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1st time groom, 3rd time bride, registry ideas..

this will be my third wedding but his first. I really want him to have a great and full wedding experience. we already live together and have a lot of things so we don't really need anything. would it still be appropriate to create a registry and have the groom pick a few things he wants for the house and then have a Disney honeymoon registry since that is where the wedding and honeymoon will be? 

Re: 1st time groom, 3rd time bride, registry ideas..

  • LondonLisaLondonLisa London, UK member
    2500 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Please do not do a honeymoon registry. They are very rude, tacky and against etiquette!!

    It is basically begging for money, which is rude. Everyone knows money is a good wedding gift, and you can use that for your honeymoon. These companies take a percentage of the money given by your guests and just write you a cheque.  For example, when Auntie Anne gives you 100 dollars, you will only, hypothetically, get 90 dollars. It is also lying to your guests, because people buy you "experiences" but all you are really doing is getting a cheque to spend however you want.

    Create a small gift registry of upgrades and politely spread the word through your bridal party/ Mother etc. that you are saving up for a Disney trip. When someone asks where you are registered you can say "we have a small registry here, but we are saving up for a big trip". They will get the clue and give you money. You can then use that money for your Disney trip without lying to your guests or having to give a random company a cut of your gift.

  • magaaron said:
    this will be my third wedding but his first. I really want him to have a great and full wedding experience. we already live together and have a lot of things so we don't really need anything. would it still be appropriate to create a registry and have the groom pick a few things he wants for the house and then have a Disney honeymoon registry since that is where the wedding and honeymoon will be? 
    Another vote for no honeymoon registry. There's a sticky thread at the top of this board fully explaining why. I promise people will give you money without one.
    image
  • AprilH81AprilH81 Columbus, OH member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    I would do a small registry so that his side of the family can buy gifts if they want (or your side for that matter).  Since this is your third wedding  I would decline a shower since those are traditionally for the bride (not so much the groom).

    DO NOT do the honeymoon registry.  Everyone knows that cash is always a useful gift.
    photo composite_14153800476219.jpg
    southernbelle0915
  • AprilH81 said:
    I would do a small registry so that his side of the family can buy gifts if they want (or your side for that matter).  Since this is your third wedding  I would decline a shower since those are traditionally for the bride (not so much the groom).

    DO NOT do the honeymoon registry.  Everyone knows that cash is always a useful gift.
    Exactly this. 
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  • AprilH81 said:
    I would do a small registry so that his side of the family can buy gifts if they want (or your side for that matter).  Since this is your third wedding  I would decline a shower since those are traditionally for the bride (not so much the groom).

    DO NOT do the honeymoon registry.  Everyone knows that cash is always a useful gift.
    Exactly this. 
    And this again.
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  • I've also never met a groom who was at all interested in the registry.

    Have you asked him, and does he honestly care?

    If he does, then yes, create a small registry of upgrades.

  • I think I should add that I have used Disney as gift registry in the past and they mail you a gift card. Anything that is purchased is added to the gift card and you can use the gift card any way that you want. You don't have to use it for an" experience" if someone selects one. you can use it for anything. they send you an email anytime someone adds money to it, telling you the amount and if that person left you a note with it. 

    I agree with not having the bridal shower. our families are from all over the place and it would be too difficult to get them all together. we are having our parents spread the word that we are not doing a shower and if they would like to send a gift to send it to our house since the wedding itself is taking place in another state as well. traveling with gifts is difficult and we don't want to cause undo stress for our guests. we are adding our website info into the envelope for the save the dates that we will be sending out. that way all of our guests will be able to see all the info that we are planning for the wedding and other events. 
  • LondonLisaLondonLisa London, UK member
    2500 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    magaaron said:
    I think I should add that I have used Disney as gift registry in the past and they mail you a gift card. Anything that is purchased is added to the gift card and you can use the gift card any way that you want. You don't have to use it for an" experience" if someone selects one. you can use it for anything. they send you an email anytime someone adds money to it, telling you the amount and if that person left you a note with it. 

    I agree with not having the bridal shower. our families are from all over the place and it would be too difficult to get them all together. we are having our parents spread the word that we are not doing a shower and if they would like to send a gift to send it to our house since the wedding itself is taking place in another state as well. traveling with gifts is difficult and we don't want to cause undo stress for our guests. we are adding our website info into the envelope for the save the dates that we will be sending out. that way all of our guests will be able to see all the info that we are planning for the wedding and other events. 
    It is rude and impolite to ask for money, even in the form of gift cards. People know that money is a good wedding gift without registering for it. It is very much against etiquette.
    grumbledore
  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    scribe95 said:
    Every time one of these honeymoon threads come up I just don't get it.

    Can OP or someone explain the allure? People give money at weddings. All the freaking time. So why the need for this middle person that takes a cut?
    Personally I think it's an attempt to force people who don't give cash or prefer not to give cash to in fact give cash by deceiving them into thinking that they're not giving cash.



    NYCMercedesRebeccaB88southernbelle0915
  • Does anyone else find it weird that the OP is going on the same honeymoon that she did with a previous groom?


    lizybeff
  • photokittyphotokitty where I want to be mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited September 2013
    mlg78 said:
    Does anyone else find it weird that the OP is going on the same honeymoon that she did with a previous groom?
    No, but I didn't read it that way either - She could have used the registry for some other use/event. 
    But either way if she loves Disney I don't see why she can't go back - request the same honeymoon suite, that would be weird. Some people get married in the same church as their first wedding, bc it is their church - no less weird if you ask me :-)
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

  • I woud say YES to the Disney registry, I keep reading comments about HM registeries being tacky WELL that would make registries in general tacky. Are you not "begging" for gifts by letting ppl know you have a registery period!!

    What I find tacky is woman who are already married, stalking the board sites years after their wedding. Do you not have anyting else going on in your life that you woud be on wedding boards.

    There is no difference in buying a gift card  (like cash) or buying a bottle of wine on a HM registery?? Times have changed...

  • edited September 2013
    cami702 said:

    I woud say YES to the Disney registry, I keep reading comments about HM registeries being tacky WELL that would make registries in general tacky. Are you not "begging" for gifts by letting ppl know you have a registery period!!

    What I find tacky is woman who are already married, stalking the board sites years after their wedding. Do you not have anyting else going on in your life that you woud be on wedding boards.

    There is no difference in buying a gift card  (like cash) or buying a bottle of wine on a HM registery?? Times have changed...





    A) Gift registries and cash registries are not remotely the same thing. I don't know how much clearer we can fucking make this, okay? Aside from cash registries being deceptive because they take some of the money, they are unnecessary because everyone in the damn world likes money and they know other people like to get money. Gift registries are different because I don't know your tastes/decor and I would like to give you a gift you can actually use but I prefer to give a physical gift rather than cash.

    B) What, you want advice from women who have not yet had their wedding? Why the hell do you want that? I guess when I get pregnant I should ask advice from women who are also pregnant for the first time, right? Because that makes tons of sense.
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    It's already been addressed, but please skip the cash registry.  They are very rude.  

    The gift registry isn't really a part of the "wedding experience."  He's not going to miss out on anything if he doesn't get to pick a china pattern.  Make a small registry of items you could use around the home.  If you don't need anything, skip the registry.  
  • Pick a store out that will have things he likes. I picked Target and let FI have the scan gun. OMG.. we went into the kitchen section with 40 some items on our registery & walked out with 97 items on the registry. He likes cool kitchen gadgets. He also registered for some outdoor games, a camera & game system (he didn't get those) but by picking  a store that has things you both like you can have fun picking out things you don't need but would love to have but wouldn't buy yourself.
  • cami702 said:

    I woud say YES to the Disney registry, I keep reading comments about HM registeries being tacky WELL that would make registries in general tacky. No. Are you not "begging" for gifts by letting ppl know you have a registery period!! No. The purpose of a registry is to tell people what china pattern you'd like, what color towels you're looking for, etc. A HM registry is a disguised way of asking for money. You don't get the bottle of wine, you get a check. Not only that, but the B&G don't even get 100% of the money the guest gives - the HM vendor skims 3-10% off the top. Everyone loses. Guests know money is a good present. Everyone knows that. And it's very easy to write a check. Asking for money is rude. 

    What I find tacky is woman who are already married, stalking the board sites years after their wedding. Do you not have anyting else going on in your life that you woud be on wedding boards. Tell me, Cami, if you were planning a vacation to Hawaii, would you rather ask for advice from someone who had been to Hawaii or someone who had not been to Hawaii? If you are going to buy a Ford Escape, would you ask someone who HAS an Escape what it's like or would you ask someone who does not have an Escape what it's like? Personally, if I am planning to do something and I'm looking for advice, I'd rather ask someone who has already done it - obviously they have more insight than someone who has not done it. Thanks for proving the point that experience matters. 

    There is no difference in buying a gift card  (like cash) or buying a bottle of wine on a HM registery?? Yes, there is a difference. Go read the sticky on HM registries. I think it would be a good use of your time. Times have changed...  It will never be considered OK to ask people for money. The only thing that has changed is how people disguise it.


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    xhellokitty
  • I do not think there is anything wrong with the honeymoon registry. You can include many things in this. A honeymoon registry is made for the couple who has everything in the home and want something different. Get some more information regarding honeymoon registry items here…

  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
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