Ring prices

suzie211

Gah!  I didn't even think about adding my ring porn!  How could I miss an excuse to show of my pretty?

Here's the gorgeous ring H picked out for me:

Pepper6

Funny story, H totally thought the wedding band was the most expensive, not the e-ring, so when we started looking, he was freaking out thinking that if he had to spend that much on an e-ring...how much he was going to have to spend on the band.

I was pretty easy to shop for since I'd always just wanted a plain solitaire, so we went together because I had no idea what size stone would look good.  I assumed 1 carat would be good so that's sort of where we set the budget, but when I tried them on, they looked way too big on my small hand.  I ended up picking a .5 carat because that's what felt right on my hand.

After we got engaged, one of H's friend's wives scolded him because "he should have bought me a bigger diamond because everyone knows that the size of the diamond is in direct correlation to how much he loves me".  Ugh... 

phira

@Pepper6 UGGGGHHHHH that's one of the reasons I'm glad that we didn't get me a diamond. I feel like the sapphire throws people off enough that they don't know what to make of it, and they don't even think to say something stupid like how my partner must not love me enough, etc. etc.

Also ring porn:

Swazzle

Yay for ring porn!

500days

Beautiful rings! Here's mine:

[Deleted User]

whoa, @suzie211 : GORGEOUSSSSSS.

I'm going to try to post a picture of mine, but I can never get pics to upload on the new site.  my ring is an antique heirloom that has been in the family for decades.  I love it.

mdupon70997

I'm lucky to have a very beautiful, very expensive, very high quality engagement ring/wedding band set. He bought exactly what I wanted even thought I told him that it was too expensive and that I would be happy with something less pricey. But he was able to afford it. He knows how sentimental I am and that I would never ever want to upgrade my ring (even if it were only a simple gold band) to have something of better quality down the road. So he went ahead and bought what I wanted knowing it would be on my hand for the rest of our lives. On the other hand my BFF specifically told her husband that she wanted a white gold ruby solitaire ring when they went shopping (the jeweler even wrote it down) because she loathes yellow gold. For some reason he proposed with a yellow gold ring that had a ruby and two diamonds on the side. She doesn't wear it. 

Blackbird230

@mdupon70997 did he have a reason for getting the yellow gold?

KeptInStitches

Given that she stated her preferences so clearly, I hope it was a family ring of some sort. Otherwise why bother asking? It's not what she preferred, not really.

doubleSS07

When we started looking I had ideas of what I liked but he was having a hard time with setting a budget.  Once I started trying on $10K rings he got all flustered and I had to explain to him that's why I need a budget so that we can LOOK within that range.  Men sometimes have all sorts of funny ideas about Erings.  He basically thought that he would have to get me whatever I picked out, even if it was crazy expensive which was sooo not the case. 

We got a smokin deal on my ering and my band at the Jewelry Mart in SF.  It's a Christopher Designs setting and we picked the stone.  .97 cushion cut, H color, excellent cut, SI2(white inclusion) with .30 pave diamonds on the sides.

 

leia1979

It's late, and I'm too tired to go off on my jewelry marketing rant that people here have read before. Fortunately, other posters have shared similar views already, so...what they said.

I was shocked that my H expected to pay about $5k for my ring. We live in California, where everything is damn expensive, but I just didn't want him spending that kind of money on jewelry, even though I knew most of my friends had rings in the $6k range. I think some men feel the engagement ring they buy is a reflection upon them. In fact, one friend's H deliberately bought a diamond that was 0.1 carats larger than his wife's friend's ring in the spirit of one-upmanship.

In the end, my ring cost about $2k for the set. The setting was 90% of the cost, and the center stone is Lannyte (name-brand CZ). I originally wanted Moissanite, and nothing sealed the deal more than a sales guy at a jewelry store bringing out this tiny speck of a diamond that was $4k. The jeweler we bought from thought Lannyte would look better with my particular setting than Moissanite. He even let me look at both outside in the sunlight to compare.

In the end, my rings were the right balance of price and style for us. It's still the most expensive thing I own (other than my car), which makes H happy, but I was also comfortable with the amount spent, even if it was a little more than what I originally had in mind.

skepticals

@lela1979: BF and I are also in California and Ive noticed the prices at big stores are very high, as are little family owned ones. We went to Shane Co to look since their commercials are everywhere and we've heard great things from friends, and we found a diamond that was .86 that I loved for just above 2k. The setting I liked was around $600, so I always recommend them to fellow Californians.

JessicaJupiter

My fiance hasn't spent anything on my engagement ring, his mother gave him her old one from her broken marriage to propose to me with. Even then, this ring is only worth about $40 tops. It isn't real diamonds but people think it is a real ring and give me plenty of attention over it.

I am happy he didn't spend anything on it as the money could go a long way in the wedding. For example, for us we are happy with getting cheaper Tungsten rings which will end up being $200-$400 combined for beautiful wedding bands for both of us, compare that to couples who spend over $1000 on just the bride's wedding ring alone!

I would say it is only worth it to spend a lot if (a) money isn't the deciding factor and (b) the ring was purchased as the set and can be used as your wedding ring as well.

leia1979

@PrincessTinyFeet ShaneCo was where the guy brought out the itty bitty $4k diamond. They were really resistant to my statement of wanting moissanite. One guy even said I'd have to buy two in case they broke one. In the end, I went with a local jeweler who supported my non-diamond wishes.

I wasn't trying to imply that jewelry costs any more here than anywhere else. It's just that even though houses are $500k plus, I didn't want H spending $5k on jewelry.

skepticals

Thats weird! They were really friendly and knowledgable at the one I went to. They probably don't know a huge amount about moissanite, I dont think they carry it. As for the price, I don't know why it would be so expensive for a small diamond! Thats definitely what I've experienced from them!

doubleSS07

@jessicajupiter - you can get a tungsten ring on Amazon for $19.99 plus shipping.  That's where we got my H's ring and he loves it.  It's a comfort fit and it looks great.  Don't bother buying one of the $300 ones at the mall jewelry stores.

@leia1979 & @PrincessTinyFeet - We bought my ring in CA too and while I have no idea if the diamond prices are higher because of location, I do have to agree that even ShaneCo. was too expensive for what we wanted.  My same ring would have been around $6K from them.  They were nice enough but there was no budging on their prices.  We shopped several local jewelers as well as looking at jared, etc. and we found we got more for our money in SF at the jewelry mart.

lauracutter

If you are looking at diamonds, keep in mind that certain cuts are more expensive than others.  My mom happened to have a few old pieces of family jewelry with diamonds in her safety deposit box, so all my Fi had to pay for was the setting.  The center stone of my ring is round cut 1.64 carats H color VS2 clarity and appraised for around $17,000. If you consider other cuts you can get a lot more bang for your buck (on blue nile an oval cut 1.84 carats same color and clarity is around $8,000). Ask both families if they have diamonds sitting around (it happens), because there is no shame in a free diamond.  My Fi wouldn't have been able to afford anything close to what my mom gave us.  He did splurge a little on the setting by custom designing it and setting it in platinum.  I think he paid 2500 total.  It's perfect: I don't feel guilty about how much he spent, but I still have an incredible ring.   

lauracutter

ShallowSeas

I don't have my ring yet, but I was told last weekend by my BF that his parents had recently given him his grandmother's engagement and he was planning on using the diamond from that and buying a setting for it. His budget for the setting is $2000...honestly, I would be perfectly fine if he proposed with the $100 sapphire ring I saw at Kay Jewelers. I told him this but he insists on getting me something a little more expensive since its something I will have the rest of my life. I wouldn't care if it was a $50 CZ ring; the fact that he loves me enough to WANT to buy me a ring and spend the rest of his life with me is enough.

Blackbird230

For anyone looking for nerdy/amazing custom rings: BF just sent me the link to this guy. He's also on FB. 

Paul Michaels Design

Shiroyasha

It would be nice to have a super fancy ring, but honestly, I'd really rather it not be pricey.  I don't want to have a target on my hand.  Plus I can think of a thousand other things I would rather spend the money on. Besides, I'd be disappointed if he spent even a month's salary on  a ring.  We have better things to spend the money on, like bills and whatnot.

 I would tell BF yes no matter what he proposed with.  In fact, I don't need a ring or I'd be fine with using one of the old rings he got me as an engagement ring.

bride2b71614

I enjoy family heirlooms. I think it adds a special factor to the ring (especially if there is significant family history behind it ie holocaust survivors, a loving successful marriage between two people and having their ring passed through generations). Unfortunately my FI and I don't have heirloom rings in our families. I don't think there should be a traditional "price cap" (ie spending one/two months salary) on a ring. I think that budget and pricing should be up to you and your partner in terms of how much you are willing to spend comfortably as a couple. Through some research, my FI found ways to make a ring with the same qualities we wanted (we liked bezel settings *his mom has that setting, so does mine*, rose gold, and an untraditional stone), for less. For example, shying away from chain jewelry stores, purchasing the stone and the setting separately, finding a jeweler who can design something within your budget etc., will allow you to receive what you want at a significantly reduced price. I was just happy that I found the man that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

CLoGreenEyes

bride2b71614 said: I don't think there should be a traditional "price cap" (ie spending one/two months salary) on a ring. I think that budget and pricing should be up to you and your partner in terms of how much you are willing to spend comfortably as a couple. 



This times a million. I was so irritated at work the other day. We were talking about engagement rings, and one of the ladies I work with was saying, "You don't want anything but a huge diamond! You're going to be taking your babies to pre-school in a few years and all the other moms will judge you for anything smaller or cheaper!" Yeah, if that's the case, they need to find something else to do other than worry about what I wear on my hand. Honestly, it makes no difference to anyone else what kind of ring BF proposes with or how much he spends, and it is laughable to me that it would ever be a topic of discussion.

bride2b71614

@amapola14, I was reading your post while drinking water. I almost sprayed the computer. People are so strange...I'd think that moms with children in preschool would be too tired to give a flying fuck as to whats on your finger when they walk child into preschool. Rather, they'd be focused on what they packed in their child's lunch, whether or not it adheres to the school's peanut regulations, and how they are going to juggle everything for that day. I just can't see it happening in that setting, I mean, maaaybe if one of the mothers came into the preschool every morning, child in tow, saying look at my ring, bling bling bitches, I am the ultimate mother because my husband loves me so much that he got me this giant ass ring, and everyone applauded, I'd figure that would be a situation in which people would care about the size of a ring (and I'd yank my kid out of that school and stop socializing with those parents immediately if that shit went down). I mean, I get it, maybe getting judged by the size of the ring flies in a suburban area in which there are country clubs where a few of its members (not all) have nothing better to do other than look down on others and equate how much someone loves you with the size of a material object...then yeah, maybe she's right about how people are going to care. :P

CLoGreenEyes

@bride2b71614, haha, yeah, that is unfortunately the kind of area I live in. I don't get it: people around here are incredibly fortunate to have beautiful homes, safe neighborhoods, and good schools - isn't that enough? It turns the opportunity to have nice things into something ugly. My BF doesn't work his ass off to impress anybody else; he does it because he wants to provide for us and be able to do things that really matter to us, like taking fun vacations and buying a house someday. I really don't give a damn about the bling; it is just a pretty symbol of our commitment.

lilyandsparrow

For me I just started a business, have a baby, we're getting licensed to foster-to-adopt, and hoping to purchase our next home soon..and I'm into volunteer work and scraping together/forgoing luxuries to donate to global humanitarian organizations. When I was in my teens, I definitely was into designers and expensive things and dreamed about the huge rock I'd someday have. I'm 24 but I'm a completely different person now that I'm aware about the state of the rest of the world, and I'm highly against spending money frivolously/on myself and realize that in the end shiny things are totally meaningless. I would be livid if my boyfriend spent more than $1000 tops on a ring.. he's got a loose diamond my grandmother had and I asked him not to spend more than $500 on a solitaire setting. If we didn't have that, I would have suggested a vintage topaz, sapphire, etc. I used to have $300-900 purses.. the one I use right now cost $8. Last month I sent $1000 to help Syrian refugees. It's crazy how priorities change over time. I love the ring pop idea!

katieg520

I find there's too much competition between ladies about their rings. Honestly, who cares what anyone else's looks like or how much he spent. As long as you like it and are proud to wear it, don't pay any attention to others' opinions. Besides, when people ask to see the ring when you're engaged, they're gonna be all "oohhhh" an "ahhhh" over it regardless. Get what you can afford!

maybebabytx

Does anyone know anything about purchasing diamonds from Sam's Club? My BF took me ring shopping to find out what kind of ring I like and of course I told some friends of mine about it. Two of my friends who are older than I and obviously know more about jewelry than I do, strongly urged me to suggest BF go to Sams for a diamond. He hates the idea of buying an ering from "Walmart" but my friends seem to believe their diamonds are amazing quality and cannot beat the prices. I know absolutely NADA about diamonds or jewelry. BF and I are both on the same page that it's an investment and he wants to buy me a very nice, traditional ring but I am worried about being ripped off. Just thought I would see if anyone else had any opinions on Sam's Club diamonds.

As for the main point of this post, I think the price is an extremely personal decision. I shudder at the stories of vanity that some of PP have experienced. My only rule is to get something that you can afford. The ring is the step one, with a wedding, honeymoon, home, and LIFE to follow. So, be wise. It just sucks that people have to use the eringto judge his love for her or social status or how wealthy the couple is. Smh

mdupon70997

@Kait It was cheaper than the one she wanted.

thejucheidea

My husband spent $600 getting my heirloom ring reset in white gold, but the pre-reset appraisal was around $4000.