Why is it so hard to understand.....

antibride2013

It is RUDE to ASK for MONEY!!!  All these newbies posting the same question over and over-

Honeymoon registry=ASKING FOR MONEY=RUDE!!!!

I am about to have "IT IS RUDE TO ASK FOR MONEY" translated into every known language, because obviously these entitled newbies don't understand english!!! 

Jesus people......

Xstatic3333

I'm really starting to think its a conspiracy from a bunch of Honeyfund interns or something.

KeptInStitches

Ya know, I do try to be nice. I'm going to have to type up a sugary sweet response so I have it ready for the next honeyfund poster because otherwise there's going to be no way I can continue to be polite, let alone nice.

Phew. Got that out of my system.

bethsmiles

So wait is it rude to ask my parents when they are gonna hand over the cash for my wedding? (sarcasm)

APDSS22

That's why I haven't been posting on those threads.  The newbs make me want to throw things and I can't afford to replace my laptop right now...

daveANDkristen

"But we already live together and we don't need anything!"

Then don't fucking register.

HM Registries are stupid.  I don't care who the couple is, I would not filter my cash gift to them through a HM Registry.  There is absolutely no benefit to doing a HM Registry over saying "we are saving for a honeymoon".  None.  They are pointless and do not benefit the giver or the couple in any way.  Die trend.

mommapizano

Seriously...people seem to think their circumstances are special and warrant them to be rude and ask for money. Like we are moving, we are broke, we are both students, we can't afford a honeymoon, we already have everything we need, etc, etc.

Maybe people can use the search function to avoid themselves the embarrassment of feeling they have to go back and delete their original posts or threaten to leave TK forever.  

NYCBruin

But everyone LOVES the idea! None of my guests would be offended!

Can we add: YOU CAN'T READ MINDS to this list.

misshart00

I am genuinely curious about the people who say their friends and family think it's a great idea. Do those friends know that it just sends you a check minus fees? No one answers my question when I ask. And most brides dont even understand how they work. I would have way less of a problem with them if the company actually booked stuff, so Aunt Sally actually bought you the candlelit dinner.

Xstatic3333

My least favorite argument is "I would rather give the couple a fun experience than a toaster they don't need." Just don't register! Argh!

NYCBruin

Xstatic3333 said:

My least favorite argument is "I would rather give the couple a fun experience than a toaster they don't need." Just don't register! Argh!

But the only two options for wedding gifts are toasters and honeymoon fund donations!

It's like no one knows how to write a check.

misshart00

My least favorite argument is "I would rather give the couple a fun experience than a toaster they don't need." Just don't register! Argh!

Then call the hotel and set it up.

antibride2013

Exactly NYCBruin! Everyone LOVES the idea! And absolutely no one is talking behind their backs on how class-less these brides are! Whatever.

mommapizano

misshart00 I have wondered that too! Do guests know what they are buying into? If I found out after the fact that it really was not for an experience and that the couple doesn't get the full benefit of my money, I would be upset. 

It may sound like a cute idea if you don't know the reality of how it works. 

Maggie0829

misshart00 said:

I am genuinely curious about the people who say their friends and family think it's a great idea. Do those friends know that it just sends you a check minus fees? No one answers my question when I ask. And most brides dont even understand how they work. I would have way less of a problem with them if the company actually booked stuff, so Aunt Sally actually bought you the candlelit dinner.

My friend did a HM registry.  I cringed at it but one of her close girl friends bought her some experience thing from it.  Neither the bride nor the friend knew how it worked.  The friend thought she had bought this experience (meaning bought it and it was booked) for the couple.  Come wedding day both she and the bride were discussing it as we were getting ready and the bride said "Yeah, all I received was a check.  Nothing was booked."  The friends response, "What the fuck?!  Well if I had known that I would have just given you the check so that I didn't have to pay a dumb fee."

Brides, please educate yourself on these so called amazing registries.  They aren't as grand you think.  As you can see from my example, your guests will still give you the money even if you don't have the icky HM registry.

misshart00

Maggie0829 said:

misshart00 said:

I am genuinely curious about the people who say their friends and family think it's a great idea. Do those friends know that it just sends you a check minus fees? No one answers my question when I ask. And most brides dont even understand how they work. I would have way less of a problem with them if the company actually booked stuff, so Aunt Sally actually bought you the candlelit dinner.

My friend did a HM registry.  I cringed at it but one of her close girl friends bought her some experience thing from it.  Neither the bride nor the friend knew how it worked.  The friend thought she had bought this experience (meaning bought it and it was booked) for the couple.  Come wedding day both she and the bride were discussing it as we were getting ready and the bride said "Yeah, all I received was a check.  Nothing was booked."  The friends response, "What the fuck?!  Well if I had known that I would have just given you the check so that I didn't have to pay a dumb fee."

Brides, please educate yourself on these so called amazing registries.  They aren't as grand you think.  As you can see from my example, your guests will still give you the money even if you don't have the icky HM registry.

Can you imagine being the bride when you don't understand how it works? You go and check into your fabulous hotel for your honeymoon and ask when your swimming with the dolphins excursion is or when your dinner on the beacn is and the hotel looks at you like you're crazy. And you can't book any of these because you never cashed out your registry. So it's just sitting there in your honey fund account while you can only sit in your hotel room and eat pizza.

Dreamergirl8812

My new biggest pet peeve is "We're paying for the wedding ourselves, so..."

This has absolutely no bearing on this conversation. Everyone has a budget; host accordingly whether you or your parents are paying.

APDSS22

NYCBruin said:

My least favorite argument is "I would rather give the couple a fun experience than a toaster they don't need." Just don't register! Argh!

But the only two options for wedding gifts are toasters and honeymoon fund donations! It's like no one knows how to write a check.

Unless they live with the couple, how could they be sure they don't sit around making 207 pieces of toast at the same time?  Maybe they DO need that many toasters...

GypsyWife_

Wait, Why don't I know you?

monkeysip

Other than the obvious etiquette faux pas... I just don't get honeymoon registries.

The most expensive part of a honeymoon is the airfare and hotel, not the stupid couples massages and swimming with dolphins excursions.  If you can afford all the really expensive parts of your honeymoon (airfare, hotel, food), then why are you so worried about all the little extras?  I just hate it when girls are like "we'd rather be able to have the honeymoon of our dreams instead of useless stuff".

Umm... you still have to pay for the bulk of the honeymoon.  The only thing your guests can really contribute to on a honeymoon registry is really more of the "useless" stuff like bottles of champagne and parasailing lessons.

misshart00

monkeysip said:

Other than the obvious etiquette faux pas... I just don't get honeymoon registries.

The most expensive part of a honeymoon is the airfare and hotel, not the stupid couples massages and swimming with dolphins excursions.  If you can afford all the really expensive parts of your honeymoon (airfare, hotel, food), then why are you so worried about all the little extras?  I just hate it when girls are like "we'd rather be able to have the honeymoon of our dreams instead of useless stuff".

Umm... you still have to pay for the bulk of the honeymoon.  The only thing your guests can really contribute to on a honeymoon registry is really more of the "useless" stuff like bottles of champagne and parasailing lessons.

I saw one awhile back that even asked for money for passports. They really need to do that long before the honeymoon.

phira

NYCBruin said:

My least favorite argument is "I would rather give the couple a fun experience than a toaster they don't need." Just don't register! Argh!

But the only two options for wedding gifts are toasters and honeymoon fund donations! It's like no one knows how to write a check.

YES exactly. Write a damn check.

LizM61409

I don't understand why people are so offended when they get responses that don't agree with whatever they're asking about. You asked a bunch of strangers on the internet their opinion... you're pretty much guaranteed to get some you don't like. Then the OP gets all defensive about their wonderful idea (honeyfund, tiered reception, whatever).

If you think your crappy idea is so awesome that you're gonna do it regardless of what other people think THEN WHY DID YOU ASK IN THE FIRST PLACE

NYCBruin

monkeysip said:

Other than the obvious etiquette faux pas... I just don't get honeymoon registries.

The most expensive part of a honeymoon is the airfare and hotel, not the stupid couples massages and swimming with dolphins excursions.  If you can afford all the really expensive parts of your honeymoon (airfare, hotel, food), then why are you so worried about all the little extras?  I just hate it when girls are like "we'd rather be able to have the honeymoon of our dreams instead of useless stuff".

Umm... you still have to pay for the bulk of the honeymoon.  The only thing your guests can really contribute to on a honeymoon registry is really more of the "useless" stuff like bottles of champagne and parasailing lessons.

You stop it with those logical questions!

I also don't understand why people insist on them after multiple people explain that they will likely get LESS cash by doing one since people like me who always give cash will end up giving a physical gift that cost less than what I would have otherwise given.

Swazzle

But you guys... Everyone deserves a honeymoon. 

Xstatic3333

NYCBruin said:

monkeysip said:

Other than the obvious etiquette faux pas... I just don't get honeymoon registries.

The most expensive part of a honeymoon is the airfare and hotel, not the stupid couples massages and swimming with dolphins excursions.  If you can afford all the really expensive parts of your honeymoon (airfare, hotel, food), then why are you so worried about all the little extras?  I just hate it when girls are like "we'd rather be able to have the honeymoon of our dreams instead of useless stuff".

Umm... you still have to pay for the bulk of the honeymoon.  The only thing your guests can really contribute to on a honeymoon registry is really more of the "useless" stuff like bottles of champagne and parasailing lessons.

You stop it with those logical questions!

I also don't understand why people insist on them after multiple people explain that they will likely get LESS cash by doing one since people like me who always give cash will end up giving a physical gift that cost less than what I would have otherwise given.

Clearly because their real friends and family will just buy off the Honeyfund if they truly care about them. Duh. Their families aren't snobby like all of us.

Salsera29

Well at least after we went on our honeymoon I understood why people like the IDEA of them. We hardly did any excursions (one day trip to Chichen Itza, one swimming with dolphins, one cab ride to and from Playa del Carmen) and we spent close to $1000 over our "all-inclusive" package. 

That being said, they are still rude. 

NYCBruin

Xstatic3333 said:

NYCBruin said:

monkeysip said:

Other than the obvious etiquette faux pas... I just don't get honeymoon registries.

The most expensive part of a honeymoon is the airfare and hotel, not the stupid couples massages and swimming with dolphins excursions.  If you can afford all the really expensive parts of your honeymoon (airfare, hotel, food), then why are you so worried about all the little extras?  I just hate it when girls are like "we'd rather be able to have the honeymoon of our dreams instead of useless stuff".

Umm... you still have to pay for the bulk of the honeymoon.  The only thing your guests can really contribute to on a honeymoon registry is really more of the "useless" stuff like bottles of champagne and parasailing lessons.

You stop it with those logical questions!

I also don't understand why people insist on them after multiple people explain that they will likely get LESS cash by doing one since people like me who always give cash will end up giving a physical gift that cost less than what I would have otherwise given.

Clearly because their real friends and family will just buy off the Honeyfund if they truly care about them. Duh. Their families aren't snobby like all of us.

True story. I always forget that I'm a snob and that my friends and family don't REALLY love me because otherwise they wouldn't be offended by anything I did.

Salsera29

NYCBruin said:

Other than the obvious etiquette faux pas... I just don't get honeymoon registries.

The most expensive part of a honeymoon is the airfare and hotel, not the stupid couples massages and swimming with dolphins excursions.  If you can afford all the really expensive parts of your honeymoon (airfare, hotel, food), then why are you so worried about all the little extras?  I just hate it when girls are like "we'd rather be able to have the honeymoon of our dreams instead of useless stuff".

Umm... you still have to pay for the bulk of the honeymoon.  The only thing your guests can really contribute to on a honeymoon registry is really more of the "useless" stuff like bottles of champagne and parasailing lessons.

You stop it with those logical questions! I also don't understand why people insist on them after multiple people explain that they will likely get LESS cash by doing one since people like me who always give cash will end up giving a physical gift that cost less than what I would have otherwise given.

Clearly because their real friends and family will just buy off the Honeyfund if they truly care about them. Duh. Their families aren't snobby like all of us.

True story. I always forget that I'm a snob and that my friends and family don't REALLY love me because otherwise they wouldn't be offended by anything I did.

Haha, I guess our friends and family don't really love us because they just gave us impersonal checks. Which we then spent (some) on honeymoon excursions :-) Funny how that works...

climbingsingle

My friend did a honeymoon registry for her second wedding. 

It's gets better. 

I had fully planned on donating a small amount by calling up her travel agent as per the directions included in her shower invite. A few days before the shower, I was notified by my bank that there were fraudulent charges on my account. I had to wait to be reimbursed money and to have a new card issued. The shower was on a Saturday and I still hadn't been able to donate towards their fund. The day after the shower, the bride called me to see why I hadn't donated. I'm not even kidding. She called me and said, "Hey, I just got a print out from the travel agent and your name wasn't on the list." Yeah. 

Salsera29

ClimbingBrideNY said:

My friend did a honeymoon registry for her second wedding. 

It's gets better. 

I had fully planned on donating a small amount by calling up her travel agent as per the directions included in her shower invite. A few days before the shower, I was notified by my bank that there were fraudulent charges on my account. I had to wait to be reimbursed money and to have a new card issued. The shower was on a Saturday and I still hadn't been able to donate towards their fund. The day after the shower, the bride called me to see why I hadn't donated. I'm not even kidding. She called me and said, "Hey, I just got a print out from the travel agent and your name wasn't on the list." Yeah. 

Holy hell. What did you say? Did you end up giving her a gift?