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Just Engaged and Proposals

Telling a 5 year old?

We are in the process of getting engaged: as in it's already been decided and we are getting married within the next 6-12 months. We are planning on sitting down with my 5 year old daughter and telling her tomorrow. Suggestions? She knows who her dad is but sees him less then 5 times a year, his choice. I don't know if we need to bring him up in the conversation at all. And suggestions would be great! Thanks in advance!

Re: Telling a 5 year old?

  • I once heard of a lovely story where the groom gave the bride's little girl a small ring so she could be part of the engagement as well.  A little gold heart or a ring with a tiny diamond would be very sweet and he could propose to her too.  
    Sembree1brithewriter
  • I once heard of a lovely story where the groom gave the bride's little girl a small ring so she could be part of the engagement as well.  A little gold heart or a ring with a tiny diamond would be very sweet and he could propose to her too.  
    It's cute in theory, but I would not do this. What if she says no? You two have made the adult decision to get married and this conversation is to inform her of that decision - not to involve her in it.

    If you've decided to get married, you are engaged to be married (not in the process). Congrats!!  I would make sure your daughter is clear on that. I wouldn't expect much of a reaction out of her - the concept of marriage doesn't hold much water with little kids. 

    I would however do the following: Communicate to her that some things may change. If you already know what those things are, I would tell her. For example, if your FH will be moving in with you, if she will have step-siblings, etc. If you already know how you want to involve her in the wedding, you may ask her if she'd like to be involved. She doesn't need to say yes or no right away. 
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    KeptInStitches
  • She will most defenitely be in the wedding. Shes in love with this man, and will be super excited. We are also going to try to come up with a cute way for her to help us announce to everyone else. His parents were told last night, as they were the most important in his family he wanted to know first, and she is the first person on my side to tell, followed by my parents. I want an almost fun way to tell her that will make her even more excited then she already will be:)
  •     My FI has a 3 1/2 year old daughter. Her mother is very in and out of her life as she suffers from drug addiction. She knows she has a mom, but doesn't understand why she never comes to see her. When her father and I got engaged we sat down with her and explained to her what a step parent is and also asked her to be our flower girl. We were unsure of how much she understood as she just smiled and said "OK" and how much she loves me.
         Well, yesterday when she saw her grndmother (FI's mom) she told her how I am going to be her step mom and she will have two mommies. She even said that she is glad I'm going to be her new mommy because her other mommy doesn't want her (FI and I never said anything like that and it is heartbreking that such a young child realizes that her own mom doesn't want to be a part of her life!) She also told her how she is so excited to be the flower girl and it will be her job to throw flowers on the floor and wear a pretty dress.
         I hope that your telling your daughter will go as well as us telling FI's daughter went!
    melbelleup
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