Wedding Invitations & Paper
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Invitation/Response card etiquette/wording!

We are having our ceremony and reception at a hotel locally. I've begun doing my invitations etc and have come across some issues on what the "correct" way of writing them is! (I've attached a mock up) my FI first name is James but he only goes by Jim. Mind you, this isn't a super formal wedding. I want to just write his name as Jim Steven Doe instead of James Steven Doe. Is that ok? Also, his M+D's formal names are Steven and Janice but again they strictly go by Steve and Jan, can I also use those names? They don't care either way also. Any thoughts? Is this really a big deal to not use their proper names? Also, I'm, like many, on a budget and trying to keep our wedding intimate and with only our close family and friends there. I've read a lot on how to properly write things for this too, and have come up with writing "We have reserved __ seats for you" on the response cards, so we can avoid any uninvited guests! I'm hoping that this will also apply to the people we are inviting who have children that aren't going to be invited! I thought about adding (adults only please) on the bottom as well to get this across, so I can avoid the uncomfortable call to tell someone they were only invited and not their 5 kids! I know some may find this rude or mean but again, we are on a budget and would prefer to not have a lot of extra guests. Any advice on how to word this on the response card to convey the message? Thank you!

Re: Invitation/Response card etiquette/wording!

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    First, get rid of your picture -- you don't want people having your info on this website.

    I'm not a fan of your wording.  I'm a traditional girl and clearly your parents are hosting so you nee to state it as such as your current invitation is like a letter or something -- very strange.  And regardless of what they like to be called, it should be their formal name on the invite.  My FI is Ronnie...I cringe at "Ronald"...but that's on the invite.  The minister will call him Ronnie and everything else says Ronnie...but not the invite.

    Mom & Dad LastName 
    request the pleasure of your company
    at the marriage of their daughter
    First Middle
    to
    First Middle Last
    Saturday, wedding date
    year spelled out
    time spelled out
    venue info

     

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    Agree with PP wording for the invites. Definitely don't put "Adults Only". If people RSVP with more than they were invited with, you will just have to call them. It may be slightly awkward, but it's better than being rude.
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    KatWAGKatWAG member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited September 2013
    I agree with PPs. And I would use their formal names. Saying you have X nbumber of seats reserved in your honor is perfectly fine. Saying "Adults Only" is not. There is no need to point out who is not invited (like children)
    BabyFruit Ticker
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    Birdie344 said:
    We are having our ceremony and reception at a hotel locally. I've begun doing my invitations etc and have come across some issues on what the "correct" way of writing them is! (I've attached a mock up) my FI first name is James but he only goes by Jim. Mind you, this isn't a super formal wedding. I want to just write his name as Jim Steven Doe instead of James Steven Doe. Is that ok? If it's not formal, it's fine to write what you call yourselves. Also, his M+D's formal names are Steven and Janice but again they strictly go by Steve and Jan, can I also use those names? Yes. They don't care either way also. Any thoughts? Is this really a big deal to not use their proper names? If your wedding was formal and you wanted to use the most traditional format, you should use full and proper names. If your wedding isn't and you don't care about using traditional names (there's nothing wrong with that from an etiquette perspective), then it's fine to use the names you actually go by.  Also, I'm, like many, on a budget and trying to keep our wedding intimate and with only our close family and friends there. I've read a lot on how to properly write things for this too, and have come up with writing "We have reserved __ seats for you" on the response cards, so we can avoid any uninvited guests! I'm hoping that this will also apply to the people we are inviting who have children that aren't going to be invited! I thought about adding (adults only please) on the bottom as well to get this across, it's against etiquette to indicate who ISN'T invited so I can avoid the uncomfortable call to tell someone they were only invited and not their 5 kids! I know some may find this rude or mean but again, we are on a budget and would prefer to not have a lot of extra guests. Any advice on how to word this on the response card to convey the message? Thank you!
    I had an adults only wedding. I addressed the invitation to only the people who were invited (e.g. Mr. and Mrs. Smith). You could word your response cards like this:

    "We look forward to celebrating with you!
    Name(s)_____________________
    ___# attending 
    ___decline with regret"

    That way, if someone writes in a name of someone who wasn't invited or adds guests, you'll know and can follow up. Guests aren't nearly as dense as you might think. No one ended up bringing kids to my wedding or adding additional guests.
    *********************************************************************************

    image
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    I agree with PPs.  Your wording seems kind of odd (where you state your parents names at the end, etc.) and invites are usually written in third person.  As for the names, if it is an informal wedding as you have said, then I don't think you have to write out full legal names that they don't actually use in real life.
    image
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    1) Your wording sounds odd because invitations should be written in third person (their), not first person (our, we).  Stick with the traditional wording suggested above.

    2) Use formal names. Everyone I know calls me Libby, but my real name was on the invitations.

    3) Don't put anything like "Adults only reception".  It is very rude to state who is not invited.

    4) Block out your names and other personal information from the invitation you have posted here.
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    The picture is a mock up, I changed the names and location etc. it isn't my real information for one.
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    And thanks for the great advice! It's funny because I used a template from a website that does invites, so I don't get why they would have this if it sounds so weird? Ehh, either way I will change it to sound less like a letter :)
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    See this is the template from DB, so is this not ok to use since many of you said the wording is weird? The only extra part I want to add is "son of so and so". It must sound strange since it's not one of their formal ones??
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    There are actually a ton of wording and capitalization errors in that mock up.

    How about you write up sample wording and we can advise what is correct?
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