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Unruly Matron of Honor!!!

saseblon73saseblon73 member
10 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
in 40-Plus Brides
HELP!!!  I have a friend that I made my matron of honor.  Since then, she is a BEAR to deal with!  Long story short, she thinks she needs to "plan" the wedding with me and go with me to everything I do for the wedding (even simple shoe shopping)!  All of my girls get along (there are 7 total) except she really has an issue with ONE of the bridesmaids.  It has made everything we all do together a nightmare!  Dress shopping was such an ordeal that I ended up going with 3 of my girls to pick out a dress for everyone and not telling her because of her attitude the two times before!  I just celebrated my 40th birthday and one of the girls left my party because of her and her attitude!  I made another friend my Maid of Honor to help buffer this stuff, but now I have two saying they are thinking of backing out because of the Matron of Honor!  What in the WORLD can I do at this point and what exactly are the dang Matron of Honor's duties exactly???  Thanks for the help and sorry about the yelling...I am just tired of the stress and my hair falling out from the stress!
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Re: Unruly Matron of Honor!!!

  • melbelleupmelbelleup member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
    Matron of honors actually don't have any duty but to stand there, wear ur dress, smile and be semi-sober. My matron of honor hasn't done anything... at all.. well I shouldn't say that. She went dress shopping with me and also bridesmaid shopping, but all of my maids went bridesmaid shopping but my cousin who couldn't make it. She is also throwing me my shower with my mom. super pumped! But other than that, that's it. I throw some ideas off of her but not many since she's usually busy.
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
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  • saseblon73saseblon73 member
    10 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    melbelleup said:
    Matron of honors actually don't have any duty but to stand there, wear ur dress, smile and be semi-sober. My matron of honor hasn't done anything... at all.. well I shouldn't say that. She went dress shopping with me and also bridesmaid shopping, but all of my maids went bridesmaid shopping but my cousin who couldn't make it. She is also throwing me my shower with my mom. super pumped! But other than that, that's it. I throw some ideas off of her but not many since she's usually busy.
    That is what I thought...but whatever "book" she has read tells her to be a true butt-head to all my other bridesmaids, my junior bridemaid and even some of my family!  I have tried being nice and talking to her, but at this point, nice is about to run out!
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  • dalm0mdalm0m member
    Ninth Anniversary 500 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    It's your wedding. If "nice" isn't getting her to back off, tough love may be in order  Don't be impolite but firm is OK.  You get to set the boundaries. 
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  • cshavocshavo member
    10 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    I would tell her point blank to butt out.  It's hard to do and be nice at the same time, but you must regain control and reign her in.  If you chose her initially to be your MOH she must be a very close friend?  If that is the case, you need to have a frank conversation with her and ask her to stop her antics NOW!  Good luck!!!!
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  • HisMrsJHisMrsJ member
    10 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its
    Wishing you well with this situation. Let us know how you end up handling it. 
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  • saseblon73saseblon73 member
    10 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    Well, so far so good.  I let her know that she was making me miserable and everyone in the bridal party miserable.  We agreed that she would back off and only do things when I ask.  As far as the one BM that she had the most problems with, she said she knew what her problem was with her, but that she would not bother me with it.  I am just waiting to see how things go when we all get together again.
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  • happymellowhappymellow member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    It sounds like her heart is in the right place, but she's maybe being a bit of a drill sergeant.  It sounds like she's really excited for you though, and that's a true friend...even if she's being a little overbearing.
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  • LoveyHowlLoveyHowl member
    10 Comments 5 Love Its First Anniversary
    edited February 2014
    happymellow said:
    It sounds like her heart is in the right place, but she's maybe being a bit of a drill sergeant.  It sounds like she's really excited for you though, and that's a true friend...even if she's being a little overbearing.

    I agree with this. Maybe you could throw her a bone occasionally and get her input on something minor. I'd also limit her contact with the other bridesmaids to the extent you're able. But let her know how much you treasure her friendship and perhaps that you'll be counting on her to keep things moving on your wedding day. Good luck!
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  • saseblon73saseblon73 member
    10 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its

    I appreciate everything, but she bowed out last week.  Everything came to a head, I have had people calling me left and right about the bachelorette party and the MOH had done nothing.  I had another make reservations and she just flipped.  We are in time crunch (38 days), and she didn't seem to want to do anything that I gave her to do when she asked.  It's ok really.  If she is a true friend then we will just work on the friendship AFTER my wedding.

     

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  • hlvonbhlvonb member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    @saseblon73

    I am sorry to hear about this. I agree if she is a true friend than the friendship can be fixed after the wedding. I actually went through something like this with 1 of my bridesmaids. I can link you the thread if you would like
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  • saseblon73saseblon73 member
    10 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    hlvonb said:
    @saseblon73

    I am sorry to hear about this. I agree if she is a true friend than the friendship can be fixed after the wedding. I actually went through something like this with 1 of my bridesmaids. I can link you the thread if you would like


    Yes, please do.  I would like to read about it.

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