes early (sometimes 30 if I'm unfamiliar with the venue or area), so if a wedding gets started late I have probably been waiting for a long time.

Another peeve is lengthy photo shoots for family and the wedding party.  Do you really need to spend two to three hours taking posed pictures?  Also, not having anything for your wedding party to eat if you have them come early for pictures and getting ready is really obnoxious and a good way to end up with cranky friends.  

I was in one wedding where we got to the beach venue two hours early for pictures, but then the bride was over an hour late so we ended up staying nearly two hours after the ceremony to take them.  Basically, by the time we were done, we had been on the beach in the sun for more than five hours without anything to eat.  It was only once pics were done that they brought out sodas and sandwiches.  I was pretty cranky that they hadn't passed those out earlier.

It was the only time I was grateful for a gap, so I could take myself to In-N-Out Burger for something to eat (and to check out my sunburn in the bathroom mirror).

Simply Fated

psychbabe314 said:

@Simply Fated I have heard that people find a choreographed first dance to be lame, but I'm honestly torn on it. I think it is cute that a couple put so much time and effort into a first dance but I can understand how boring it can be from the sidelines. I have not been to a wedding with one yet, so I can't speak from personal experience though :-)

They aren't boring so much as cringeworthy, awkward and not funny. The humor is based on the surprise element, but how surprising can it be if you've seen it before, even if not in person.

GypsyWife_

Cheesy deejays , fake flowers, sloppy kisses,.

MuppetOverlord

Um, pot luck wedding, when I have to pay for soft drinks, starting the wedding an hour late, the bride singing her own processional, serving grape juice to guests and sparkling wine for the wedding party, separating spouses from the bridal party for seating, dollar dance, distasteful/disgusting garter removal,  5 minutes dedicated (unsuccessfully) to try to find someone who will try to catch the garter, unattended children who put their hands in the cake that wasn't served until the wedding was over, entitled couples.... did this all happen at the last wedding I went to? Yes.

Simply Fated

MuppetOverlord said:

Um, pot luck wedding, when I have to pay for soft drinks, starting the wedding an hour late, the bride singing her own processional, serving grape juice to guests and sparkling wine for the wedding party, separating spouses from the bridal party for seating, dollar dance, distasteful/disgusting garter removal,  5 minutes dedicated (unsuccessfully) to try to find someone who will try to catch the garter, unattended children who put their hands in the cake that wasn't served until the wedding was over, entitled couples.... did this all happen at the last wedding I went to? Yes.

omg I just remembered... do you still have those pics hanging around? I never got to see them

psychbabe314

Wow! This list is growing! Some of these seem like no brainers, but apparently not!

SugarLoafButterCup

My absolute biggest pet peeve is being asked to perform at a wedding "as a friend."  No.  Performing is my JOB.  I don't want to WORK at your wedding, especially for free.  I want to sit down and enjoy your wedding, as your friend.  If I'm working, I'm not enjoying it, I'm worrying about doing my job well. 

Having a bridal shower AND a lingerie shower.  Greedy much?

Not being allowed to bring a guest, and then being seated at a reception table where I don't know anyone.  Especially when there are guests at other tables that I DO know.  I always feel like a dick for getting up and moving and ruining Bridey McBride's seating chart that I'm sure she agonized over for hours.

Also, this is just my personal opinion, but I think both the garter and bouquet toss are horrible.  Garter toss is always super awkward, and a bunch of drunk single ladies grabbing for flowers strikes me as tacky.

Ven&Radio

I hate having the cocktail hour in the same space as dinner.  You end up sitting at your table talking to the same bunch of people for an extra hour.  Cocktail hour is for mingling!

I also find the bouquet and garter tosses to be tacky.  We're giving the bouquet to FI's grandmother (it will be her anniversary) and there will be no garter.

Silk flowers are tacky.  Paper flowers can be awesome.

I hate centerpiece giveaways.  The games tend to be embarassing and I probably don't want it anyway.  We're donating our flowers to a nursing home.