Invitations - High School Friends (+1?)

LManning247

I am inviting a group of girlfriends from high school (about 6 of them). Only one of them has a serious boyfriend (steady for about 1 year). We are all about 24-24 years of age. Should I give them all an option for a guest for the wedding? I am confused on what the proper thing to do is.

melbelleup

I would. You have to at least invite the serious boyfriend. But they're over the age of 18... therefore they get a guest.

photokitty

If I were your friend I'd rather sit at one table all together than have dates and get split up. This is not an etiquette response, just my thought process of who'd I want to spend time with at the wedding and not being at a table with only half my friends and random people they brought with them...

southernbelle0915

melbelleup said:

I would. You have to at least invite the serious boyfriend. But they're over the age of 18... therefore they get a guest.

I disagree with the bolded. Being over 18 doesn't mean you get a guest. 

You do need to invite any SOs, but plus ones for truly single guests are at your discretion. It's very nice if you can afford it and you have the space, but not necessary if you don't.

itzMS

I agree that it is incredibly nice to give even the truly single a plus one.

But even if one of your friends is just "seeing someone" you must invite him, by name. It's not up to you to determine how "serious" they are.

Call your friend up. "Hey, Sally, I'm working on my guest list for the weddding, and I'd like to include your date's name if you're seeing someone"

libby2483

melbelleup said:

I would. You have to at least invite the serious boyfriend. But they're over the age of 18... therefore they get a guest.

This is incorrect.  Etiquette dictates that anyone in a relationship, no matter how serious, is invited with their SO.  However, giving plus ones to truly single guests is optional.

heidirs731

itzMS said:

I agree that it is incredibly nice to give even the truly single a plus one.

But even if one of your friends is just "seeing someone" you must invite him, by name. It's not up to you to determine how "serious" they are.

Call your friend up. "Hey, Sally, I'm working on my guest list for the wedding, and I'd like to include your date's name if you're seeing someone"

I and other friends who have been in relationships have gotten plenty of "plus one" invites for our boyfriends/girlfriends. I agree married couples should be by name, but this seems a bit excessive.

MyNameIsNot

heidirs731 said:

itzMS said:

I agree that it is incredibly nice to give even the truly single a plus one.

But even if one of your friends is just "seeing someone" you must invite him, by name. It's not up to you to determine how "serious" they are.

Call your friend up. "Hey, Sally, I'm working on my guest list for the wedding, and I'd like to include your date's name if you're seeing someone"

I and other friends who have been in relationships have gotten plenty of "plus one" invites for our boyfriends/girlfriends. I agree married couples should be by name, but this seems a bit excessive.

No, this is common manners.  It is known that referring to an existing significant other as "and guest" is meant to be a dig at the s/o or at the relationship.  

heidirs731

MyNameIsNot said:

heidirs731 said:

itzMS said:

I agree that it is incredibly nice to give even the truly single a plus one.

But even if one of your friends is just "seeing someone" you must invite him, by name. It's not up to you to determine how "serious" they are.

Call your friend up. "Hey, Sally, I'm working on my guest list for the wedding, and I'd like to include your date's name if you're seeing someone"

I and other friends who have been in relationships have gotten plenty of "plus one" invites for our boyfriends/girlfriends. I agree married couples should be by name, but this seems a bit excessive.

No, this is common manners.  It is known that referring to an existing significant other as "and guest" is meant to be a dig at the s/o or at the relationship.  

I have never had that problem nor have I heard anyone get upset at such a thing. I don't think it's widely believed to be an insult, at least not in my family or circle of friends.

Jen4948

heidirs731 said:

MyNameIsNot said:

heidirs731 said:

itzMS said:

I agree that it is incredibly nice to give even the truly single a plus one.

But even if one of your friends is just "seeing someone" you must invite him, by name. It's not up to you to determine how "serious" they are.

Call your friend up. "Hey, Sally, I'm working on my guest list for the wedding, and I'd like to include your date's name if you're seeing someone"

I and other friends who have been in relationships have gotten plenty of "plus one" invites for our boyfriends/girlfriends. I agree married couples should be by name, but this seems a bit excessive.

No, this is common manners.  It is known that referring to an existing significant other as "and guest" is meant to be a dig at the s/o or at the relationship.  

I have never had that problem nor have I heard anyone get upset at such a thing. I don't think it's widely believed to be an insult, at least not in my family or circle of friends.

The fact that you haven't had a problem with it neither means that your family or circle of friends or anyone else hasn't.  If you don't want people to have a problem with it or get upset, then don't do it!  It violates etiquette, and there is no excuse for that.

Samanthaveltri

If you have the budget and and space to give all of your single friends a plus one to fill in then great but if not I like the rule of thumb when inviting a guest: if they are dating someone that you can address the invite to then invite them both by name.

If you intend on writing "+1" to me that indicates that the person isn't currently dating anyone (because you don't know their name) and you are willing to give them a free guest pass for a random date or even a friend.

Also when you write in a name, "Sally and Jim", if they break up in the interim that means that Sally can't just fill in the guest with a friend or random new date.

ashleyep

heidirs731 said:

MyNameIsNot said:

heidirs731 said:

itzMS said:

I agree that it is incredibly nice to give even the truly single a plus one.

But even if one of your friends is just "seeing someone" you must invite him, by name. It's not up to you to determine how "serious" they are.

Call your friend up. "Hey, Sally, I'm working on my guest list for the wedding, and I'd like to include your date's name if you're seeing someone"

I and other friends who have been in relationships have gotten plenty of "plus one" invites for our boyfriends/girlfriends. I agree married couples should be by name, but this seems a bit excessive.

No, this is common manners.  It is known that referring to an existing significant other as "and guest" is meant to be a dig at the s/o or at the relationship.  

I have never had that problem nor have I heard anyone get upset at such a thing. I don't think it's widely believed to be an insult, at least not in my family or circle of friends.

I was upset when my then-boyfriend of 4 years (now fiance) was addressed as "and guest" on the invitation to my cousin's wedding. She had known him for years and probably saw him half a dozen times a year at family events. She knew I'd be bringing him and I thought it was ridiculous for her to not put his name down. It wouldn't have taken much more effort.

Would I be upset if my boyfriend of 3 months wasn't addressed by name? No, but it was certainly a nice gesture when my name was on an invitation he received when we had only been together a few months.

ashleyep

In regards to the original question, if most of the girls are truly single I think it's fine to invite them without dates (unless they have SO's). But if most of them are dating someone and just one girl is single, it would be nice to extend a +1 to her.

[Deleted User]

For your friend that is in a relationship you should invite +1. I personally wouldn't include his name on the invite unless they are living together. You can put his name on the escort card if you doing those, that would be nice. For your friends that are single, if your budget allows for you to do a +1 for them, great, if not, don't worry about it.

My budget didn't really allow for everyong to get a +1. My friends at the time were single, not dating at all. So I opted to just invited them and put them all together at a table (it's a group of friends we hang out with regularly). They enjoyed being able to sit together with people that they knew and felt comfortable talking to. I used the logic, will this single person know other people at the wedding? Yes, no +1, No they get +1 so that they would have someone they would feel comfortable talking to.

[Deleted User]

Out of the five high school friends I'm inviting only two have SOs. I budgeted for them to have their own table anyway so if any of the other three happen to get SOs before the wedding I'll add them in.