Wedding Etiquette Forum

Showing video of private ceremony - tacky?

As some of you may know, my FH and I are having a private ceremony. We're rock climbers and we're hanging off a cliff to get married. The only people present will be our parents, siblings and our BP (just MOH and BM). For many reasons, it's just not possible to have 100 people at the cliff with us. 

We're already planning to have the ceremony recorded. We've been asked by people that won't be there to make the video available for them to see. Is it tacky to play a video of the ceremony during the cocktail hour? Or maybe at the end of the reception? 

Re: Showing video of private ceremony - tacky?

  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited September 2013
    Sorry, but the only circumstances in which playing a video would be appropriate would be if you invited these people to the ceremony but they couldn't make it.  Since you're not inviting them to the ceremony, yes, it would be tacky to play a video of a ceremony they weren't invited to witness-even if they asked.  It is not an appropriate request on their parts.


  • Your reception will be the next day, correct?  I would just get some great pictures of your ceremony and put them in frames around the reception.  No video, showing that could make some guests feel as if they weren't important enough to attend the ceremony, but good enough to watch it the next day.

  • Yup, that's correct. Ceremony is Friday afternoon, reception is Saturday. I like the picture idea!
  • Just upload it somewhere and share the link with those asking after the wedding.

     

  • I think it is okay if it is playing on a loop on a screen near the bar, and people who want to can watch at their leisure. I think it will be tacky to have everyone sit down, gather round, and watch the thing they weren't invited to (understandably so).
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  • itzMS said:

    Just upload it somewhere and share the link with those asking after the wedding.

     

    This is what I would do too. Neat ceremony plan!

  • itzMS said:

    Just upload it somewhere and share the link with those asking after the wedding.

    This is the perfect solution. I wouldn't play it during the ceremony. 
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  • I think it is okay if it is playing on a loop on a screen near the bar, and people who want to can watch at their leisure. I think it will be tacky to have everyone sit down, gather round, and watch the thing they weren't invited to (understandably so).

    I think this would be ok.  As long as you aren't forcing everyone to sit down and watch that's fine.  If you put it on a loop, somewhere accessible but sort of out of the way so it's not the primary focus it would be nice.  I think folks will be more understanding due to the rock climbing aspect of the ceremony.

    We had friends who had a private ceremony in HI and then came back and did an AHR.  They had a slide show of pictures on an iPad that they shared around for anyone who wanted to see.

     

  • Thanks everyone! Passing around the iPad is a cool idea too! I definitely wouldn't put up a big screen and force people to watch it. Honestly, that would embarrass the hell out of me. And I'm not that big of an AW :-P 
  • itzMS said:

    Just upload it somewhere and share the link with those asking after the wedding.

     

    I like this idea.  They still get to see the video but it is not forced on everyone at the celebration.
  • Okay this is the sort of thing where, as a guest, I would be so disappointed not to see footage! This sounds so cool! I think the iPad idea is a great idea, or projecting it on a wall on loop during the cocktail hour so that people aren't forced to sit and watch it.
  • BelichickBelichick member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited September 2013
    I realize this has nothing to do with your question, but I'm curious, where will your parents, siblings and bridal party be while you're hanging off a cliff?  Above you, below you, hanging as well?   What will you be wearing?

    Sorry for being so nosy, it sounds like a really interesting ceremony :-)
  • Who's taking pictures or video of you guys hanging off a cliff?



    Anniversary
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  • Our parents will be on the ground by choice. Siblings, BM and MOH will be in the air with us, provided there is enough room. We haven't picked the route yet. Basically we're hiking up, rappelling down and stopping halfway down to the the ceremony. My dad is rappelling down with us, giving me away and then rappelling down to the ground.  

    I will be wearing a white climbing outfit. Maybe a veil too if I feel like it :-)

    My aunt is a professional photographer. She'll be taking pictures and recording us with her Go Pro that's in fact already attached to her helmet. 
  • Very cool! I hope you post pictures here. I would love to see them!

  • edited September 2013
    Our parents will be on the ground by choice. Siblings, BM and MOH will be in the air with us, provided there is enough room. We haven't picked the route yet. Basically we're hiking up, rappelling down and stopping halfway down to the the ceremony. My dad is rappelling down with us, giving me away and then rappelling down to the ground.  

    I will be wearing a white climbing outfit. Maybe a veil too if I feel like it :-)

    My aunt is a professional photographer. She'll be taking pictures and recording us with her Go Pro that's in fact already attached to her helmet. 
    I got misty-eyed when I read that! I can't wait to see the video - so regardless of showing it at the ceremony or not, PLEASE share it here!! :-D
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

  • Thanks guys! I will most definitely share the pics and video here! 
  • I think it's tacky. In your head, people watch a little whilst drinking and chatting, right? But in reality I think people feel like they have to just stand there quietly watching. It will ruin the party vibe. If you want people to watch, you need to invite them.
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