Update on Friend FB Meltdown

VarunaTT

For beginning, please see here:  http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/992556/come-read-my-friend-fb-meltdown-story#latest

So, for those keeping count, he has thrown a tantrum and left the group and his VP position once b/c he's peeved about shenanigans downtown.

Comes back.

Leaves again b/c he can't let go of things but there is no official announcement about him no longer being VP.

 

Update begins: 

I did a questionnaire for the members to get a handle on how the membership was feeling, since we had been suffering from an apathetic board.  I create an FB group last night for the board members to upload it so they can all see it quickly.  I text the president to ask if R is still VP.  Receive, "Yah, he came back".

2 times leaving, 2 times coming back.  And this is being tolerated.

So, I have to re-friend R on FB to put him into board member group (I should've just had president do it, but I can't rely on him to do anything in the first place).  He accepts and then is all butt hurt b/c I had unfriended him in the first place.  I tell him (over message), I'm not discussing this with him, perhaps when we are face-to-face I will be willing, but for now, this is just to get him into the board member group.  He then proceeds to rant and rave at me over messaging for about 1/2 an hour about how I'm being mysterious, various scenarios of trying to guess why I unfriended him, accusing me of lecturing him and treating him like a child (something I don't disagree with actually, but hello behavior), unfriends me, then re-friends me with an apology and "talk to me in your own time" message.

Unstable, completely unstable.

zsazsa-stl

Since he is already butt hurt, take the opportunity to actually give him a lecture.

Or, back away slowly from the crazy.

PirateBarbie

can you explain more about the "free-thinkers" group in general? purpose/goals/etc?

not saying that this guy isn't being a \#/ (being rude to the speaker, telling everyone off, throwing a tantrum, etc.), but I didn't get this in your OP:

"R went to the Positive Presence group and decided to dress in a provocative manner (provocative like clothing meant to start an argument, he himself referred to his clothing as subversive) and argue with the christians. "

What was he wearing? shouldn't he be free to express himself? and really, wearing a t-shirt isn't the same as getting in someone's face and yelling at them all of the reasons why their religious beliefs are wrong or trying to convert them.

VarunaTT

 

He was wearing a mirror mask, "to make people see themselves in me" (think a mask like cartoon cobra commander from GI Joe) and a chain link crown, black jeans and a black turtleneck, while holding a sign saying something about gods.  He told me he thought people would find his outfit to be sexually and religiously subversive, which is what he wanted.  He then engaged the religious people and also engaged in an argument with other people who came up to him for one reason or another (this is what led to the confrontation that started to get physical.  He did this while identifying himself as part of the Positive Presence group.

The person leading that particular activity, very firmly requested that this was to be a positive presence, not to start arguments with the religious people or to respond to anyone who tries to start an argument or involve themselves in an argument or any signs referencing religion.  

His personal behavior in this matter isn't really the issue; it's his behavior w/in the parameters of this defined activity.  HE can express himself all he likes; he cannot participate and then appropriate someone else's activity to do so, IMO.

PirateBarbie

VarunaTT said:

He was wearing a mirror mask, "to make people see themselves in me" (think a mask like cartoon cobra commander from GI Joe) and a chain link crown, black jeans and a black turtleneck, while holding a sign saying something about gods.  He told me he thought people would find his outfit to be sexually and religiously subversive, which is what he wanted. 

I don't get the outfit at all - I wouldn't have read anything into that other than possibly just think he was another nutcase waving a sign. 

I can see how his behavior and sign were not fitting in with the group's standards/defined activity -  by starting or participating in a fight with the religious protesters.

I misread OP - I thought you meant that he wore something to try and purposely offend members of your group. (or maybe this was his intent in addition to pissing off the religious folks.)

IMHO people are too easily offended, in general. 

VarunaTT

I honestly don't think people in the group really cared, even if he was "against the rules".  It was the temper tantrum afterwards about people not having his back and the post in the FB group that really started everything.

I don't really get the outfit either. 

hmonkey

i'm starting with the man in the mirror

i'm asking him to change his ways

and no message could have been any clearer

if you want to make the world a better place

take a look at yourself and make that change

(hoo hoo etc.)

alikatt17

The temper tantrums and hissy fits would be enough for me to say, "Thanks, but no thanks."  What a tool.

dharmabunny

VarunaTT said:

 

He was wearing a mirror mask, "to make people see themselves in me" (think a mask like cartoon cobra commander from GI Joe).

Was this dude ever on a season of the Bachlorette? The season with the introverted dude wearing some sort of Carnivale type mask in mixed company, spouting some sort of emo shit about masks and identity?

VarunaTT

Dharma, I have thought the same thing.  DH and I were discussing all of this and it comes down to I like the guy, I think he's really smart, but I can't deal with this drama.  I'm just too old to tolerate it anymore.

hmonkey

"smart"?

VarunaTT

Well, emotionally he isn't, but he actually is a well-read, intelligent person.  He's just also an arsehole.