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Etiquette

Cash Bars - Everything you need to know in one place

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Re: Cash Bars - Everything you need to know in one place

  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing Alaska member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    perdonami said:

    And I think drink tickets are ridiculous no matter what the occasion is.
    I do too.. I blame the guests mostly for being rude drunks at their company hosted party as it makes the company look bad. But, seriously drink tickets?? 
    The way I look at it is... I might be able to get in a drunken state off of two drinks, if I don't eat and drink something like LITs. And if my friend doesn't want to drink? I'll use her two tickets. And one of my date's ticket. Oh, there is one on the floor, I'll use that one. And my co-worker who has a long drive home, so he only wants one drink? I'll use his second ticket. Anyone else not drinking? Can't have those drink tickets going to waste....
    Tickets to stop drunk behavior isn't going to stop drunk behavior. It's only gunna make it more fun for the rest of us to see how many free drinks we can actually get by the end of the night lol.
    I was at a party where everyone got one ticket. A co-worker roamed around for most of the evening and ended up getting another drink ticket here, one there, etc. and ended up having eight or nine drinks through the course of the evening. There will always be people who don't drink and will give up their tickets.

    perdonamiSimply Fated
  • Yeah, I was the designated driver and since the bartender was kind enough to give me unlimited diet cokes all night, I  handed my tickets out to FI's friends. FI and said friends got pretty trashed but at least they weren't rude to the bartenders.
    Simply Fated
  • Recently, after discussing another couple's wedding details with them, I got to thinking about cash bars. 

    Is it rude for a bride to host an open but limited bar to just soft drinks and not have an any other alcohol available for purchase but have passing champagne flutes for toasts? 

    This champagne would not be available for purchase and only available during toasts. 
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    perdonami said:
    Recently, after discussing another couple's wedding details with them, I got to thinking about cash bars. 

    Is it rude for a bride to host an open but limited bar to just soft drinks and not have an any other alcohol available for purchase but have passing champagne flutes for toasts? 

    This champagne would not be available for purchase and only available during toasts. 

    This would be acceptable.
    LDay2014perdonamisouthernbelle0915ashley8918
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    perdonami said:
    Recently, after discussing another couple's wedding details with them, I got to thinking about cash bars. 

    Is it rude for a bride to host an open but limited bar to just soft drinks and not have an any other alcohol available for purchase but have passing champagne flutes for toasts? 

    This champagne would not be available for purchase and only available during toasts. 

    This would be acceptable.
  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 Exit 21 (Jersey!) member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    perdonami said:

    And I think drink tickets are ridiculous no matter what the occasion is.
    I do too.. I blame the guests mostly for being rude drunks at their company hosted party as it makes the company look bad. But, seriously drink tickets?? 
    We are having a corporate event next month.  I already heard we get 2 drink tickets.  It's all about the company capping the money they spend at the event.  There's always a fun, competitive side for people trying to get additional drink tickets from those that might not use one or both.  Point is, if someone wants to get drunk, they will.  Tickets won't stop them.
  • I think too many people decide they must serve a certain meal and have an open bar at X dollars per person, then decide how many people they can afford. 
    I agree with Miss Manners on this one...make the guest list, THEN decide what you can afford to
    feed them. If that is only cake and punch, so be it...it's an early afternoon wedding. If you can still afford a buffet and alcohol for the number on the list, then you do that. You should never cut people who ought to be invited due to budget. That's a way to end relationships.
    Think of it in terms of Thanksgiving. You know who needs to come and you know how much money you have to feed them. That budget determines whether you buy cheese and crackers or a shrimp platter for the appetizer.
    NYCBruinpinkshorts27perdonamicupcait927
  • MegEn1MegEn1 member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
    You will get reamed for it, Pengwinn. :P When I first started here, all of a month ago (or less), I held your opinion too. But having read a lot of the posts here - including some of those which were unnecessarily rude and snarky - I have altered my opinion a bit. I wouldn't want to throw a party on a wedding level without providing everything I could for my guests - be it a limited bar or whatever.

    BUT (and here's where I think I diverge from a lot of the group here) I don't condemn people who do it. To each their own. Some of the posts on this site equate a cash bar with spitting in your guests' food. To me, that seems over the top. At the end of the day, we're all here trying to plan our special day that will be remembered fondly by our loved ones. It's fine to point out etiquette breaches, but oh man, the vitriol.

    That said, I think this is a wonderfully informative sticky, and it definitely helped sway my opinion from 'who cares' to 'it's not what I would do for these reasons, but to each their own'.

    Achievement Unlocked: Survived Your Wedding! 
  • peachy13peachy13 in my cubicle, doing very important work member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    I've been to a few wedding receptions recently that were strictly cash bar. One was even a cash bar during the cocktail hour. I personally am going to have a full open bar at my wedding (our venue will actually probably lose money on us, considering the amount our guests drink), however I also do not condemn those who cannot provide an open bar. Sometimes it's just too much, especially considering couples who do not drink or who have many guests who do not drink.

    I will say though, that one of the weddings I went to with a cash bar was in very bad taste. The couple made it very clear that they were going on an extravagant honeymoon immediately following the wedding. So to many, it felt like they were putting themselves above their family and friends. In fact that's exactly what it was. If you are going to do something like that, or replace the possibility of an open bar with something else FOR YOURSELF, then just expect for all your guests to be bitching about your wedding behind your back. It will happen.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers


  • AddieCake said:
     I also do not condemn those who cannot provide an open bar. Sometimes it's just too much, especially considering couples who do not drink or who have many guests who do not drink.


    Nobody here condemns anyone who can't have an open bar. I am so tired of people misconstruing the concept of no CASH bar to mean have OPEN bar only. There are a variety of options in between the two extremes. Why is this so complicated?
    My assumption is that the bride/groom or hosts want to have alcohol for their wedding, as in they want to be able to personally consume alcohol on the day of their wedding, but don't want to pay for a an open bar because they can't afford it. 

    So, in order to fulfill their desires for their wedding day, they pass the cost onto their guests. So, instead of hosting something they can afford, they use the excuse, "well I can't afford to pay for everyone's alcohol.. Just my own." 
  • danamwdanamw member
    Third Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    The worst thing I ever heard happening at a wedding, was the drunken friends opening up cards on the gift table. To get money to spend at the cash bar.
    Liatris2010
  • JoanE2012 said:
    perdonami said:

    And I think drink tickets are ridiculous no matter what the occasion is.
    I do too.. I blame the guests mostly for being rude drunks at their company hosted party as it makes the company look bad. But, seriously drink tickets?? 
    We are having a corporate event next month.  I already heard we get 2 drink tickets.  It's all about the company capping the money they spend at the event.  There's always a fun, competitive side for people trying to get additional drink tickets from those that might not use one or both.  Point is, if someone wants to get drunk, they will.  Tickets won't stop them.

    SITB!

    Agreed it won't stop people from getting drunk- I have been that guy getting tickets handed to them left and right to the point of no return! BUT many companies do it for liability purposes. Some insurance companies for companies even require it. So I honestly don't see a big issue with tickets at company events as I see them as a necessary evil some are stuck with.
  • danamw said:
    The worst thing I ever heard happening at a wedding, was the drunken friends opening up cards on the gift table. To get money to spend at the cash bar.
    I don't know if I would call them "friends."
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