Is the money dance tacky? Groom wants to do it to raise money for a honeymoon.

southernbelle0915

cap816 said:

Actually, KnotPorscha why don't you go ahead and delete my account.  An etiquette board that approves of name calling isn't a 'community' in which I'm interested in continuing to participate.

This post reeks of AW and reminds me of a child screaming that they're running away. Ok fine - see ya! If you really want your account deleted, just PM KP and don't make a scene. 

Your post about Gypsy's vow renewal is degrading, perpetuates negative stereotypes about her culture, and added absolutely nothing to the conversation. What you're saying is the reason for deleting your account is exactly what you did. Pot meet kettle. See ya cap.

cruffino

melbelleup said:

cruffino said:

daria24 said:

I come from a culture where the dollar dance is common. It doesn't really bother me when I see it, and I participate, but I didn't want one at my own wedding. In my circle, it's an "excuse" for each guest to have a moment to dance & talk to the bride/groom. H grew up only about 80 miles from where I did, but he had never heard of or seen a dollar dance. When I explained the custom to him he was pretty aghast at the concept.

I think announcing that you are "fundraising" for your honeymoon would be tacky-your guests already have purchased a gift, and the announcement would be hitting them up further. And you most likely wouldn't get enough anyway.  The times I've seen the dollar dance in my circle, most people put in $1, sometimes $5. But the couple usually only gets $100 or so. 

This. I'm having one, but I'm not doing it for the money but so I can dance with every guest and talk to them one on one.

You can dance and talk with your guests without dollar bills involved. It's called a reception.

Right, but this way guests know they can dance with me and the groom (especially the older guests), like I said, I'm not doing the money part, just the dance part. Just going to be a bridal dance with shots if they want them.

thanks for clarifying. i missed that. my bad.

Salsera29

cmelliott said:

Salsera29 said:

GypsyWife_ said:

GypsyWife_ said:

It sounds like smelly it.

How classless. But I guess what can you expect from someone whose "wedding" is in itself a breach of etiquette?

Hey, newbs who think the regs are "mean" and "rude?" Here is an example of mean and rude. Two of them.  

there are other examples of the regs as well.

I apologize, I need to clarify. The statements were nasty. I'm making no judgments on the posters. 

southernbelle0915

cap816 said:

southernbelle0915 said:

cap816 said:

Actually, KnotPorscha why don't you go ahead and delete my account.  An etiquette board that approves of name calling isn't a 'community' in which I'm interested in continuing to participate.

This post reeks of AW and reminds me of a child screaming that they're running away. Ok fine - see ya! If you really want your account deleted, just PM KP and don't make a scene. 

Your post about Gypsy's vow renewal is degrading, perpetuates negative stereotypes about her culture, and added absolutely nothing to the conversation. What you're saying is the reason for deleting your account is exactly what you did. Pot meet kettle. See ya cap.

This is complete crap.  I have absolutely nothing against her culture, or their stance against traditional American weddings.  What I disagree with is her having a PPD, and her using her culture as a excuse to make it okay.

Also, I'm not new here.  I actually wrote you a really long and detailed description of how my H and I planned and organized our station-style wedding (per your request), when you were attacked a few months ago for having open seating.  A message that I took time out of my day to write, suggestions and advice I never even got a thank you for.  You're welcome by the way.

I know your old SN and I did thank you for networking with me on how our reception styles were similar. Several times actually. To say you weren't thanked is completely untrue. Also broadcasting the content of our PMs is against TOS, but I'm not going to run and page KP. 

Our PMs regarding our similar reception styles have absolutely NOTHING to do with the fact that I think what you said here on THIS thread to/about Gypsy was mean and uncalled for. You "took time out of your day" to call her out for being rude to someone while at the same time being rude to her. It makes no sense and is the definition of hypocrisy.

MuppetOverlord

Lobster1987 said:

 

It's all I got. This just got dumber and dumber.

Lobster, I absolutely "loved" that

MuppetOverlord

cap816 said:

Actually, KnotPorscha why don't you go ahead and delete my account.  An etiquette board that approves of name calling isn't a 'community' in which I'm interested in continuing to participate.

Bye!

MuppetOverlord

I should be tagged regarding all Muppet related activity as the Muppet Overlord and all.

MuppetOverlord

Very well, very well!  That's my love it.

Dreamergirl8812

I have nothing to add except that I found an excuse to use this GIF.

Jen4948

melbelleup said:

cruffino said:

daria24 said:

I come from a culture where the dollar dance is common. It doesn't really bother me when I see it, and I participate, but I didn't want one at my own wedding. In my circle, it's an "excuse" for each guest to have a moment to dance & talk to the bride/groom. H grew up only about 80 miles from where I did, but he had never heard of or seen a dollar dance. When I explained the custom to him he was pretty aghast at the concept.

I think announcing that you are "fundraising" for your honeymoon would be tacky-your guests already have purchased a gift, and the announcement would be hitting them up further. And you most likely wouldn't get enough anyway.  The times I've seen the dollar dance in my circle, most people put in $1, sometimes $5. But the couple usually only gets $100 or so. 

This. I'm having one, but I'm not doing it for the money but so I can dance with every guest and talk to them one on one.

You can dance and talk with your guests without dollar bills involved. It's called a reception.

Right, but this way guests know they can dance with me and the groom (especially the older guests), like I said, I'm not doing the money part, just the dance part. Just going to be a bridal dance with shots if they want them.

Guests know this anyway.  If they want to dance with you, they can ask and you can accept or decline without money changing hands.

Dreamergirl8812

4Furrybabies

Dollar dance is also tradition in my family...though no one ever announces a purpose for the money. the dance just is. And usually, everyone is pretty well drunk by then. So no one really cares what you do with the money

MuppetOverlord

4Furrybabies said:

Dollar dance is also tradition in my family...though no one ever announces a purpose for the money. the dance just is. And usually, everyone is pretty well drunk by then. So no one really cares what you do with the money

This is all I can think of:

jennythorpe

Wow, it has been a few days since I've been on this site.  I'll answer a few questions to things I have read and then just leave it at that.  My post was about me not thinking the money dance was a good idea.  My finance was the one who wanted to do it.  Most people agreed with me so I was not upset in any way about the advice I was given as it pertains to the money dance.  I appreciate everyone who has given advice (agreeing or disagreeing) in a manner that is not rude or with an attitude.  The argument began, not about the advice itself but about some rude comments (the main one was deleted, I'm assuming by the writer).  There were also other comments pertaining to people being annoyed that the question was being asked again.  If you don't want to answer the question because you have seen it before, don't answer it.  I have only used this site a few times so I'm not a pro at it in terms of finding past similar posts and other logistics.  I also didn't know that we were suppose to respond to everyone who's advice we liked (in response to the person who said she gave me good advice that was agreeable to me and she didn't hear anything from me).  In terms of the honeymoon shower.  The shower was given to me by someone else.  She put it on, came up with the theme, etc.  All I did was show up.  Generally every shower these days has a theme (kitchen shower, lingerie shower, etc).  My theme was a honeymoon shower that was beach themed and people gave me tickets to attractions for the honeymoon town as well as things like lingerie, a shirt that says "mrs", flip flops, beach towels,  candles, etc.  The concept was to give things to "make the honeymoon better".   That could be interpreted however the guest wanted to.  Again, the shower itself was a gift to me that I didn't ask for.  Thank you to everyone who gave feedback on here and good luck to you all.

rebeccarene

My fiancé and I are from two different cultures, she is Mexican and I am Caucasian. I had never heard of a money dance when she brought it up, but she is very adamant that we have one at our wedding. I, at first was completely against it (because 1. It seems tacky 2. I don't want people putting holes in my dress with the pins). But it is something that is extremely important to her, and her culture. In that case, I think a money dance is fine- because she, and her family will be disappointed if it is not a part of our reception as that is a tradition in her culture. However, simply having a money dance just to make money- eh. It is ultimately up to you but if I were a guest, having never heard of a money dance before, I would be a little put off by it. And don't say it's for your honeymoon, the people who would participate in the dance would do so with or without the mention of the honeymoon and those who would not wouldn't anyway. Money dance?- Maybe, if you/your family/guests are comfortable with it......Mention of honeymoon?- I wouldn't. 

ei34

I wouldn't do a money dance and announce what it's for.  I mean, if a money dance is part of your culture and relatives always throw money at your family weddings than go for the dance, but don't announce why you're doing it.

In my family (Irish/Italian) and region (NYC), the guests give the new couple a cash gift at the wedding.  (Starting at $150/person, all the way up to the $1,000-5,000 range from very generous people.)  Hope this is the case for you- why not just use some of that money for your honeymoon? 

Sorry to hear about the plans falling through- best of luck and congrats on your wedding in advance!