Uneven number of bridesmaids vs. groomsmen - tactful way to line them up at the church?

kkleigh10

Hi everyone - 

I'm hoping to get some help/ideas on a tactful way to line up my bridesmaids at the church during our ceremony in May. My husband-to-be has very close friends that will not be able to make it to our wedding. As a result, he is going to have one best man but no groomsmen. I was originally only going to have one maid of honor, but after giving it some thought I'd really like to have my friends in the wedding as well - so there will be 4 bridesmaids plus the maid of honor. 

Is there a way to make this look OK at the church? The last thing I want to do is line up 5 people on my side and only 1 person on his. Another thing to consider is the fact that both his parents passed away two years ago, and I don't want to do anything that makes him feel lonely, I guess. My thought was to have my bridesmaids walk down the aisle then file into the front pew and sit there during the ceremony, so just my maid of honor will stand up at the alter with me. His best man will be up there too so perhaps that would look less unbalanced? 

Another idea is to not have my friends in the wedding at all (I haven't asked them yet) and stick with the original plan of one maid of honor and one best man. Ahh I don't know what to do!  Any ideas or thoughts would help! 

itzMS

kkleigh10 said:

Hi everyone - 

I'm hoping to get some help/ideas on a tactful way to line up my bridesmaids at the church during our ceremony in May. My husband-to-be has very close friends that will not be able to make it to our wedding. As a result, he is going to have one best man but no groomsmen. I was originally only going to have one maid of honor, but after giving it some thought I'd really like to have my friends in the wedding as well - so there will be 4 bridesmaids plus the maid of honor. 

Is there a way to make this look OK at the church? The last thing I want to do is line up 5 people on my side and only 1 person on his. Another thing to consider is the fact that both his parents passed away two years ago, and I don't want to do anything that makes him feel lonely, I guess. My thought was to have my bridesmaids walk down the aisle then file into the front pew and sit there during the ceremony, so just my maid of honor will stand up at the alter with me. His best man will be up there too so perhaps that would look less unbalanced? 

Another idea is to not have my friends in the wedding at all (I haven't asked them yet) and stick with the original plan of one maid of honor and one best man. Ahh I don't know what to do!  Any ideas or thoughts would help! 

The bolded sounds nice. A lot of churches do it this way, anyways (Only MOH/Best man aka "witnesses" at the altar).

manateehugger

kkleigh10 said:

Hi everyone - 

I'm hoping to get some help/ideas on a tactful way to line up my bridesmaids at the church during our ceremony in May. My husband-to-be has very close friends that will not be able to make it to our wedding. As a result, he is going to have one best man but no groomsmen. I was originally only going to have one maid of honor, but after giving it some thought I'd really like to have my friends in the wedding as well - so there will be 4 bridesmaids plus the maid of honor. 

Is there a way to make this look OK at the church? The last thing I want to do is line up 5 people on my side and only 1 person on his. Another thing to consider is the fact that both his parents passed away two years ago, and I don't want to do anything that makes him feel lonely, I guess. My thought was to have my bridesmaids walk down the aisle then file into the front pew and sit there during the ceremony, so just my maid of honor will stand up at the alter with me. His best man will be up there too so perhaps that would look less unbalanced? 

Another idea is to not have my friends in the wedding at all (I haven't asked them yet) and stick with the original plan of one maid of honor and one best man. Ahh I don't know what to do!  Any ideas or thoughts would help! 

1. Uneven sides don't matter - like at all. So stop stressing about that yesterday.

2. Have whoever you want in your wedding party. Don't let something like aesthetics prevent you from having your nearest and dearest next to you on your wedding day. Otherwise people become more like props than your friends.

3. I think having just the MOH and BM stand next to you during the ceremony is fine. You could also just have the entire wedding party sit through the whole ceremony. For walking back out, just have them go single file. Or you could just have your girls stand next to you and his BM stand next to him the whole time. It REALLY wont matter. Do what feels most comfortable for everyone.

4. It needs repeating. This is pretty much a non-issue. Stop worrying over it.

kkleigh10

Cool, thanks PDKH. I'm less worried about aesthetics than I am making my fiance feel like he's all by himself up there. That's really where the stress is coming from!

Maggie0829

kkleigh10 said:

Cool, thanks PDKH. I'm less worried about aesthetics than I am making my fiance feel like he's all by himself up there. That's really where the stress is coming from!

But he won't be up there by himself.  He will have the officiant with him and more importantly you.

manateehugger

Maggie0829 said:

kkleigh10 said:

Cool, thanks PDKH. I'm less worried about aesthetics than I am making my fiance feel like he's all by himself up there. That's really where the stress is coming from!

But he won't be up there by himself.  He will have the officiant with him and more importantly you.

Exactly this. You two are entering into a legal, sacred bond that says you wont be alone because you'll have each other.

If he's worried about feeling lonely in comparison to your side (which is kind of silly), just have the WP sit during the whole ceremony.

kkleigh10

Ok, thanks ladies. All this worry is totally coming from me, not him. He told me to have whoever I want in the wedding and not to think twice about it. I'm just trying to be as sensitive to him as I can. 

manateehugger

kkleigh10 said:

Ok, thanks ladies. All this worry is totally coming from me, not him. He told me to have whoever I want in the wedding and not to think twice about it. I'm just trying to be as sensitive to him as I can. 

Sounds like you've got a supportive FI. If he isn't stressed about it, don't stress on his behalf. Move on to bigger wedding issues and just focus on having the wedding and marriage you want.

daveANDkristen

Once DH and I were up there, I didn't feel anyone but him. There is no way your FI would feel lonely because you have more attendants than him, promise. Have whoever you want as your BMs.

misssunshine17

Having them sit is a great option, but whatever you choose is fine. Good luck!

tammym1001

I am having 4 BM's and FI is only having a BM. His BM will already be standing at the altar with him. My girls will walk down the aisle by themselves. The BM's will file into the front pew and the MOH will walk up to the altar. So during the ceremony it will be me, FI, priest, BM, and MOH at the altar. When we walk back out the BM and MOH will walk down together behind us and the BM's will walk back out by themselves. 

kkleigh10

tammym1001 said:

I am having 4 BM's and FI is only having a BM. His BM will already be standing at the altar with him. My girls will walk down the aisle by themselves. The BM's will file into the front pew and the MOH will walk up to the altar. So during the ceremony it will be me, FI, priest, BM, and MOH at the altar. When we walk back out the BM and MOH will walk down together behind us and the BM's will walk back out by themselves. 

I think this is exactly what I'll do. Thanks for sharing!