Wedding Etiquette Forum
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Welcome totes

For the guests staying at our reserved hotel we are providing them with welcome totes.

Do we need to provide welcomes totes for those that do not staying there? We are having a destination wedding and have provided everyone with 12 months advanced notice and hotel information.

Re: Welcome totes

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    greeniemd said:
    For the guests staying at our reserved hotel we are providing them with welcome totes. Do we need to provide welcomes totes for those that do not staying there? We are having a destination wedding and have provided everyone with 12 months advanced notice and hotel information.

    Personally, I would just skip these. Every guest is presumably traveling and staying overnight, and it's not efficient or polite to track down where each is staying. Giving them just to those who are staying in the "reserved" hotel seems a bit too exclusive for me.

    Since it appears you have the money in your budget, why not just have a fancier favor or add an "extra" to your reception (dessert bar, late night snacks, upgraded liquor package, etc)?


     

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    I agree with itzMS.  If everyone was staying at the same hotel it would be different, but some of your guests shouldn't be "punished" just because they didn't stay at your reserved hotel.  KWIM?

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    I'm going to a wedding next month and I'm not staying at the hotel that the bride and groom reserved. It wouldn't bother me if the people that stayed there got welcome bags because I chose not to stay there. It would make me a little uncomfortable if the bride or groom tracked me down and asked me what hotel I was staying at because then I would feel like I needed to explain to them why we didn't stay at the hotel they chose which isn't really a conversation I want to have. 

    If you want to do them, I would just do them for the people staying at the hotel you reserved. Nobody should expect you to find out where they're staying if it isn't there to give them a welcome bag.
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    I'd just skip them.  Trying to put them together for more than one hotel just seems more trouble than it's worth.
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    I'm going to a wedding next month and I'm not staying at the hotel that the bride and groom reserved. It wouldn't bother me if the people that stayed there got welcome bags because I chose not to stay there. It would make me a little uncomfortable if the bride or groom tracked me down and asked me what hotel I was staying at because then I would feel like I needed to explain to them why we didn't stay at the hotel they chose which isn't really a conversation I want to have. 

    If you want to do them, I would just do them for the people staying at the hotel you reserved. Nobody should expect you to find out where they're staying if it isn't there to give them a welcome bag.


    But then you run into the issue guests talking. Likely a destination wedding is quite small.

    Aunt Sally (staying at host hotel): "Judy, did you try the lovely wine provided by Bride and Groom in the hotel room?

    Aunt Judy (staying across the street at Motel 6 because she couldn't afford the swanky host hotel): "We didn't get any wine..."

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    itzMS said:
    I'm going to a wedding next month and I'm not staying at the hotel that the bride and groom reserved. It wouldn't bother me if the people that stayed there got welcome bags because I chose not to stay there. It would make me a little uncomfortable if the bride or groom tracked me down and asked me what hotel I was staying at because then I would feel like I needed to explain to them why we didn't stay at the hotel they chose which isn't really a conversation I want to have. 

    If you want to do them, I would just do them for the people staying at the hotel you reserved. Nobody should expect you to find out where they're staying if it isn't there to give them a welcome bag.


    But then you run into the issue guests talking. Likely a destination wedding is quite small.

    Aunt Sally (staying at host hotel): "Judy, did you try the lovely wine provided by Bride and Groom in the hotel room?

    Aunt Judy (staying across the street at Motel 6 because she couldn't afford the swanky host hotel): "We didn't get any wine..."

    I guess I didn't think about it like that. I'm in the opposite situation. We chose a nicer hotel than the bride and groom picked and I would hate for them to ask us where we were staying because I wouldn't want them to think we didn't like the hotel they picked. LOL I can definitely see how it could work the other way too though. 
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    We are doing bags for our guests but we know for a fact that everyone who needs a hotel used our block. We are having a small wedding and all the other people live closer by, within reasonable driving distance. 

    I had considered what I would do if people stayed all over the place, and I was planning on skipping it if it was too spread out. Seemed like a big hassle for me to travel all around town to give people a bag with some snacks and water. 

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    Skip the welcome totes - your guests won't be expecting one anyway, and it's one less thing for you to worry about.
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    Skip the totes. We got one of these once. We didn't use a single thing in it. Honestly, most of these are like bridesmaid "survival" kits with a bunch of things I wont ever touch. 

    If you want to make your guests feel welcome, save the money for reception upgrades or a hosted brunch the morning after the wedding. 
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    Skip the welcome totes - your guests won't be expecting one anyway, and it's one less thing for you to worry about.
    This
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    We are doing welcome bags for our hotel block as well. It has all the wedding info as well as Boston touristy info. I think we will be putting in some bottled water and other travel size stuff.
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    I,too, think you should skip them. I've only been to a wedding with them once and half if the things got left behind because we arrived late Friday, the whole day sat was wedding related, and then Sunday we had to leave to catch a plane so any drinks couldn't be brought on. I'm also perfectly fine with drinking tap water though. Splurge on something else for all of your guests instead.

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    That is the direction I'm leaning toward. I have done really great stuffers as well as the reusable tote I had art work created for! It's good to hear a guests point of view. Thank you
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    Our wedding is in Key West and I have a nice beach towel, bottle water, Gatorade, sunblock, Chapstick, "do not disturb" thing, luggage tag, Key West map, key lime cookies, and a few other small things...all good things in my opinion and ones that can definitely be used.
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    greeniemd said:
    Our wedding is in Key West and I have a nice beach towel, bottle water, Gatorade, sunblock, Chapstick, "do not disturb" thing, luggage tag, Key West map, key lime cookies, and a few other small things...all good things in my opinion and ones that can definitely be used.

    You already bought the items not knowing how many you'd need?!

    If you're really including all of these things, then you need to find a way to get one to EVERYONE.

    Can you give them out at the reception?

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    We haven't purchased everything just yet but we have a limit of 60 guests. We have a good idea of who is coming so I know what I need and any extras I'm okay with. Originally I was thinking just the hotel guests and I still plan to have those delivered to their rooms but I'm going to have one of my bridesmaids be the contact person and guests staying elsewhere and would like to have a tote can come pick them up. They are pretty cool looking and will have some nice useful things. Your comments have been helpful.
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    I actually posted this question months ago and the answer is No. We are in the same situation. We are only giving a lot of 50 welcome totes to the hotel we reserved.
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    A simple welcome bag with some snacks I think is fine for just the reserved hotel(s), but since yours is more elaborate I'd get them to everyone somehow. I do think your gifts sound nice!
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    The past few weddings I've gone to they have been handed out at the rehearsal dinner for all out of town guests
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    kgd7357kgd7357 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited September 2013
    I love welcome totes! Even if they are just a baggie with some trail mix and water bottles. We plan to give them to the people that stay at the two hotels we blocked. We are putting in cab and metro vouchers too with an area attractions map to help people get around town before the wedding. I would never exepect to get a welcome tote if I wasn't staying at the blocked hotel. I wouldn't be offended.
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    I'm also doing gift bags and I'm in the same situation... I'm having a small destination wedding (65 people) but all had to travel.  I asked everyone where they were staying and FI and I are going to bring welcome bags to every hotel where our guests are staying (about 40 are in one hotel, then the others are scattered).  When people are paying a lot to attend a destination wedding, I think it's a nice gesture.  
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