Venue Issues Please Help!!

har5330

Hello Everyone, Here is the deal.. We are planning our wedding for October 2016 so I know I have plenty of time but I am still trying to figure things out as soon as possible.  My issue is that we are looking at a guest list around 400 people and we are having a terrible time finding a venue.  Basically everything we find is a huge boring banquet hall.  We are having a rustic, "country chic" themed wedding and a boring banquet hall really doesn't fit the theme.  I am trying to come up with some unique yet practical ideas but I am completely clueless.  I would love to have a beautiful barn wedding but there aren't any around us that can fit that many people.  Also cutting the list isn't really an option either (we both come from fairly large families).  Any suggestions or ideas would be greatly appreciated!!

HisGirlFriday13

1. You're planning a wedding for THREE YEARS from now? Blessed Lord. 

2. Because you are planning a wedding for THREE YEARS from now, the guest list is the least of your worries -- a lot of things can and will change between now and then (people will die, people will get married, people will have babies, you'll lose touch with old friends, you'll make new friends, etc.).

3. Who's paying for your wedding? You and FI? Your parents? His parents? Combination thereof? He who pays gets a say, so the next thing you need to do is sit down with all the paying parties and everybody makes two lists: One is MUST HAVE -- your VIPs, the people you absolutely cannot imagine getting married without having there; the other is your WOULD LIKE list -- the people you'd love to invite if you have space.

Then you take the lists, compare them, add up the numbers -- accounting for currently single guests who might fall in love, get engaged and get married in the next THREE YEARS -- and figure out what your MUST HAVE numbers are and your WOULD LIKE numbers are. (This is also when you would figure out if you're going to invite kids, and if so, what age group, and what degree of relation, etc.)

4. Figure out a budget. If you're going to have 400 people and your budget is $4,000, you're going to have to make major concessions. 

5. Once you have a budget, start looking for venues -- and realize that (a) "country chic" has been done and it's kind of passe now; (b) given the size of your list, you're going to have to conform your decor to whatever venue hall you're able to find that can accommodate 400+/- people. That may mean a "boring banquet hall" simply because no other venue will be able to fit your extraordinarily large guest list. 

6. Weddings are about compromise -- if you insist on inviting 400 +/- people (and that boggles my mind, but that's me), then you're going to have to compromise on venue, accommodations, decor, and other aspects.

doeydo

Outside (possibly on a farm) and tented reception, conservatory, a lodge, winery or vineyard, or a golf club.

Dreamergirl8812

HisGirlFriday13 said:

1. You're planning a wedding for THREE YEARS from now? Blessed Lord. 

2. Because you are planning a wedding for THREE YEARS from now, the guest list is the least of your worries -- a lot of things can and will change between now and then (people will die, people will get married, people will have babies, you'll lose touch with old friends, you'll make new friends, etc.).

3. Who's paying for your wedding? You and FI? Your parents? His parents? Combination thereof? He who pays gets a say, so the next thing you need to do is sit down with all the paying parties and everybody makes two lists: One is MUST HAVE -- your VIPs, the people you absolutely cannot imagine getting married without having there; the other is your WOULD LIKE list -- the people you'd love to invite if you have space.

Then you take the lists, compare them, add up the numbers -- accounting for currently single guests who might fall in love, get engaged and get married in the next THREE YEARS -- and figure out what your MUST HAVE numbers are and your WOULD LIKE numbers are. (This is also when you would figure out if you're going to invite kids, and if so, what age group, and what degree of relation, etc.)

4. Figure out a budget. If you're going to have 400 people and your budget is $4,000, you're going to have to make major concessions. 

5. Once you have a budget, start looking for venues -- and realize that (a) "country chic" has been done and it's kind of passe now; (b) given the size of your list, you're going to have to conform your decor to whatever venue hall you're able to find that can accommodate 400+/- people. That may mean a "boring banquet hall" simply because no other venue will be able to fit your extraordinarily large guest list. 

6. Weddings are about compromise -- if you insist on inviting 400 +/- people (and that boggles my mind, but that's me), then you're going to have to compromise on venue, accommodations, decor, and other aspects.

^^^This. Your theme/color scheme is the least important aspect of wedding planning. Worry about budget, then guest list, THEN pick a venuel

har5330

Obviously budget is a huge aspect and since we are planning for three years from now, nothing is set in stone any time soon.. Just trying to get some different ideas than just a traditional hall.

HisGirlFriday13

har5330 said:

Obviously budget is a huge aspect and since we are planning for three years from now, nothing is set in stone any time soon.. Just trying to get some different ideas than just a traditional hall.

No disrespect meant, but with a guest list that size (my entire college graduating class was smaller), budget is your ONLY aspect right now. You figure that out, THEN you can start looking for things that aren't the traditional hall.

Also, just as an FYI -- please plan on 100% attendance. Don't let anyone -- ANYONE -- tell you, "Oh, invite them, they'll never come." Those people will mortgage their cat, charter a plane, and be there.

My mom told me that about three of the guests for our wedding. Guess what? They're all coming. (On the other hand, we invited 152 people and our final guest count is 99, so we did have a huge decline rate). But still. Plan on nothing short of 100% attendance. If you search the boards, you'll find horror stories from brides who banked on a 20% decline rate and are now panicking because they're over-capacity and over-budget.

doeydo

The easiest way to save money is to cut guests.  I find it hard to believe that you are really close and want to share your day with 400 people, even if you have a large family and are popular.  But, if you have the money for it, go ahead.

southernbelle0915

That's awesome that you have 3 years to figure this stuff out. Step one is to figure out what you can realistically spend on a wedding and set up an account to start saving. If anyone is contributing, don't count their money in the total unless it's IN YOUR BANK ACCOUNT. 

Once you know how much you can spend, figure out who you want to invite. Based on this number, figure out how much you can afford to spend on food/drink for this many people. This per/guest number will dictate what types of venues you can consider. If your guest list is really long, you'll need to look at larger spaces within this per person budget. If it's small, you'll want to look at intimate spaces within the per person budget. 

You need the per person budget before you can start seriously considering anything. If you don't want a typical hall, look into restaurants, breweries, wineries, country clubs, golf courses, parks, museums, botanical gardens, boats/yachts, etc.