How do I request RSVP for reception dinner?

Moni818

Since we are getting married at a church I really just need to know how many people are going to attend our reception dinner.  What is the best way to express that on the RSVP's?  Is it ok to say RSVP requested by (date) for Reception Dinner?  It IS however OUR money and I don't want to guesstimate how many of our attendants will go from our wedding to the reception. 

RedJacks25

You're inviting people to the reception but not to the ceremony?

ashleyep

Why would the guests only go to the church and not the reception? You have to invite everyone who goes to the wedding (aka the church) to the reception, so you should expect that they will all come. 

Send your invite and include a normal RSVP card. Don't include the two options on there, just give one option.

Is it normal in your area for guests to not go to the ceremony? Who turns down free food?

PrettyGirlLost

This confuses me, but JIC:

Moni818 said:

Since we are getting married at a church I really just need to know how many people are going to attend our reception dinner.  What is the best way to express that on the RSVP's?  Is it ok to say RSVP requested by (date) for Reception Dinner?  It IS however OUR money and I don't want to guesstimate how many of our attendants will go from our wedding to the reception. 

southernbelle0915

Is this one of those situations where a massive invite goes out to all the church members, there's a small cake/punch reception for all those people and then there's a dinner reception for family/friends? My advice would be different if this is the case.

doeydo

I'm confused by your question.  Are you expecting different people to be at the ceremony than at the reception?  

happyfor25

Your invitation should provide info about both the ceremony and the reception.  The RSVP is typically just for the reception (I've never heard of an RSVP for a ceremony actually).  Like PPs,  I guess I'm confused by your question since it is standard to need a response for the reception (as you mentioned, for the head count).

MayDay513

Moni818 said:

Since we are getting married at a church I really just need to know how many people are going to attend our reception dinner.  What is the best way to express that on the RSVP's?  Is it ok to say RSVP requested by (date) for Reception Dinner?  It IS however OUR money and I don't want to guesstimate how many of our attendants will go from our wedding to the reception. 

It depends on how many you invite. Normally the invitation states where the reception will be and most people will at least attend the reception if not both.

I too, am wondering if you are inviting an extra large group to the ceremony and only inviting few to the reception.

Maggie0829

Count me as another who is very confused by your question.

NYCMercedes

Confused too, by "attendants" until I realized she meant attendees.

Moni818

I am inviting everyone to the wedding and reception I just think that some of my neighbors and friends who do not know anyone else going would be shy to go to reception and just leave after the ceremony.  My fiance says most of the people from his church go to the ceremony and then go eat with their families (which I think is weird) so that concerned me a little with how I was going to gett a proper count.

ashleyep

Moni818 said:

I am inviting everyone to the wedding and reception I just think that some of my neighbors and friends who do not know anyone else going would be shy to go to reception and just leave after the ceremony.  My fiance says most of the people from his church go to the ceremony and then go eat with their families (which I think is weird) so that concerned me a little with how I was going to gett a proper count.

A lot of church weddings are open to members of the church. You don't need to send them an invite so you don't need to worry about them.

If your neighbors aren't going to attend the reception, they'll either decline altogether or let you know that they're only attending the ceremony. The RSVP really is for the reception, because headcounts don't matter at the church.

RedJacks25

Moni818 said:

I am inviting everyone to the wedding and reception I just think that some of my neighbors and friends who do not know anyone else going would be shy to go to reception and just leave after the ceremony.  My fiance says most of the people from his church go to the ceremony and then go eat with their families (which I think is weird) so that concerned me a little with how I was going to gett a proper count.

Nothing special needs to happen here. Send your invites like normal and they'll RSVP with how many people are coming.

If you think people will leave because they don't know anyone, you could be courteous and extend a +1 to the single people. Otherwise, you should also be inviting their significant others if they have them.

Moni818

Ok thanks all got it.

Thank you AshleyeP you have answered my question  and been most helpful! 

RebeccaB88

I'm still confused. Everyone who you want to attend gets an invitation with a response card. They fill it out and send it back telling you if they're coming or not.  If they don't get an invitation, they should know not to show up.  Pretty simple. 

If your guests are too shy shy to attend, that's their problem, not yours.  If you can afford it and have room, you can let them bring a friend, but you don't have to.  

Or, is this a cultural situation where invitations are shared and anyone who hears about it will just show up?  Or are you thinking of church members who attend all weddings just because they're at their church, but aren't formally invited and therefore should know they aren't included in the reception? 

photokitty

I had a few people that wrote on the RSVP or told me personally that they would only be at the ceremony. If people aren't attending the reception they will probably reach out to you with this info. GL!

Moni818

I just wanted to know how to go about getting the most accurate head count on the reception.  Since RSVP's typically say "Will attend" or "Will not attend" to me someone could reply that they were going to attend but not necessarily attend the reception since some people go off and do their own thing after the ceremony.  I understand now that RSVP card is for the reception and my question has been answered sorry if it was confusing.  I obviously was confused in the situation that is why I presented the question to begin with.

 

Moni818

Thank you photo Kitty!

Moni818

Yes sorry I meant attendees

MDbride1012

After the part that says will/will not attend, include lines with each dinner option. This way if it says 2 will attend, but no food options are selected, you can call and ask if they are only attending the ceremony.

southernbelle0915

Moni818 said:

I just wanted to know how to go about getting the most accurate head count on the reception.  Since RSVP's typically say "Will attend" or "Will not attend" to me someone could reply that they were going to attend but not necessarily attend the reception since some people go off and do their own thing after the ceremony.  I understand now that RSVP card is for the reception and my question has been answered sorry if it was confusing.  I obviously was confused in the situation that is why I presented the question to begin with.

I worded my RSVPs like this:

"We look forward to celebrating with you!

___ # attending the ceremony

___ # attending the reception"

We did it because we wanted to ensure no one added additional guests. Sounds like something like this would work for your head count.