New York-New York City

Gift Giving from parents??? (NYC)

In NYC it is the norm to receive $ as engagement gifts and wedding gifts. Tangible gifts on a registry are usually for bridal shower only. I'm hoping to get some NY feedback since it seems "traditions" are not the same from state to state. Esp that NY/NJ weddings are usually over done compared to other states.

Anyway, if the parents are paying for any of the following- engagement party, shower or wedding.. do they still give a gift? I know a bridal shower its usually yes because obviously you see the gifts & who they're from but as far as engagement/wedding I'm unsure.

When I hosted 2 big surprise 50th birthday parties in a hall for each of my parents I still gave a birthday gift.

Just wondering how this works.

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Re: Gift Giving from parents??? (NYC)

  • I think it really depends on the parents and their individual situation. My future MOH hosted a shower (also gave very nice gifts) and will be hosting the rehearsal dinner at a very nice place, plus have helped along the way with a few of the smaller details. I know their intention is to get us a gift as well, but that could always change. Both sets of my parents have helped us out with the wedding a bit, but i have no clue if they plan on giving a gift as well. 

    I don't believe there is a set rule when it comes to this type of thing
  • CrazyCatLady3CrazyCatLady3 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    edited September 2013
    There's no set rule.  As for me, my mom is throwing me a shower at a high-end restaurant and giving me a large sum to go towards the wedding, so I certainly don't expect any further wedding or shower gift from her.  For me, those are gift enough.

    Also, I've never seen moms give gifts at their daughter's shower.
  • Well agreed. If a large sum is being given towards the wedding i'd certainly consider that like an engagement gift. In my case, I've never been to a shower where the mom didnt give a gift usually.

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  • My blue collar parents from central NJ gave us a small physical engagement gift, surprise paid for my dress (my mom whipped her card out while I was digging for my wallet), our rehearsal dinner (as in took the check out of my hand) and gave us a sizeable check at the wedding. My upper middle class inlaws from NYC/Westchester gave us a large check after we got engaged for use toward the wedding/honeymoon. I didn't have a shower (very small wedding).  
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  • Don't ask for anything and see what happens.  I think if they are contributing several hundreds/over $1000+ it's inappropriate to expect more.  But if they do give you an additional gift, be happy and blessed.  If not, you got great help to pay for some of the costs of your day.  Best!
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