birth control

desertsun

Can I just give a shout out to FAM? That's Fertility Awareness Method. Charting your cycles and using condoms (or abstaining) around ovulation. I've successfully avoided getting pregnant when I didn't want to. 

loves2shop4shoes

desertsun said:

Can I just give a shout out to FAM? That's Fertility Awareness Method. Charting your cycles and using condoms (or abstaining) around ovulation. I've successfully avoided getting pregnant when I didn't want to. 

@desertsun, how long have you been using FAM?

I'm thinking of using FAM when I get off my Mirena.

leia1979

desertsun said:

Can I just give a shout out to FAM? That's Fertility Awareness Method. Charting your cycles and using condoms (or abstaining) around ovulation. I've successfully avoided getting pregnant when I didn't want to. 

Does that work for people with irregular cycles?

And that's entirely out of curiosity alone because I'd get a tubal if I didn't fear the return of debilitating periods. The more permanent, the better.

KeptInStitches

That was my thought too, @leia1979. Seems like you'd have to be really super regular for FAM to work.

desertsun

IMO, it is not necessary to have super regular cycles to use FAM to avoid pregnancy. It will help you become familiar with your cycles and know when you need to use a backup method/abstain and when it's safe not to. 

I have had cycles anywhere from 40+ days to 28 days. I've used charting to avoid conceiving when I didn't want to for about 18 of the last 36 months -- those other 18 months I was pregnant/nursing. I do also feel like charting was helpful in maximizing our chances of conception when we were trying. 

Usually with FAM/charting and irregular cycles, the downside would be using condoms/withdrawal until you're sure you've ovulated. Since cycles are irregular b/c of irregularities with ovulation, you might end up using condoms more than you'd like. 

I feel like there is always a cost/benefit analysis for any form of BC, and you just have to decide what's best for YOU.

I'd just encourage any woman to read TCOYF. You will be amazed to learn more about how your body works!

http://www.amazon.com/Taking-Charge-Your-Fertility-Anniversary/dp/0060881909

KeptInStitches

Thanks for the advice, desertsun.

CrazyCatLady3

desertsun said:

IMO, it is not necessary to have super regular cycles to use FAM to avoid pregnancy. It will help you become familiar with your cycles and know when you need to use a backup method/abstain and when it's safe not to. 

I have had cycles anywhere from 40+ days to 28 days. I've used charting to avoid conceiving when I didn't want to for about 18 of the last 36 months -- those other 18 months I was pregnant/nursing. I do also feel like charting was helpful in maximizing our chances of conception when we were trying. 

Usually with FAM/charting and irregular cycles, the downside would be using condoms/withdrawal until you're sure you've ovulated. Since cycles are irregular b/c of irregularities with ovulation, you might end up using condoms more than you'd like. 

I feel like there is always a cost/benefit analysis for any form of BC, and you just have to decide what's best for YOU.

I'd just encourage any woman to read TCOYF. You will be amazed to learn more about how your body works!

http://www.amazon.com/Taking-Charge-Your-Fertility-Anniversary/dp/0060881909

Condoms okay, but withdrawal is not a reliable form of firm control, due to millions of sperm that can be in pre-ejaculate.  Nothing against FAM though.

[Deleted User]

I have the Paraguard IUD and LOVE it. I was so terrible at remembering to take the pills, and was tired of the side effects of hormonal methods, so decided to try the IUD about 2 years ago. The insertion was uncomfortable as people say, but really not that bad, and so worth it for 10 years of worry-free birth control. 

suzie211

CrazyCatLady3 said:

desertsun said:

IMO, it is not necessary to have super regular cycles to use FAM to avoid pregnancy. It will help you become familiar with your cycles and know when you need to use a backup method/abstain and when it's safe not to. 

I have had cycles anywhere from 40+ days to 28 days. I've used charting to avoid conceiving when I didn't want to for about 18 of the last 36 months -- those other 18 months I was pregnant/nursing. I do also feel like charting was helpful in maximizing our chances of conception when we were trying. 

Usually with FAM/charting and irregular cycles, the downside would be using condoms/withdrawal until you're sure you've ovulated. Since cycles are irregular b/c of irregularities with ovulation, you might end up using condoms more than you'd like. 

I feel like there is always a cost/benefit analysis for any form of BC, and you just have to decide what's best for YOU.

I'd just encourage any woman to read TCOYF. You will be amazed to learn more about how your body works!

http://www.amazon.com/Taking-Charge-Your-Fertility-Anniversary/dp/0060881909

Condoms okay, but withdrawal is not a reliable form of firm control, due to millions of sperm that can be in pre-ejaculate.  Nothing against FAM though.

This statement is inaccurate.  There are actually recent studies that show there is no sperm in pre-ejaculate.  Those who get pregnant using the withdrawal method are usually due to improper timing of withdrawal or having sex more than once in the same day where there was still semen left from the first round.

It can be a reliable form, but can run into issues with human error.  Condoms have an 18% error rate and withdrawal has a 22% error rate.  This is not a huge difference, but those rates are also when used perfectly.  

See the attached article.  It mentions two studies verifying no sperm in pre-ejaculate and actually shows withdrawal to be more effective than condoms.

Clicky

FutureMr&MrsG

I just got the mirena yesterday, insertion was not nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be. I had 2 sharp cramps and then I was fine, I took some aleive afterwards just in case but so far so good!

ETA: I've never had kids before either.

emmyg65

I had the ParaGard for 5 years and it was fabulous (it's good for up to 10). I was tired of using hormonal birth control. I tried the Fertility Awareness Method but wasn't okay with its effectiveness. I was at a point where I absolutely could not have a baby and there are so many ways that FAM can get messed up (being sick, irregular cycles, traveling, etc.).

I haven't ever been pregnant, so the first doctor wouldn't do it. I just went to a different doctor. Insertion was very painful, but the pain only lasted about two minutes. Then I had what felt like bad period cramps for a day. My period was really heavy for the first few months, but then it gradually went back to normal. I never felt like I had anything in there, and no one could ever feel the strings. I just got it out in February because we're trying to conceive now. I like that your fertility returns immediately.

I loved never having to worry about refilling my prescription, tracking my cycle, or whatever. IUDs are like "set it and forget it" birth control.

desertsun

suzie211 said:

CrazyCatLady3 said:

desertsun said:

IMO, it is not necessary to have super regular cycles to use FAM to avoid pregnancy. It will help you become familiar with your cycles and know when you need to use a backup method/abstain and when it's safe not to. 

I have had cycles anywhere from 40+ days to 28 days. I've used charting to avoid conceiving when I didn't want to for about 18 of the last 36 months -- those other 18 months I was pregnant/nursing. I do also feel like charting was helpful in maximizing our chances of conception when we were trying. 

Usually with FAM/charting and irregular cycles, the downside would be using condoms/withdrawal until you're sure you've ovulated. Since cycles are irregular b/c of irregularities with ovulation, you might end up using condoms more than you'd like. 

I feel like there is always a cost/benefit analysis for any form of BC, and you just have to decide what's best for YOU.

I'd just encourage any woman to read TCOYF. You will be amazed to learn more about how your body works!

http://www.amazon.com/Taking-Charge-Your-Fertility-Anniversary/dp/0060881909

Condoms okay, but withdrawal is not a reliable form of firm control, due to millions of sperm that can be in pre-ejaculate.  Nothing against FAM though.

This statement is inaccurate.  There are actually recent studies that show there is no sperm in pre-ejaculate.  Those who get pregnant using the withdrawal method are usually due to improper timing of withdrawal or having sex more than once in the same day where there was still semen left from the first round.

It can be a reliable form, but can run into issues with human error.  Condoms have an 18% error rate and withdrawal has a 22% error rate.  This is not a huge difference, but those rates are also when used perfectly.  

See the attached article.  It mentions two studies verifying no sperm in pre-ejaculate and actually shows withdrawal to be more effective than condoms.

Clicky

Thanks, @suzie211! You beat me to it. 

Also, I'm not at all claiming charting is for everyone. By all means, go with an IUD if you absolutely cannot be pregnant and can't/don't want to take the pill or use condoms. 

Just wanted to put it out there as an option. I always thought it sounded like quackery until I actually did some research and was convinced enough to give it a try.  

KeptInStitches

@desertsun, I'm just info-gathering. When I can get my hands on a copy of TCOYF, I will be sure to read it. I appreciate the insight, for sure!

CrazyCatLady3

I stand corrected on the withdrawal thing, but 22% is not a number I would want to bank on.  The 18% for condoms takes into account people who aren't properly educated on how to use them.  The failure rate for those who use them properly is only 2-3%.

 

http://goaskalice.columbia.edu/explanation-condom-failure-rates

 

I'm not really aware of a good way to properly enforce withdrawal to get better rates than 22%.

suzie211

CrazyCatLady3 said:

I stand corrected on the withdrawal thing, but 22% is not a number I would want to bank on.  The 18% for condoms takes into account people who aren't properly educated on how to use them.  The failure rate for those who use them properly is only 2-3%.

 

http://goaskalice.columbia.edu/explanation-condom-failure-rates

 

I'm not really aware of a good way to properly enforce withdrawal to get better rates than 22%.

@crazycatlady3 You do understand the 18% and 22% are for how many times it failed and not how many times it worked?

Essentially those stats show 18 out 100 women will get pregnant using condoms. That means 82 won't. Hence it has 82% effectiveness.

ETA. You are correct with perfect use condoms have a 2% failure rate. With perfect use withdrawal is at 4%.

buddysmom80

@desertsun did you end up taking a class on FAM or just went by TCOYF? My friend ended up going to a FAM consultant in NYC (which was the closest one to where we are) and she said it was helpful, but I don't know if my insurance company will pay for it or if it's worth the extra expense. From what I read, I understand how it works, and my cycles were always pretty regular.

desertsun

@buddysmom80, I read TCOYF and kept it handy to refer back to the first several months. I use fertilityfriend.com to chart, so I have web access and FF's mobile app. I also have other friends who chart that I can ask if I have questions. I find FF has a great search function, and message boards that can be helpful. Many people on the bump are experienced charters, too. So there are plenty of free resources, but if you read TCOYF, give charting a try, and run into difficulty, you could always explore the consultant/class option more.

@CrazyCatLady, I understand where you're coming from. Withdrawal is talked about in sex ed classes as being super risky. And I totally respect your right to choose the method that is right for you!

But just some info for you: Sperm survive for a maximum of 5 days in fertile cervical fluid (of very wet or egg white consistency), and an egg survives for only about a day. So there are perhaps 6 days total that conception is possible during a cycle, and the most likely days are the 2 days before ovulation and the day of ovulation.

Possible TMI Warning. For me, I usually ovulate around cycle day 16, so for days 1-10, we don't withdraw or use condoms. Cycle days 10-13, we use withdrawal. 13-16, we use condoms, withdrawal days 17-19. Then we're free to not withdraw or use condoms until ovulation gets close again. Of course, I use signs like cervical fluid, basal body temp, etc to help evaluate where I'm at in my cycle. We don't go strictly by days. I tend to see fertile cervical fluid several days in advance of ovulation, so that's my signal to start using condoms. I hope that more detail with my personal example helps illustrate how withdrawal can be used effectively when a couple is knowledgeable. And obviously I would advise using condoms or abstaining around ovulation the first several cycles to get comfortable with charting and familiar with how to interpret your particular cycle and signs. 

@KeptInStitches, @loves2shop4shoes, or for anyone else interested in a quick overview, this little slideshow covers the basics of charting/FAM:
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/Presentations/ChartingBasics/

Obviously, that is geared toward maximizing conception, but the same principles can be applied to avoid.

I'm happy to answer other questions to the best of my ability! Just tag me. Sorry if it takes me a few days to respond. I'm not here every day, but I do try to pop in at least once or twice a week.