newly engaged ..family drama

KNC11

Is it ever okay to not invite a immediate family member to any wedding functions?

JessicaJupiter

I think there are certain circumstances.

When my first cousin got married there were a couple members of her immediate family that were not invited. She only snubbed them because they never supported anything she had done and she felt uncomfortable having them at the celebration of their wedding.

If you feel they will cause a scene or cause you stress by just being there then it is likely a good idea not to invite them. Don't cross them off the list right now until it is time to send out invitations, your attitude towards it could change by then.

Just be warned that by snubbing immediate family you could cause further family drama with other members who disagree with your choice. I'd suggest speaking with some other family members who would keep this private if you are worried about making a big soap opera out of this.

manateehugger

Everything is permissible, not everything is beneficial. It's hard to give good advice without the specifics here. 

Is it ok? Yes, as long as you aren't accepting money from someone insisting that person be a guest. 

But you have to know your own family dynamic and weigh the options. Is the drama caused by not inviting this person worth not having them there? I agree with PP to try to see how things settle until invitation time comes around. Until then, just defuse and deflect as much as possible. Speak to a family member you trust about the situation. 

LizQ

Personally, I wouldn't want anyone at my wedding who causes me any kind of distress no matter their role in the family. Just because someone is a family member doesn't mean that he/she has to be present or important in your life. I know that sounds weird to most people because we are taught to cherish family no matter what, but if someone has a really negative impact in your life, you can't be expected to want them around. Just make sure you talk to other family members about the issue and help them understand your side, so you can avoid future problems/arguments about it.