I'm a hater.

GypsyWife_

I get mad when I see brides say I'm already legally married now I want a wedding. Don't they realize how lucky they are to have one in the first place? Don't even get me started on the lady who is on her 3rd wedding because her first two didn't go how she wanted.
I would be so happy with one wedding.

Maggie0829

I have to be honest.  I think you are holding a lot of resentment towards your husband and the choices you made when you joined into the gypsy culture.  You knew going in that you weren't going to get the wedding that you had always envisioned but you decided to go ahead anyways.  You need to own your decisions and move forward.

Yeah it is horrible that people do the whole PPD thing (even worse when they do it multiple times), but I think your hate really lies with the fact that the wedding you seem to have always dreamed of just can never be because of the person you decided to spend your life with.

I am not trying to be mean in anyway but that is how I feel you come across, especially with this post.

HisGirlFriday13

I agree with @Maggie0829. We tell brides who want PPDs, "Being an adult is about making choices, and one of the choices you made was to have a courthouse/JOP/small wedding. Actions have consequences. One of the consequences of your actions is that you are already legally married and will therefore not be able to have a PPD."

The same is true of you. You made a conscious, informed decision to enter into your husband's gypsy/Roma culture. You knew going in what that would mean in terms of what you'd have to give up. You knew that and you made the decision anyway. You now have to live with the consequences of those actions.

I'm also not trying to be mean, but you really do come across as bitter and hateful and resentful over a decision you made.

GypsyWife_

I've always been waiting for a wedding of anykind and expected one early on in the relationship. it just was never the right time. I'll have my needs met with our vow exchange soon enough. I am bitter I had to make an anniversary date up. I am kicking myself for not.taking what he said seriously. Especially because I only knew him a couple months. If I knew then what I know now. Oh well. I'll still live happily ever after.

Maggie0829

GypsyWife_ said:

I've always been waiting for a wedding of anykind and expected one early on in the relationship. it just was never the right time. I'll have my needs met with our vow exchange soon enough. I am bitter I had to make an anniversary date up. I am kicking myself for not.taking what he said seriously. Especially because I only knew him a couple months. If I knew then what I know now. Oh well. I'll still live happily ever after.

Just keep reminding yourself about how much you love him and love the life that you built with him.  I know if I were in your shoes I would be upset as well, but you just need to focus on the good things and not the things that you missed out on.  There are things in my life that I didn't do and I wish I had but I can't change those things now and if I could I may not be where I am and with the person I am with.

I hope your planning of your vow exchange is going well.  If you need to vent or need help you know that we are all happy discussing weddings and the like all day everyday

GypsyWife_

I actually am very happy I get to have a vow exchange/ 10th anniversary , I'm taking my time planning though. I had no idea I came off in other posts so bitter hatefull or resentful thanks for pointing it out.

msgrinn

Almost every woman wants the first man they married to be the only one they will marry again and again but it does not happen every time to everyone. It wasn't our fault to be trapped in an unhappy marriage so maybe we can look forward into something that is good in our lives and that is happiness and hope.

APDSS22

msgrinn said:

Almost every woman wants the first man they married to be the only one they will marry again and again but it does not happen every time to everyone. It wasn't our fault to be trapped in an unhappy marriage so maybe we can look forward into something that is good in our lives and that is happiness and hope.

Also, the PPD doesn't refer to a legitimate second wedding if you married someone you hate and got a divorce and now you're planning a new wedding.  PPD is only about people who get married in a smaller ceremony (usually JOP) and think that's not their "real" wedding because they wanted the whole she-bang with the dress and 1,000 people buying them presents.

ETA: Forgot to quote.

GypsyWife_

msgrinn said:

Almost every woman wants the first man they married to be the only one they will marry again and again but it does not happen every time to everyone. It wasn't our fault to be trapped in an unhappy marriage so maybe we can look forward into something that is good in our lives and that is happiness and hope.

I'm not trapped and im not in a unhappy marriage. I'm very lucky I have Loveing and hard.working faithfull husband .

Dreamergirl8812

msgrinn said:

Almost every woman wants the first man they married to be the only one they will marry again and again but it does not happen every time to everyone. It wasn't our fault to be trapped in an unhappy marriage so maybe we can look forward into something that is good in our lives and that is happiness and hope.

Gustafson28

Dreamergirl8812 said:

msgrinn said:

Almost every woman wants the first man they married to be the only one they will marry again and again but it does not happen every time to everyone. It wasn't our fault to be trapped in an unhappy marriage so maybe we can look forward into something that is good in our lives and that is happiness and hope.

Holy creepy GIF Batman!

APDSS22

I can't look away....