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Etiquette

Be Sure to Tell your DJ...

I attended a beautiful wedding last night. It was small; there was only 8 tables of people, so around 70 guests were present. It was a lovely 5 course meal with quick and efficient table service. However, there were 10-12 children there, and a 5 course meal is rather long for a 5 year old to sit through. Several of the children were playing handheld video games, on an iPhone or iPod touch, and this little thing that looked like it was made for preschoolers- a leapfrog, maybe. I didn't hear sounds from any of the devices, even though I was sitting at a table with two children. In fact, the children were quiet and engaged and not being antsy or disruptive.

Well, grandma gets up and goes to talk to the DJ. The DJ makes an announcement that "The couple requests no children play video games at the dinner table."

Well, the groom then gets up and talks to the DJ. The DJ then says, "Please disregard the previous request. The couple affirms that children can play video games whenever and wherever their parents want"

Be sure to tell your DJ who is allowed to make announcements!
melbelleupPrettyGirlLostShesSoColdruchie81

Re: Be Sure to Tell your DJ...

  • Sounds like my brothers wedding when the pastor of the church got on a bull horn threatened to throw families out during the more than one hour,  unhosted gap between the ceremony and reception because children were playing on the side of the church gym where there was nothing set up.


  • Ugh...I so agree with this advice.  At my rehearsal dinner my MOH was talking about how she likes to sing along with a song at weddings.  I had forgotten about this.  Immediately when I got back to the hotel I emailed the DJ to tell him not to allow this.  He was totally receptive.


  • Eeks.. that's gotta be embarrassing for grandma
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
  • Thankfully it reflected poorly on the DJ and not on the couple. If I was a DJ, I'm not sure I would be comfortable making that type of announcement from grandma. But I suppose the DJ didn't really know any better.
    melbelleupPrettyGirlLost
  • Blue_BirdBlue_Bird Bawlmer member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
    LOL, good save by the groom. While I agree with Grandma's sentiment, it's not up to the couple to police the manners of other people's children. Also agreed that a 5-course meal is a lot for them to sit though.
    PrettyGirlLost
  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 Boston Suburbs member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I attended a beautiful wedding last night. It was small; there was only 8 tables of people, so around 70 guests were present. It was a lovely 5 course meal with quick and efficient table service. However, there were 10-12 children there, and a 5 course meal is rather long for a 5 year old to sit through. Several of the children were playing handheld video games, on an iPhone or iPod touch, and this little thing that looked like it was made for preschoolers- a leapfrog, maybe. I didn't hear sounds from any of the devices, even though I was sitting at a table with two children. In fact, the children were quiet and engaged and not being antsy or disruptive.

    Well, grandma gets up and goes to talk to the DJ. The DJ makes an announcement that "The couple requests no children play video games at the dinner table."

    Well, the groom then gets up and talks to the DJ. The DJ then says, "Please disregard the previous request. The couple affirms that children can play video games whenever and wherever their parents want"

    Be sure to tell your DJ who is allowed to make announcements!
    What was grandma's problem then? If the children were well behaved and quiet, who cares if they are playing on an electronic device.  The DJ was wrong to not check with the couple first before making that announcement.
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    melbelleupKeptInStitches
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    WTF Grandma!?!  Geeze what an unhappy and bitchy old bat.

    [Deleted User]PrettyGirlLostHisGirlFriday13Dreamergirl8812
  • That's an excellent point! There was an episode of Four Weddings during which a DJ announced that anyone who did not RSVP had to sit outside during the indoor reception. They never made it clear who requested that announcement, but it was awful! I wonder if it was the couple or crazy Grandma Mildred. 
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  • WTF Grandma!?!  Geeze what an unhappy and bitchy old bat.
    Agreed!  It is hard to get children to sit through a 5 course meal - when besides a wedding would they be doing that anyway?  If everything was silent and those kids were sitting in their chairs quietly and not interrupting the meal, I'd say the parents were wise to let them play with the devices.   Grandma sounds like a battle ax.
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Yikes! Grandma needs to mind her business. 

  • Oh my god, I would have laughed so hard. That grandma sounds nuts. I mean, what couple would go ask Grandma to make an announcement like that at a wedding? She fooled no one.

  • I could totally see FI's gma doing this, because she's a meddlesome old battleaxe, and this (among other reasons) is why I already told the DJ not to accept any announcement requests from anyone other than me, FI, and my mom.
    Anniversary

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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • Follow up question, because I've been thinking about it now: Do you think it's rude/inappropriate for children to be playing (quietly) with handheld video games during a wedding meal? 

    If it was my own children, I probably wouldn't let them play games, but I also wouldn't judge anyone who did. Sometimes it's nice to actually be able to have an adult conversation at the dinner table. And honestly- these days, children are so used to video games and television shows galore, that small toys/coloring books just don't hold their attention in the same way. Children also don't eat as much as adults, so they would probably get done fairly quickly. It's not really different than them sitting there and coloring a picture.
  • KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches the Northern Plains member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    I'd rather they were playing video games than causing trouble by running around, screaming, sticking their hands in the cake, etc. If it's an evil, it's definitely a lesser evil in my book.
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Follow up question, because I've been thinking about it now: Do you think it's rude/inappropriate for children to be playing (quietly) with handheld video games during a wedding meal? 

    If it was my own children, I probably wouldn't let them play games, but I also wouldn't judge anyone who did. Sometimes it's nice to actually be able to have an adult conversation at the dinner table. And honestly- these days, children are so used to video games and television shows galore, that small toys/coloring books just don't hold their attention in the same way. Children also don't eat as much as adults, so they would probably get done fairly quickly. It's not really different than them sitting there and coloring a picture.
    Not at all.  Kids get bored and it was great that their parents thought ahead to bring items to keep their kids occupied.  Honestly, if the kids are happy and content to sit through a 5 course meal then that is all that matters.  Unless they were like 16 years old I doubt they would be any where near interested in the adult conversations going on around them.

    I also agree with you that video games on the ipad or iphone are like the coloring books of years gone by.  Parents used toys and such back when I was younger to keep kids occupied and the ipad or iphone with games on it is the newer generations of the toys we had back when.

  • Follow up question, because I've been thinking about it now: Do you think it's rude/inappropriate for children to be playing (quietly) with handheld video games during a wedding meal? 

    If it was my own children, I probably wouldn't let them play games, but I also wouldn't judge anyone who did. Sometimes it's nice to actually be able to have an adult conversation at the dinner table. And honestly- these days, children are so used to video games and television shows galore, that small toys/coloring books just don't hold their attention in the same way. Children also don't eat as much as adults, so they would probably get done fairly quickly. It's not really different than them sitting there and coloring a picture.
    Not at all.  Kids get bored and it was great that their parents thought ahead to bring items to keep their kids occupied.  Honestly, if the kids are happy and content to sit through a 5 course meal then that is all that matters.  Unless they were like 16 years old I doubt they would be any where near interested in the adult conversations going on around them.

    I also agree with you that video games on the ipad or iphone are like the coloring books of years gone by.  Parents used toys and such back when I was younger to keep kids occupied and the ipad or iphone with games on it is the newer generations of the toys we had back when.

    I never thought of it like that before, it is so true!

  • Follow up question, because I've been thinking about it now: Do you think it's rude/inappropriate for children to be playing (quietly) with handheld video games during a wedding meal? 

    If it was my own children, I probably wouldn't let them play games, but I also wouldn't judge anyone who did. Sometimes it's nice to actually be able to have an adult conversation at the dinner table. And honestly- these days, children are so used to video games and television shows galore, that small toys/coloring books just don't hold their attention in the same way. Children also don't eat as much as adults, so they would probably get done fairly quickly. It's not really different than them sitting there and coloring a picture.
    Kids are kids. Expecting them to sit there quietly at a table while most likely surrounded by strangers in a party atmosphere with new things all around while adults sip wine and talk about anything besides their favorite colors or toys is not realistic. 

    I wouldn't condone iAnything during family dinners at home, but in these cases I think it's perfectly acceptable. Again, they are children. 
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  • This is something I wouldn't have thought of myself, but luckily our DJ was very experienced and asked us in our planning meetings who had announcement/microphone rights. 

    We also had a Do Not Play list, so no matter if one of our guests requested a song, our DJ wouldn't play it.  Well we had Lady Gaga on our no play list, but my 4 year old nephew went up to the DJ by himself to request one of her songs.  So our DJ came and found us to ask if we would make an exception and play it for him, which we did.  It's definitely important to have a good DJ, at least one with common sense...
  • phiraphira Bahstin member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    I can only hope that some of my cousins just sit quietly and play video games. I'm terrified that some of them might run around, crawl under tables, or trash the off-limits-to-everyone-except-the-wedding-party bridal suite.

    We're about to start our DJ hunt, and one thing we're considering is giving the DJ directions about what to do if someone comes up with a request, either for a song or for an announcement.
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
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  • Dreamergirl8812Dreamergirl8812 your closet member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    I could totally see FI's gma doing this, because she's a meddlesome old battleaxe, and this (among other reasons) is why I already told the DJ not to accept any announcement requests from anyone other than me, FI, and my mom.


    If you invite me to your wedding I'll yell this any time your FI's grandma says anything to anyone:
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    Anniversary
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    ShesSoCold
  • ElcaB said:

    That's an excellent point! There was an episode of Four Weddings during which a DJ announced that anyone who did not RSVP had to sit outside during the indoor reception. They never made it clear who requested that announcement, but it was awful! I wonder if it was the couple or crazy Grandma Mildred. 

    I saw that one! What a shitshow.
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