I chose one of my friends to be a bridesmaid; she is fun, vibrant, silly-in-a-good-way, energetic, and lovable. All that being said, she can also be a little overwhelming and controlling. She completely took charge of planning my bridal shower, which is awesome, it was beautiful. She has been through some tough things over the last couple months though and all of that personal stress plus being in a wedding has really affected her behavior. She has been demanding, rude, and very negative lately. I have heard from other bridesmaids that she spoke negatively about me after the bridal shower and was griping because she didn't feel like the other bridesmaids were helping enough. I've gone out of my way to show her how much I appreciate everything she did and I even helped make some of the decorations for the shower. Even though this is hurtful I'm trying to keep in mind that she is struggling right now and even though I didn't put the responsibility of planning the shower on her shoulders, I'm trying to be patient with her. My wedding is heavily DIY just because I like to make things and I wanted to put a personal touch on the wedding but I haven't asked any of the bridesmaids to do anything because I don't like to burden people. So I don't feel responsible for her stress but I feel worried that she is going to steam roll me...lol. She has already announced that she is taking the day off before my wedding and I'm not sure why that's necessary unless she just wants her own time to get a manicure or something, that's the only explanation I can come up with. I'm worried that she is going to want to spend that whole day with me and the entire wedding day. The wedding doesn't start until 5:30 and everyone is kind of doing their own thing as far as hair and make up goes so there's really no reason for any of the wedding party to gather together until pre-wedding pictures. I am more of a reserved and quiet-seeking person by nature and I would like to spend the day before the wedding and the morning of the wedding with my mom and sister, just relaxing and taking some "me-time." Because she has been so erratic lately, I'm wondering how to set this boundary with her and avoid being overwhelmed by her without hurting her feelings or making her angry. Any advice would really be appreciated, I don't want to spring it on her at the last minute.