Nevada-Las Vegas

Attending a wedding this weekend, advice needed!

Hi my Vegas peeps,

I have posted before about our small guest list and the fact that it has irked some of FIs extended family. This extended family consists of FFILs brothers and sisters and their kids. We see them maybe 2x per year, meaning I have met them each less than 5 times in the years FI and I have been together. This is partially because they are scattered across the country.

When we were tying to cut down the list, it was my FFIL who suggested we cut them and that he would host a BBQ (NOT a reception!) next summer and invite them all so we can catch up. FWIW, we did not invite ANY uncles or cousins, only immediate family and friends.

FIs uncle sent him a Facebook message nastygram about not being invited to the wedding a few months ago. We dealt with it the best we could.

Now, fast forward...

We are attending FIs cousin's wedding this weekend (think I've met her 3 times, seriously). We will be seeing the part of the family that was not invited to our wedding for the first time since our engagement. I know we are going to be ambushed with questions about the wedding and I'm not sure what to say to these people. Most of them know they aren't invited. The truth is, we are on a limited budget and, as mean as this sounds, there are people who are more significant in our lives that we want to have at the wedding. We would both rather party it up in Vegas splendor with our closest friends, not Aunt Sally who we barely know. This is the cold hard truth. We also like the idea of having a small group for logistical reasons.

So, any advice for us on how to deal with some possibly awkward situations? Thank you!
Wedding Countdown Ticker

Re: Attending a wedding this weekend, advice needed!

  • I don't have alot of great advice, sorry.  I am kind of in the same boat with my family.  I have 7 aunts and 32 cousins on my dads side of the family alone. I see some of them once or twice a year, and some of them have never been to any of my big life event ( like hs, college or phd graduates, bday parties, baby showers.) so we didn't invite them.  Now they are really butt hurt about not being invited and about the whole destination wedding in general.  I am being as nice as i can, but really I only see them once or twice a year, so I am not really worried about itSOrry, I am not much help.  With destination weddings, its not  uncommon.

  • I would say try to steer any questions or comments regarding your wedding away.  I would let them know its Mr and Mrs Xs day.  :) HTH
    [Deleted User]
  • ditto what @southerncutie said.  if they bring up your wedding try to change the subject quickly by saying you are keeping your focus on the current bridge and groom and their special day.  

    if they keep asking, say you are having a small and intimate ceremony in Vegas, but hope they can join you when you have a BBQ as husband and wife.

    if they already know they aren't invited, hopefully they won't ask again!  
    We had our dream wedding at Mirage on May 3, 2014! 
  • You shouldn't have to explain yourself but if it comes up I would reiterate that you're having an intimate celebration and leave it at that.
  • Just say its a budget thing and blame a political party. People love talking politics so hopefully that will distract long enough for you to get away. Lol it would work in my family
    [Deleted User]
  • spoon1984 said:
    You shouldn't have to explain yourself but if it comes up I would reiterate that you're having an intimate celebration and leave it at that.
    I know I shouldn't but these people are animals! Animals I tell ya!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • It's crazy all the hassle that come with weddings, everyone wants to put in their two cents!
  • I had to deal with similar conversations because we're doing something very much the same. Immediate family, grand parents, & each of us are bringing 2 very close friends. When people bring up that they're really disappointed or upset they can't come, I just kind of commiserate with them. Something like, "I know! We really wish we could afford to have the big wedding & invite all of our friends and family. I'm really disappointed, too" (in a really disappointed tone). I've had a couple people offer to pitch in and I just say that it's really thoughtful, but we already have multiple non-refundable deposits down and our venue only holds 30.
  • ^ I'd go with Rachel's advice.

    Also remember that some people just like to be grumpy about things they think are their business, especially in family circles! If things get gross in a conversation at the wedding, excuse yourself to go dance, use the rest room or to get a drink. Hopefully they'll be grownups and realize what's going on and turn down the drama. Good luck!

    // Little Vegas Wedding blog - click for modern Vegas wedding inspiration, ideas and venues! //
    // Springs Preserve + Border Grill bride, May 2010 //

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