NWR: No more children

missmo14

Im hoping to get some advice from you lovely ladies on the board. Although this is my 1st marriage, I have a child (aged 5) from a previous long term relationship. I was burned really badly by my former partner and was a single parent from the get-go.

Fast forward to now, im with the most incredible man who treats my son as his own. We were planning on having 1 or 2 children together after our wedding however im having second thoughts about more children. Firstly I feel that the age gap would be too great (my son would be at least 7), im also so apprehensive because of my experience. Ive spoken to my fiancee who has been understanding but
I also feel incredibly guilty of him raising my son with no children of his own.

Is there anybody else in a similar situation? Any advice would be appreciated.

mmgreear

I had two children with my first husband before we divorced. The kids are now 8 (girl) and 6 (boy). Three years ago I met my fiance, who had no children. I told him up front that I didn't want any more kids, and he was fine with that. As time went on, he started saying that even though he loved my first two kids, he'd like to have one of his own. At first I told him no, but then I slowly changed my mind. We now have a 9 month old daughter, and none of us could be happier! We are even considering trying for another one, after the wedding.

Ultimately, you and your fiance will have to make this decision on your own. However, my older kids love having a baby around and they are very helpful with her too. I had plenty of doubts and paranoias about having another child, but I completely feel that we ended up making the right decision.

grumbledore

It's really going to come down to the two if you.  I don't think the age gap should be a primary concern though.

What you should be concerned about is getting on the same page with your husband.  He can't be merrily rolling along assuming it's just a matter of time before you guys have kids.  He needs to know if you are sure you don't want them.