HELP I am the best mans girlfriend and have a problem

grumbledore

I'm surprised by a lot of the answers in this thread.  What happened to, "You should invite your guests significant others" especially if they are traveling and will be left alone.  It's not up to the BM and his girlfriend to rent a car or make special arrangements - it's up to the B&G to accommodate their guests and their partners.  It's incredibly rude for the couple to expect to split up the BM and his girlfriend, and even more rude because of the travel nightmare it's creating for them.

itzMS

grumbledore said:

I'm surprised by a lot of the answers in this thread.  What happened to, "You should invite your guests significant others" especially if they are traveling and will be left alone.  It's not up to the BM and his girlfriend to rent a car or make special arrangements - it's up to the B&G to accommodate their guests and their partners.  It's incredibly rude for the couple to expect to split up the BM and his girlfriend, and even more rude because of the travel nightmare it's creating for them.

I guess I don't see it that way, besides that the groom and best man staying the night together is ridiculous.

When DH and/or I have been in weddings, we aren't together on the day of until the reception. That's just how it works. Ladies get ready with the bride, Men get ready with the groom.

You'd suggest the OP tag along with the Best man and Groom the morning of the wedding?

 

Dreamergirl8812

grumbledore said:

I'm surprised by a lot of the answers in this thread.  What happened to, "You should invite your guests significant others" especially if they are traveling and will be left alone.  It's not up to the BM and his girlfriend to rent a car or make special arrangements - it's up to the B&G to accommodate their guests and their partners.  It's incredibly rude for the couple to expect to split up the BM and his girlfriend, and even more rude because of the travel nightmare it's creating for them.

If the bride was the one that started this thread I think the answers would have gone in a very different direction.

grumbledore

grumbledore said:

I'm surprised by a lot of the answers in this thread.  What happened to, "You should invite your guests significant others" especially if they are traveling and will be left alone.  It's not up to the BM and his girlfriend to rent a car or make special arrangements - it's up to the B&G to accommodate their guests and their partners.  It's incredibly rude for the couple to expect to split up the BM and his girlfriend, and even more rude because of the travel nightmare it's creating for them.

I guess I don't see it that way, besides that the groom and best man staying the night together is ridiculous.

When DH and/or I have been in weddings, we aren't together on the day of until the reception. That's just how it works. Ladies get ready with the bride, Men get ready with the groom.

You'd suggest the OP tag along with the Best man and Groom the morning of the wedding?

 

I've gone to a wedding where my SO was in the WP and I wasn't - we got together with a group of his friends in the morning and I hung out with them during the times he was needed for extra wedding stuff. But we traveled together, yes. And considering the distance this couple is travelling, that's even more expected. I just don't think it's reasonable for them to travel hours separately - I certainly wouldn't do it. And I would be annoyed if my BF was expected to sleep over the night before the wedding which makes no sense at all.

grumbledore

Dreamergirl8812 said:

grumbledore said:

I'm surprised by a lot of the answers in this thread.  What happened to, "You should invite your guests significant others" especially if they are traveling and will be left alone.  It's not up to the BM and his girlfriend to rent a car or make special arrangements - it's up to the B&G to accommodate their guests and their partners.  It's incredibly rude for the couple to expect to split up the BM and his girlfriend, and even more rude because of the travel nightmare it's creating for them.

If the bride was the one that started this thread I think the answers would have gone in a very different direction.

True, it's possible that the OP is going to have to embrace an annoying solution since she isn't in charge of the whole situation, but I would still put it on her boyfriend to talk to the groom about logistics.

schellzinator

I think the best option is to drive to the rehearsal dinner together and then you drive yourself home that night. You also have the option to show up when the ceremony is actually supposed to start opposed to having to entertain yourself while your boyfriend is doing the guy side of the wedding preparation.

In regards to what PP said about providing "friends" for you - that sounds a bit silly to me. But I guess it is personal preference. I went to a wedding with my now FI when we were dating at a location about 2 hours from where we lived. I drove up with him on Friday night and on Saturday morning I booked myself a tee time at the local golf course and got to get ready at my own pace.  Another SO of the GM tagged along with the GM all day - needless to say - the Groom wasn't very thrilled about that...

cowgirl8238

When my FI (then boyfriends) sister got married he was a party of the wedding party and I wasn't.  We both had to travel from Central PA to Long Island, its a four hour trip with tolls and gas there was no way we would be taking two cars!  But we both stayed togther at his mom's house for the weekend!  As far as the day of, I just hung around with his family members that weren't a part of the wedding during the ceremony and most of the cocktails, and then come the recpetion we were seated together.

In your situation I would talk to your boyfriend and figure out just how the weekend will work if you have to share a car.  I'm sure in if you just discuss how impractial everything is you will find a good solution.  Whether he gets a rie after the rehersal dinner or he decides to stay with you.  BTW the bride has no right to decide who sleeps where, she probably was just trying to be nice and didn't think everything through.

allispain

itzMS said:

grumbledore said:

I'm surprised by a lot of the answers in this thread.  What happened to, "You should invite your guests significant others" especially if they are traveling and will be left alone.  It's not up to the BM and his girlfriend to rent a car or make special arrangements - it's up to the B&G to accommodate their guests and their partners.  It's incredibly rude for the couple to expect to split up the BM and his girlfriend, and even more rude because of the travel nightmare it's creating for them.

I guess I don't see it that way, besides that the groom and best man staying the night together is ridiculous.

When DH and/or I have been in weddings, we aren't together on the day of until the reception. That's just how it works. Ladies get ready with the bride, Men get ready with the groom.

You'd suggest the OP tag along with the Best man and Groom the morning of the wedding?

 

I actually did this once, when DH was a GM. The groom was getting ready at home and the GM were invited to join him there. I tagged along (DH was my ride) - but I was invited to do so by the groom. I ended up helping the guys all get their bouts pinned on properly and entertaining the bride's 5 year old son - who was fussy because he was wearing fancy clothes that he didn't like. I was fine with it, the groom was fine with it, the bride was fine with it (she was glad to have someone keeping an eye on her son, since the groom and some of the GM were all having a drink or two before the ceremony).

ADH0906

Since everyone has pretty much covered the actual responses, I'd like to add a giant eyeroll at a bride asking a groomsman to stay with the groom the night before.  What are they going to do, have pillow fights and braid each other's hair?

A 10-year relationship is a long time though, so I'd find it weird if the OP wasn't seated with the family during the reception.