Bridesmaid Advise Needed

[Deleted User]

Hi Everyone,

I sure hope I am posting this in the right area.  Here's my question for everyone... Should I ask my future sister inlaws to be my bridemaids? Here's a little bit of my back story, I don't have any sisters and have 2 close girlfriends who I have already asked to be in my wedding.  My fiance has 2 sisters who I get along with; and I like and they like me.  I haven't spent a lot of time with them because they are both very busy with their families(1 has a newborn and a toddler with down syndrome and the other sister has 2 kids in sports, elementary school) but I am considering asking them to be in our bridal party.  My fiance has 4 best friends(3 have been friends since high school; 1 for about 10 years), and plans to ask them all to be in our wedding.  I don't care so much about having equal numbers of bridesmaids and groomsmen but i think me having 2 and him 4 might be a little weird.  So it got me thinking this would be a great opportunity for me to spend more time with his sisters and their families and have them share in our special day.  I sure hope this makes sense.  Any advise is much appreciated.

jessyk1065

I know a lot of people stick to the idea that you never ever have to ask your future in laws to be in the bridal party, which I absolutely agree with. However, I have been on both sides of the equation, and I think in this case it might be nice to ask them. When my bro got married my now SIL asked me to be a bridesmaid and it helped us grow closer. Our wedding is in oct and I have also asked my fiancee's sister to be a BM, knowing how much I appreciated being asked and the opportunity to get to know my SIL better.

[Deleted User]

Thanks!

WinstonsGirl

You seem to know you don't need even sides, so don't worry about it.  I'm of the mind to only ask the people who would help you bury a body if needed.  If you feel asking them would help you build a stronger relationship between you and them, go for it, but if you're only wanting your 2 friends that's fine too.  But don't expect them being in your wedding party to magically create a fantastic relationship between all of you.  It may take more time and less wedding things than that.  

Maggie0829

I agree with WinstonsGirl.  If you only want to ask them to help build your relationship with them then I think that is not a good reason.  You should only include those that are nearest and dearest to you not those that you hope to have a better relationship with.

If you want to build your relationship with them then ask them out for dinner and drinks or for a nice lunch, but don't include them in your wedding for just that reasons alone.

annathy03

I'm on the fence but lean towards no. On the one hand you all like each other and making your FSILs feel included is nice, but on the other hand there are other ways to include them without working a dress into the equation (getting their opinions on invites, a reading, etc). It sounds like you aren't super close because everyone is busy- being a BM won't change that. That being said if you feel like they'd like to be BMs I don't think there is any harm in asking them.

bride2b71614

Ditto with @winstonsgirl and @maggie0829...if you are doing it because you want to build a relationship with them, I would advise against it. I was debating the same issue with my FSIL. Although we don't get along AT ALL, I felt as though it would be a SERIOUS faux pa if I didn't include her as a bridesmaid. After posting on the knot (can't remember which board), I learnt that it isn't a rule that future in laws must be included in the wedding party. That being said, I like the idea that @annathy03 came up with...if you feel compelled to include your FSILs in some way, maybe you could have them do a reading, asking their opinions for decorations or maybe allowing them to come to your final dress fitting, if you are having a wedding where children are invited, you could incorporate their children as flower girls, ring bearers, you get the idea (at the same time I can see where this method could pose a problem, because you would most likely have to include every child, and cannot pick and choose without potentially insulting one FSIL). Over all, this is your call to make, and you shouldn't feel as though you must include them. Good luck.