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Marriage & Wedding?

wesjess11wesjess11
in Chit Chat
My fiancé and I got married at the courthouse. We did not have a justice of the peace or receite vows. We went in, sat down, and filled out paper work. We signed our names and voila we're legally married. I changed my last name and all the goes with it. That was a year ago and we never had a wedding ceremony or reception. I'm now planning the ceremony/reception, but have no idea on how to word invitations. Any help?
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Re: Marriage & Wedding?

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    grumbledoregrumbledore member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    What PPs already said.  You are married already.  You can't have a wedding ceremony since you are already married.  Congratulations!

    Have an anniversary party.

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    arrippaarrippa member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited August 2013

    You are already married, I wouldn't call him fiance since he is your husband. Just have a nice party to celebrate your anniversary.

     

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    SBminiSBmini member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Wow, tough crowd in here, eh? Way to attack without offering any sort of advice for a best way forward.

    The phrasing you are looking for is "Vow Renewal" that is officially what your celebration is. 
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    KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    And, IMHO, exactly zero of those quotes are attacks on OP.
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    button6004button6004 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    SBmini said:

    Wow, tough crowd in here, eh? Way to attack without offering any sort of advice for a best way forward.


    The phrasing you are looking for is "Vow Renewal" that is officially what your celebration is. 
    No one attacked the OP.

    OP, you have a husband, not a fiancé. Congrats on your marriage.

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    JoanE2012JoanE2012 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    SBmini said:
    Wow, tough crowd in here, eh? Way to attack without offering any sort of advice for a best way forward.

    The phrasing you are looking for is "Vow Renewal" that is officially what your celebration is. 
    Several people did offer advice.  Did you even read the posts?
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    TiaTeaTiaTea member
    First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Why are people stuck on  "My fiancé and I got married" part?
    So she married her fiance. What's so bad about it? She did not marry her best friend's fiance,  she did not marry  her fiance's cousin, she did not marry a random stranger, while her fiance was overseas.
    "My then fiance and I got married" ? Is it better?
    Do you usually correct people who say "My fiance and I broke up"  or "My boyfriend and I broke up"?
    Just curious.

    @wesjess11 : It's been a year ago. Think of it as ... giving a birth, for example.  Since  you are in a hospital while giving birth, it's perfectly normal to celebrate the birth of your child when you go home, or a few days later, when you feel better. But if you celebrate a year later , it's not the birth of your child you celebrate. It's the child's birthday .  Those cigars ( are they still a thing?) if your husband is giving them to friends a few days after the birth, when he actually sees the friends,  is one thing , but a year or so later would be strange.

    You are married, you are living the married life.  Your friends and family know it, and  are used to it by now. Even if they were excited, they are over it by now.
    Just think of someone throwing a party to celebrate Obama's election : he's been president for 5 years already, everybody knows it and people are used to it .

    Just have an awesome anniversary party. And use any wording suitable for your style of party: formal , casual, whaterver you choose.
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    KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Well, if it's already been a year ... he's definitely not her FI anymore, he's her husband. That's why people are hung up on it.

    OP, have a kick-ass party to celebrate your marriage, but since you're already married, you can't have a wedding. That ship has sailed, but there's no reason you can't have an awesome evening of dinner and dancing if you so choose. Just avoid anything wedding-y.
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    ElcaBElcaB member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    24 Things Single People Are Tired Of Hearing
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    KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    @LaniKaiPhotography, you wouldn't find it weird - as a family member, not as a vendor - if you got invited to a baby shower a year after the kid was born? How's a wedding different? Plus it's kind of offensive to people who had JOP weddings to suggest that they're not real.
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    SKPMSKPM member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer Name Dropper
    If you wanted a ceremony and reception with friends present, why did you "go in, sit down, and fill out the paperwork"? Obviously you know that you are married, or else there wouldn't have been any point in your trip to the courthouse. Do your friends and family know that you're married? (I would assume so, based on the name change, but I would also assume that a married woman wouldn't be hung up on having a fake wedding a year later, so there's that.)

    photo fancy-as-fuck.jpg
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    WinstonsGirlWinstonsGirl member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    LaniKaiPhotography said:
    Please please please do not listen to these post saying you're already married so you can't have a wedding, that's B.S. Yes, according to the State you are husband and wife but not according to you. You stated you shared no vows and had no justice of the peace, so I feel if you can afford it, go do it. Marriage is a very personal thing because it is a bond between you and your husband, everyone else is just a spectator and should stay just that. This is your commitment, your vows, your husband, your money, therefore your rules.

    Example: I shot a wedding where after the ceremony the bride and groom ducked around a corner until the rest of the party was ready. They were in earshot of my second shooter and I caught them kiss candidly. My shooter told me the groom said "guess what babe, we're married!" and then they kissed. When I sent them that picture I sent an email with it saying "this kiss was the first kiss when nobody told you you were married, you declared yourself married." Even though they shared their kiss at the altar the Bride immediately posted that picture to facebook under the title "Our real first kiss". 

    Now as far as the invitations, if you want to honor the court wedding you can word it something like "Join us for the exchanging of vows..." "Join us for a celebration of marriage..." or "Join is for a ceremony of marriage." Yes people are going to call asking what's going on, just explain to them (you can do it in the invite too) how much exchanging vows means to you and how you dreamed of the beautiful ceremony, anyone who loves you and want to see you happy will understand and support your ceremony. I hope this helps and congratulations on your marriage!
    According to me, I'm Queen Bee of the World.  It's official cos I've declared myself so under my rules.  Who wants to come to my party??  You've also just said they're married, contradicting you argument

    OP, have an amazing anniversary party.  Just please don't reenact your wedding as you will look silly.  Congratulations on your wedding.  

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    WinstonsGirlWinstonsGirl member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    But kmmssg, the photographer said that it's my rules so I get to be Queen Bee!!  ;)  

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    MayDay513MayDay513 member
    First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary
    LaniKaiPhotography said:
    Please please please do not listen to these post saying you're already married so you can't have a wedding, that's B.S. Yes, according to the State you are husband and wife but not according to you. You stated you shared no vows and had no justice of the peace, so I feel if you can afford it, go do it. Marriage is a very personal thing because it is a bond between you and your husband, everyone else is just a spectator and should stay just that. This is your commitment, your vows, your husband, your money, therefore your rules.

    Example: I shot a wedding where after the ceremony the bride and groom ducked around a corner until the rest of the party was ready. They were in earshot of my second shooter and I caught them kiss candidly. My shooter told me the groom said "guess what babe, we're married!" and then they kissed. When I sent them that picture I sent an email with it saying "this kiss was the first kiss when nobody told you you were married, you declared yourself married." Even though they shared their kiss at the altar the Bride immediately posted that picture to facebook under the title "Our real first kiss". 

    Now as far as the invitations, if you want to honor the court wedding you can word it something like "Join us for the exchanging of vows..." "Join us for a celebration of marriage..." or "Join is for a ceremony of marriage." Yes people are going to call asking what's going on, just explain to them (you can do it in the invite too) how much exchanging vows means to you and how you dreamed of the beautiful ceremony, anyone who loves you and want to see you happy will understand and support your ceremony. I hope this helps and congratulations on your marriage!
    Don't listen to lanikaiphotography. Based on the username I'm going to say VENDOR, which isn't allowed here.  @knotporscha
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    kmmssgkmmssg mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    WinstonsGirl said:
    But kmmssg, the photographer said that it's my rules so I get to be Queen Bee!!  ;)  
    Well, I get to be Queen of the Universe!!!
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    CokezerofreakCokezerofreak member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer First Comment
    Why don't you do something like "We signed the papers, now it's time to say our "I'do's...." on your invitation.
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    grumbledoregrumbledore member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Wow, tough crowd in here, eh? Way to attack without offering any sort of advice for a best way forward.

    The phrasing you are looking for is "Vow Renewal" that is officially what your celebration is. 

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    I didn't see anyone attacking the OP.  The advice was, universally, you are already married, so don't have a wedding, have an anniversary party, because that is what is appropriate.

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    grumbledoregrumbledore member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Also, how shocking that a wedding vendor would think it's okay to have a second wedding.  Hmm, conflict of interest anyone?

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    southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Definitely have an anniversary party. Nothing wrong with that. But don't put on a fake ceremony - you're married and that's wonderful, so congratulations! It sounds like you missed out on celebrating with your loved ones. Put the money toward a party. Just keep in mind it's not a "wedding" since you're already married.
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