Things that don't make me miss being single.

chibiyui

http://jezebel.com/delusional-man-child-has-most-incredible-list-of-dating-1382052948

Like seriously, I am so glad I'm not on OkCupid anymore. 

BTW dude, "mini skirt with boots, not cowboy boots, but sexy boots." 

Is not "conservative" 

southernbelle0915

I think this man is serial killer. Seriously. What. The. Fuck.

Swazzle

Wow. 

I can't get his website to fully load but there's a section titled "pictures of my famous friends." 

He also lists his cell phone number on there. What an idiot.

itzMS

Oooh! Can we threadjack this into creepiest guys we went out with from online dating?

Back in 2010, I dated quite a bit off EHarmony. I was out on a first date with a guy. He was nice. Unemployed at the time, but whatever, times were tough. We had an okay time.

We parted ways, and shortly after arriving back home, my phone rang. It was him. I thought, "How sweet! He's calling already to ask me out again!"

Almost before I said "Hello" he blurts out "I'm so sorry but I have to tell you I have DUI arrest on my record and I have a court date coming up and was so nervous to tell you at the date"

Okay, dude, this was our FIRST DATE. I don't even know you yet. We could've talked about transgressions of our past after we've seen each other more than ONCE :-/

So glad I'm never going to have to deal with this again.

smalfrie19

OH MY GOD!!! Well even if I was single, I DEFINITELY wouldn't qualify.

Pepper6

I love that he said he doesn't want a girl who is friends with an ex, but then mentions his ex of 11 years several times...

LakeR2014

I had this guy take me out to a fancy Italian restaurant (his choice) for our second meeting/date.  Our first was on a local pier near here.   We meet at the restaurant and I'm all dressed up waiting for him...he shows up in a sweatshirt and track pants!!!!  Says I look nice and then proceeds to go in.  The hostess was like 'Ummm.....right this way?'  I was so embarrassed.  He was loud in the restaurant too, wore the napkin, as a bib and still spilled on his sweatshirt.   I excused myself and went to the bathroom and texted my friend to call me with an emergency.   We were to go to the movies after dinner, but once dinner was done I peaced out.   He was clueless and wanted to 'make-out' before I ran off to my emergency. 

So glad I don't have to deal with online dating or dating at all anymore.

chibiyui

itzMS said:

Oooh! Can we threadjack this into creepiest guys we went out with from online dating?

Back in 2010, I dated quite a bit off EHarmony. I was out on a first date with a guy. He was nice. Unemployed at the time, but whatever, times were tough. We had an okay time.

We parted ways, and shortly after arriving back home, my phone rang. It was him. I thought, "How sweet! He's calling already to ask me out again!"

Almost before I said "Hello" he blurts out "I'm so sorry but I have to tell you I have DUI arrest on my record and I have a court date coming up and was so nervous to tell you at the date"

Okay, dude, this was our FIRST DATE. I don't even know you yet. We could've talked about transgressions of our past after we've seen each other more than ONCE :-/

So glad I'm never going to have to deal with this again.

I was very lucky that I never went out with any total creeps (okay, one, but I met him at a bar, not online) But, all my college friends who were also on OkCupid over the span of a week had the same guy message us about putting swiss cheese cheese on his dick. He offered to pay us. 

He was actually very nice when we declined, so it's really more funny story then OMG what a creep.

chibiyui

Pepper6 said:

I love that he said he doesn't want a girl who is friends with an ex, but then mentions his ex of 11 years several times...

I've learned that any guy who can't handle being a girl being friends with her ex is not worth dealing with. Of course, this guy also has being an extreme racist, misogynist and overall douchebaggery to make him even less attractive. 

AprilH81

chibiyui said:

http://jezebel.com/delusional-man-child-has-most-incredible-list-of-dating-1382052948

Like seriously, I am so glad I'm not on OkCupid anymore. 

BTW dude, "mini skirt with boots, not cowboy boots, but sexy boots." 

Is not "conservative" 

OkCupid is how I met my FI.  

chibiyui

AprilH81 said:

chibiyui said:

http://jezebel.com/delusional-man-child-has-most-incredible-list-of-dating-1382052948

Like seriously, I am so glad I'm not on OkCupid anymore. 

BTW dude, "mini skirt with boots, not cowboy boots, but sexy boots." 

Is not "conservative" 

OkCupid is how I met my FI.  

I met mine on OkCupid too. But I'm still glad I'm not on there anymore.

doeydo

Good luck being single for life.  And a virgin, minus prostitutes.  But I doubt he'll likes prostitutes if he doesn't like strippers so...  ETA grammar 

shaylagirl

*sigh*

What a fucker.  Thanks for making all of us Austinites sound like douchewagons and racist dicks.

chibiyui

I don't think you have to worry about that @shaylagirl, I'm pretty sure the rest of the states know Austin as the hip part of Texas.

Hell, I'm pretty sure thats why douche has tattoo's as not a complete dealbreaker. 

Aray82

A friend on OKCupid is posting these types of "mini skirt, not with cowboy boots, but sexy boots" types of phrases as her facebook status updates for us to laugh along with her. And there seem to be a lot more of these, um, gentlemen out there than I would've ever thought possible...

Dreamergirl8812

He actually talks about tight vaginas. That actually happened.


The comments are pretty good.

WonderRed

By "I lived with my ex girlfriend for eleven years" I assume he means kept her at the bottom of a hole in his basement and demanded that she puts the lotion on her skin or else she gets the hose again?

Oh lucky me.  He likes red heads.   Hooray!

laylasaurus

wow.  I love how he considers women's bodies to be works of art created by god, not to be marred by tattoos and piercings yet then blabs on and on about how the woman must meet his non-fat, non-short, long-haired, non-black, etc etc.  "Women are beautiful works of God..but only the ones that meet my impossible list of standards"  

Yes, you sir, are a true connoisseur of natural feminine beauty.  

laylasaurus

Jezebel has run a few of these lately I think..each one as utterly ridiculous as the last.  There was another one that had moronic list of personal details potential dates had to provide him, while also refusing to provide the exact same info about himself.

 I just can't believe these guys exist, I wonder if people are just trolling dating sites at this point.  

WinstonsGirl

smalfrie19 said:

OH MY GOD!!! Well even if I was single, I DEFINITELY wouldn't qualify.

And I unfortunately qualify completely.  So glad I'm married.  And not living in Austin.  And totally not into asshole douch canoes.   

southernbelle0915

Lobster1987 said:

Did you go to the guy's actual website? He has chompers that look like those flippers that little girl pageant queens wear for those beauty pageants....honey boo boo style.

I'm going to it now, but it's SUPER slow: www.sleeplessinaustin.com.

Obviously outside of the perfect girl description and "about me" sections, I think my favorite is his "photos with my famous friends" - why? and what the hell. 

RedJacks25

I hate that he prefers redheads. That makes me feel used, just by reading through it.

WonderRed

The floppy vagina comment made me think of this song yesterday and it's been stuck in my head since.

CLICK HERE

melbelleup

itzMS said:

Oooh! Can we threadjack this into creepiest guys we went out with from online dating?

Back in 2010, I dated quite a bit off EHarmony. I was out on a first date with a guy. He was nice. Unemployed at the time, but whatever, times were tough. We had an okay time.

We parted ways, and shortly after arriving back home, my phone rang. It was him. I thought, "How sweet! He's calling already to ask me out again!"

Almost before I said "Hello" he blurts out "I'm so sorry but I have to tell you I have DUI arrest on my record and I have a court date coming up and was so nervous to tell you at the date"

Okay, dude, this was our FIRST DATE. I don't even know you yet. We could've talked about transgressions of our past after we've seen each other more than ONCE :-/

So glad I'm never going to have to deal with this again.

LOL Okay... to add to. I went on a date (to a bar) with a guy from OkCupid Ironically... who wanted to date someone he could make fat. He wanted to turn a girl into some 300lb-400lb blob because he found it sexy making a girl become fat.... he wanted to know if I was willing. Uh no.

amaryann210

I met mn FI on Plenty of Fish and I'm convinced he was the last decent man there.  Online dating, for the most part, is a crapshoot and the house usually wins. 

One first date was at a middle-of-the-road restaurant, nothing fancy, and I ordered a meal that was much cheaper than the guy's.  When the check came, he picked it up without a word.  The next day, he texted me and berated me for not offering to pay half, since I knew he didn't have a high-paying job.  And then had the audacity to ask if I wanted to get together again. 

I don't miss being single. At. All.

Dreamergirl8812

melbelleup said:

itzMS said:

Oooh! Can we threadjack this into creepiest guys we went out with from online dating?

Back in 2010, I dated quite a bit off EHarmony. I was out on a first date with a guy. He was nice. Unemployed at the time, but whatever, times were tough. We had an okay time.

We parted ways, and shortly after arriving back home, my phone rang. It was him. I thought, "How sweet! He's calling already to ask me out again!"

Almost before I said "Hello" he blurts out "I'm so sorry but I have to tell you I have DUI arrest on my record and I have a court date coming up and was so nervous to tell you at the date"

Okay, dude, this was our FIRST DATE. I don't even know you yet. We could've talked about transgressions of our past after we've seen each other more than ONCE :-/

So glad I'm never going to have to deal with this again.

LOL Okay... to add to. I went on a date (to a bar) with a guy from OkCupid Ironically... who wanted to date someone he could make fat. He wanted to turn a girl into some 300lb-400lb blob because he found it sexy making a girl become fat.... he wanted to know if I was willing. Uh no.

How does one even establish that fetish in his own head? I can totally see that on an episode of Criminal Minds.

lfk2013

No wonder that guy is still single.

I met my FH on Match.com, but met some met some skeezeballs on there.  And the creepiest guy I ever dated stalked me after we broke up.