So this is really just a vent - no advice or anything really to be asked, i'm just bummed.
Background - my SIL (brother's wife) and I haven't had a close relationship, it's been rocky at best. Not overtly fighting or anything, but she doesn't seem to want to have anything to do with me. When they had my niece things got better. Well, there was some drama between her and my MOH regarding scheduling of the bach/shower parties, and she wasn't able to make it. After the drama she emailed me to lay it out and tell me what happened so that I was informed. But she also stressed how she was really upset that she was missing it, and how she wants to be a part of everything because she has been enjoying how our relationship is developing. It came off as really sincere.
I really want her to be part of everything, but now after the drama it seems like she is intentionally not participating.
Tomorrow is FIs bach party so I am having friends over for a sleepover. She's known about it for months, but keeps saying she won't know her schedule until day of because she might have an internship interview. I totally get that - obviously that's more important. But is that going to take up your entire day? And I know she is doing something with her mom in the morning.
I was texting all of the girls last night to find out what their plans are for hair in the morning on the wedding day. Everyone but her chose to come to the salon that I am going to, but she is going to her regular stylist. I totally get that - no problem. I asked her what timing she was thinking and she said 9am - I said 'Perfect! I want to take everyone out for lunch before we have to go to the ceremony site so you'll be able to meet us!' She responded with 'Well, we'll see I might not be able to make it if my mom comes to get her hair done with me too". All I could respond was 'I would be really sad if you can't come to lunch' and she said 'I'm sure we'll be able to work something out'.
I'm just... frustrated I guess. I feel like she is choosing not to be a part of these things because of my MOH. I really want a good relationship with her, but I feel like she doesn't care. I know that all that's required of her is to show up on time and in the dress, I just wanted her to be more a part of everything/my life.