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Wedding Etiquette Forum

I wish I could make this up... but it's just too much!

Background: H and I received a wedding invite for his friend's wedding (the groom).  We received it 1 day prior to the RSVP date on the invite, in April.  My first reaction, we're B listed.  Why else get an invite 1 day before the rsvp date?  But the RSVP date was 4 months before the actual wedding, which just took place this month!  Invite shows their wedding website for more info... Quote from the website "please don't come early or stay too late, it's a public place" (a beach), and "ladies, don't wear black, it's a celebration, not a funeral".  My first reaction (after the thoughts there is no way I'm going to this) is find the best black dress I can!!  My husband sees nothing wrong with any of this yet.  He's determined we are going.  I play happy wife, buy a non black dress, and book time off work.

Now our fault: we heard the wedding was on Saturday, and a couple weeks before the wedding, realized it was a Sunday afternoon/evening.  Both my H and I worked Monday morning, and the wedding was 6 hours away. We had to pull out unexpectedly, and let the wedding couple know right away.

Hung out with friends after the wedding, and here's the best parts...  the wedding couple invited another couple immediately after we turned down our invite (giving them less than 2 weeks notice), to take our place, and told that couple that.  Then the day of the wedding, our friends got there and the groom asked why they were there?  Really, it's your wedding!  Groom says "Oops, you got the wrong invite, you are supposed to be at the ceremony that starts an hour later".  The first and real ceremony was just for family, and due to a park permit (an open outdoor beach), they couldn't allow all guests to be in one spot at the same time.  So they scheduled a second ceremony for friends.  Apparently the second ceremony was a joke, everyone knew by then it was fake.  And no seats for anyone at the ceremony.  The reception venue accompanied all guests, and had unlimited free wine, but the rest was cash bar. 

The maddening thing, my husband doesn't get why any of this is very rude and disrespectful!  I'm just happy we goofed on the date, and couldn't make it afterall!!!  But did I ever want to wear a black dress!!
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Re: I wish I could make this up... but it's just too much!

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