October 2014 Weddings

More often than Knot??!?!

I need some advice/opinions...My boyfriend and I have been dating since we were in high school (~ 10 years). We've done all of the transitioning such as going to college, long distance relationships, moving in together, etc. I finally feel like we are in a GOOD space and we've discussed about getting married. Last December we started looking for rings and we picked one out for me. Since then, he's started paying for "my" ring and we've picked one out for him. About 3-4 months ago we set a wedding date. This is where it gets a little fuzzy for me....I've informed my closest friends and both of our parents and some family members are aware. We set the date for October 17, 2014, which will be our ten year anniversary. I didn't want to get ahead of myself and start planning, but it kind of happened anyway. I didn't want to plan our wedding at the last minute and end up not getting everything we wanted or anything remotely close to what we wanted. Sooooo....Now I'm in full fledge planning mode BUT I’m a little afraid to do certain things i.e. dress shopping because I DON'T HAVE MY RING just yet. However, we will be booking our venue in next month (fingers crossed that he likes the one I LOVE). I know that the ring is coming, but I’m not exactly sure when (hopefully by the end of the year). My question is: Am I overthinking the ring situation?, should I continue planning since we are set on OUR date? Does this happen (planning without a ring) more than I'm thinking? I know that the commitment is definitely there and that the wedding is definitely happening on 10.17.14. When should I start dress shopping? Should I wait on the ring? Is it that important? WHY AM I HOLDING BACK?

Re: More often than Knot??!?!

  • First of all, you're definitely over thinking this. Secondly, you never made it clear in your post whether or not you're actually engaged. You don't have to have a ring to be engaged, but you do have to have promised to marry each other. Did he ever actually say, "Toniab06, will you marry me?" If not, I'd stop planning and wait. 
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    wajohnson09toniab06
  • toniab06toniab06 member
    10 Comments First Anniversary
    edited August 2013
    Thanks! Maybe I am giving the ring too much power. We've decided to get married on 10.17.14 and have moved forward with wedding plans. There hasn't been an official "will you marry me" proposal because I guess we both figured that he couldn't do that without the actual ring. But there is definitely a promise to marry each other.
  • If you both have mutually agreed to start planning a wedding, (setting a date) then you are engaged. A ring is just a outward symbol of that commitment to each other. 


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    TeddiD34
  • I'm in a similar boat. You don't need a ring to be officially engaged.

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  • smalfrie19smalfrie19 Home of SB XLVIII Champs member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Name Dropper
    As long as you are both in the same boat about getting married you do NOT need a ring or a big "proposal" to be engaged! 
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  • I was in a sort of similar situation, we had talked about getting married and had even looked into a venue, but we did not set a date or book a venue until we were officially engaged. 

    My reasoning for that is: we didn't want to go to far with planning without being able to tell friends and family.  What if your best friend, sister, cousin, etc. got engaged during your "secret planning" and decided that Oct 17, 2014 would be the perfect day for her?  Would you be able to ask her to pick another date because that was already the date you had your heart set on, or already had a venue booked for?  You mentioned that you've already told some friends and family about that date, so maybe that would not be an issue for you, but for me, that was one of the biggest reasons not to do any planning pre-engagement.
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  • smalfrie19smalfrie19 Home of SB XLVIII Champs member
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    Emily104 said:
    I was in a sort of similar situation, we had talked about getting married and had even looked into a venue, but we did not set a date or book a venue until we were officially engaged. 

    My reasoning for that is: we didn't want to go to far with planning without being able to tell friends and family.  What if your best friend, sister, cousin, etc. got engaged during your "secret planning" and decided that Oct 17, 2014 would be the perfect day for her?  Would you be able to ask her to pick another date because that was already the date you had your heart set on, or already had a venue booked for?  You mentioned that you've already told some friends and family about that date, so maybe that would not be an issue for you, but for me, that was one of the biggest reasons not to do any planning pre-engagement.
    But thats the thing..If you are both on the same page about getting married...you are in a sense of the word already engaged....
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  • Thanks for the support ladies! I guess I shouldn't give the ring that much power, but we will definitely be wed next year in October. Once we finalize the venue I may slow down on the planning because this can definitely become stressful. Also can somebody tell me how to get the cool timelines in my signature????
  • smalfrie19smalfrie19 Home of SB XLVIII Champs member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Name Dropper

    go to the following link to create and then go up to the top right under the little person icon and under signaure settings you can first hit the little icon thats a white page with the two red arrows and then paste the html given after you create the ticker and then after you paste hit the little red arrow icon again and hit save!

     

    tickers: http://global.theknot.com/tickers/Default.aspx

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  • toniab06toniab06 member
    10 Comments First Anniversary
    edited September 2013

    Thanks I think I did it correctly!

     

     

  • toniab06toniab06 member
    10 Comments First Anniversary
    edited September 2013
  • You mention not wanting to go dress shopping, but I doubt any dress shop will ridicule you for not having a ring on your finger, and if they do, you don't want to work with them!  But, if that makes you uncomfortable, you can always say that it is getting resized ;]
    toniab06wajohnson09
  • Some people don't ever even do rings, or do a different form of the ring (i.e. tattoo), so whether or not you have a ring shouldn't deter you from dress shopping, and most places won't give it a second thought. If you want to go in and look, make that appointment. On a side note, planning now is a good idea, even if it is just a rough idea, because 11 months is not as long as you think. :) Congrats, by the way!
    toniab06
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