Feeling pretty down

KytchynWitche

I live about 5 hours from my family and friends, in FI's hometown, with his parents (temporarily because we're waiting for a place to open up for us). I have no friends here, and I have no family here. I miss my mom. I miss my friends and the rest of my family too, but I really, really miss my mom.

I didn't leave home until I was 26, and even once I did, I saw my mom at least once a week, and spoke to her on the phone 3-4 times a week. Then we moved away. Now I Skype with her about once a week, sometimes supplemented with a phone call, but we're both busier now than before and there isn't a lot of time to talk about things anymore. Every time I've tried to get in touch with her lately, she's been busy, and I don't want to pester her because she's dealing with a lot at the moment at work.

I've been missing my mom since we moved here, but even more now that I'm engaged. I guess I always imagined that my mom would be planning with me. I want to share this with her...

A little while ago, I fell in love with a Mori Lee dress, which I have no hope of affording (being in South Africa, import and customs fees etc). This morning I was at the fabric shop so I thought I'd browse through the pattern books and see what's available. I'm glad I did, because I found a pattern that has the same silhouette and overall feel as the Mori Lee but is also slightly less glam and far more appropriate for a mid-morning wedding which (at this point) will be taking place in a church hall or someone's living room. I was bursting to share it with my mom, and I couldn't because she was working. I messaged a link through to her, she took a look while she was on break, messaged me back, and said we'd Skype tomorrow. I'm just totally underwhelmed, and totally overwhelmed, at the same time.

I know I probably sound like a brat, and maybe I am, but my mom is my best friend. Aside from FI, no one's opinion matters more than hers. And FI pretty much doesn't care what plans I make - I run them by him anyway, but he trusts my judgment. Which is nice, in some ways, but also really frustrating because I am only one person and am totally fallible...

I'm not sure what I'm trying to achieve with this post. I think I just need to vent.

easilyunamused

I understand how you feel too. I moved out of my home state at 22, and now I'm 29 and I still miss her! But you just have to try to not get down on the fact you aren't closer right now. It'll just make this process more stressful. How long have you lived there? Can you try to make friends? Maybe even try to forge a relationship with some women in his family too. I know it's not your mom, but sometimes you just need a nice friendship.

KytchynWitche

Thanks for the support, ladies.

I'm friendly with his mom, and with his sister. Unfortunately his sister is even further away than my family, and the rest of his family is overseas. I'll try to meet more people, but the town we live in is essentially a vacation/retirement place, so there aren't really many young people.

I did have a chat with the owner of our favourite restaurant this morning. She's fairly young, and we get along quite well. She's fairly excited about the wedding plans. So that's good. But still, not my mom...

msgrinn

I totally understand how you feels. Our parents, particularly our mom was the best person we can have in life. She's always been there through our ups and downs and her love is the greatest that we can have and feel. Moving away from our mother may give us the sudden feeling of loneliness but we can't stay with her forever so we need to cope with changes knowing that her love will never ever change.

melbelleup

Trust me I'm in the same boat as you. I am from PA and currently in NC because of fiance's job. When he took the job interview I told him I would move with him (before engaged) and we've now been here for a year and I have not a single friend. My one and only friend I made down here moved away... I actually barely talk to my mom, but I do talk to my dad daily. I think he's gotten used to me calling him now pretty much every day. It's just nice to hear a familiar voice. I would recommend try and skype with some friends back home too. It will help a lot.

KytchynWitche

So my mom and I never did get to Skype this past weekend. Guess things were just too hectic for her. But I did email her yesterday, and she mailed me back, so that helps a little.

FI and I are going back "home" for 5 days at the end of the month, and I plan on spending as much time as possible with my mom then. Hopefully I'll feel better then.

I'm sure that part of why I'm down is also that I don't have a final budget, and I don't have a date, so I can't actually narrow things down yet. I don't even know whether we're getting married in spring or winter at this point, and that won't be figured out until after we talk to the priest, which won't happen until November or later.

Anyway, thanks for all the kind words, ladies!