Wrong board and can't delete....

[Deleted User]

(empty post)

msuprincess04

Not all etiquette books are right, so, that's your FMIL's mistake. But, asking her (or anyone else for that matter) to pay for any part of your wedding is your mistake. It's not your FMIL's wedding. It's yours. You and FI are responsible for the entire thing, the rehearsal dinner, ceremony, and reception. Now, if your mother, FMIL, or anyone else volunteers to help then that's great, but is in no way required.

 

Once you've accepted that, the rest will go smoother. Showers are no required. They are gifts from anyone who chooses to throw one. The bridal party doesn't have to do it, and your FMIL doesn't have to either. You may not get one, but a gracious bride accepts that and moves on.

 

I get your frustration, but it's your own causing. You asked her to pay money for things for you, though that was horribly rude. You expected her to pay for things for you, when you have no right to ask that of anyone. Let it all go. Tell her that you are happy to accept anything she'd like to host or be involved with, but if she doesn't want to, then don't worry about it. Then plan a wedding you can afford, and enjoy your day.

 

If you have any etiquette questions, I suggest the etiquette board. They can be brash, but they will make sure you are a great hostess and treat your family and friends as they should be.

KeptInStitches

I think you were wrong for demanding money from her in the first place. I read that you were insisting that she pay for your honeymoon and that she pay for half the catering. It's not her job to pay for anything - you're probably lucky that she's in better spirits. It's not her job to throw you a shower, and maybe she can't afford to now because she's paying for half the catering. I think you should apologize to her for demanding her money. From this post, it's more like you're treating her as a pocketbook than as your FMIL.

Cynthiajt1

Boo. DD.