Invite Wording HELP!

brittleigh13

I am having a horrible time changing the wording on my wedding invitations.  The portion I'm playing with currently says: "We look forward to dining, dancing and celebrating with you under the frosty northern sky".  This is what was on the actual invite.  I need to change "frosty northern sky" to something different 1. It's a spring wedding (May) 2. We live in the Midwest and 3. It's not an outdoor wedding and I don't want to imply that it is.  Suggestions?  The setting of the wedding is in the country during the spring. 

Also, the word dining is bothering me a little bit and I'd like some suggestions and opinions.

We are having an evening wedding: Ceremony is at 6:30, and reception immediately following.  We are doing heavy hors d'oeuvres, champagne & wine.  I'm afraid dining may imply a full meal but at the same time, I'm not sure?!?? 

Any suggestions would be amazing.  Thanks

LiLe422

brittleigh13 said:

I am having a horrible time changing the wording on my wedding invitations.  The portion I'm playing with currently says: "We look forward to dining, dancing and celebrating with you under the frosty northern sky".  This is what was on the actual invite.  I need to change "frosty northern sky" to something different 1. It's a spring wedding (May) 2. We live in the Midwest and 3. It's not an outdoor wedding and I don't want to imply that it is.  Suggestions?  The setting of the wedding is in the country during the spring. 

Also, the word dining is bothering me a little bit and I'd like some suggestions and opinions.

We are having an evening wedding: Ceremony is at 6:30, and reception immediately following.  We are doing heavy hors d'oeuvres, champagne & wine.  I'm afraid dining may imply a full meal but at the same time, I'm not sure?!?? 

Any suggestions would be amazing.  Thanks

Drop the cutesy wording.  "Reception to follow" would be sufficient.

If the heavy hors d'oeuvres do not constitute a full meal, you need to bump your ceremony to 8pm (or another non mealtime.)

brittleigh13

Unfortunately, the "cutesy wording" is what we're going for and definitely what people would expect from me.  We are not the traditional type and sticking "reception to follow" is no where near our personalities. 

I suppose I should've been more specific.  I need some opinions and ideas to exchange the bolded words in the following for something more direct and/or appropriate to our evening of wine and heavy hors d'oeuvres during a midwestern spring.

We look forward to dining, dancing & celebrating with you under the frosty northern stars.

I'm not completely upset with dining as we will be having everything from small crab cakes & shrimp cocktails to breads and oils and cheeses.  I just do not like the idea of a full sit down dinner and I'm definitely not a buffet lover.

itzMS

brittleigh13 said:

Unfortunately, the "cutesy wording" is what we're going for and definitely what people would expect from me.  We are not the traditional type and sticking "reception to follow" is no where near our personalities. 

I suppose I should've been more specific.  I need some opinions and ideas to exchange the bolded words in the following for something more direct and/or appropriate to our evening of wine and heavy hors d'oeuvres during a midwestern spring.

We look forward to dining, dancing & celebrating with you under the frosty northern stars.

I'm not completely upset with dining as we will be having everything from small crab cakes & shrimp cocktails to breads and oils and cheeses.  I just do not like the idea of a full sit down dinner and I'm definitely not a buffet lover.

It doesn't matter what you like. You need to make sure your guests will know that there won't be dinner at dinnertime. What you're currently planning is rude and your guests will be very hungry.

Britt Leigh Smith

and

FIFirst Middle Last

Request the pleasure of your company

as they are united in marriage

Saturday, the tenth of May

two thousand fourteen

half after six o'clock

XYZ Venue

Anytown, USA

 

Reception to follow

 

Separate card:

We look forward to an evening of celebration and dancing on a beautiful spring night in the Minnesota (or whatever state) countryside.

Hors d'oeuvres and wine will be served.

 

 

 

 

doeydo

"Reception to follow"
"Evening reception with light refreshments to follow"
"Hors D'oeurves reeption to follow"

"We look forward to dancing and celebrating with you"

"We look forward to drinking, dancing, and celebrating with you well into the night"

Btw, I agree with PP that you should supply your guests with enough food for a meal or change the wedding time.

Jen4948

brittleigh13 said:

Unfortunately, the "cutesy wording" is what we're going for and definitely what people would expect from me.  We are not the traditional type and sticking "reception to follow" is no where near our personalities. 

Forget about your personalities here.  What your guests need is the logistical information: What, where, when.  If cutesy wording doesn't convey it properly such that guests get it without being confused, then it doesn't work for you.  Just stick with the basics regardless of what they expect.

brittleigh13

Wow, well thank you everyone for your responses. 

I really have no desire to be involved in a board where people tell me my wedding really isn't about what I like.  If I think a buffet is tacky... I obviously would never dream of having it at my wedding.  I also know my crowd-- a crowd who would also think this tacky.  Of course I won't please everyone-- as will none of you.  I was simply looking for some suggestions as to how to word it, in a way that I liked... which I believe is truly important.

Best wishes to all of you in your marriages and I hope your day is perfect.  If no one else has told you this, this is your one day-- make it perfect with no regrets.  Those who love you aren't there for the "buffet" and will be pleased just to be able to share in your day

doeydo

Wow, well thank you everyone for your responses. 

I really have no desire to be involved in a board where people tell me my wedding really isn't about what I like.  If I think a buffet is tacky... I obviously would never dream of having it at my wedding.  I also know my crowd-- a crowd who would also think this tacky.  Of course I won't please everyone-- as will none of you.  I was simply looking for some suggestions as to how to word it, in a way that I liked... which I believe is truly important.

Best wishes to all of you in your marriages and I hope your day is perfect.  If no one else has told you this, this is your one day-- make it perfect with no regrets.  Those who love you aren't there for the "buffet" and will be pleased just to be able to share in your day

No one said "OMG you are so crazy/rude for not having a buffet!  Buffets are the bomb dot com!"  We simply said that since most people would be eating dinner at the time of your wedding, that you need to feed them properly so they won't be starving or sneaking outside and ordering a pizza.  If you don't want to feed your guests enough food to be a meal, then you need to change the time or your wedding to be at a non-meal time, eg. 7:30 pm ceremony.

itzMS

@brittleigh13 said:

Wow, well thank you everyone for your responses. 

I really have no desire to be involved in a board where people tell me my wedding really isn't about what I like.  If I think a buffet is tacky... I obviously would never dream of having it at my wedding.  I also know my crowd-- a crowd who would also think this tacky.  Of course I won't please everyone-- as will none of you.  I was simply looking for some suggestions as to how to word it, in a way that I liked... which I believe is truly important.

Best wishes to all of you in your marriages and I hope your day is perfect.  If no one else has told you this, this is your one day-- make it perfect with no regrets.  Those who love you aren't there for the "buffet" and will be pleased just to be able to share in your day

Serving dinner at dinnertime is common decency. Would you invite guests over to your home at dinnertime and not serve a meal without letting them know first?

Your guests may love you sooooo much, but they're still going to want and expect dinner at dinnertime.

FWIW, anyone who is lurking on this post...buffets (and sit down dinners) are totally acceptable and not at all tacky! Not feeding your guests a full meal at dinnertime is the tacky part.

 

brittleigh13

No, I would not invite guests over at dinnertime-- without a proper notice that dinner would not be served...

If in fact you read my post you would read that I was trying to figure out how to give them proper notice while staying true to how I would like to do it.  Unfortunately, that has not been addressed much, just my timing and/or my want of having specific wording. 

And yes, I do believe a buffet is tacky-- that doesn't mean anyone else has to agree with me nor do I think it's a bad idea if that is what someone truly loves, it is indeed their day.  I'm not looking to argue opinions but if you are aloud to so bluntly state yours don't be shocked when others do the same.

Not to mention: if someone leaves my reception hungry it is because they chose not to eat-- as shrimp cocktail, crab cakes, bacon wrapped scallops, 6 different types of breads, 4 different types of oils, asparagus & goat cheese crostini, tomato bruschetta, 7 different kinds of warm/cool nuts, fruit kabobs, 10 different cheeses and spreads with breads/crackers to accompny and 4 different types of desserts should be more than enough to satisfy ones needs. 

I was just simply looking for help with wording.

southernbelle0915

brittleigh13 said:

No, I would not invite guests over at dinnertime-- without a proper notice that dinner would not be served...

If in fact you read my post you would read that I was trying to figure out how to give them proper notice while staying true to how I would like to do it.  Unfortunately, that has not been addressed much, just my timing and/or my want of having specific wording. 

And yes, I do believe a buffet is tacky-- that doesn't mean anyone else has to agree with me nor do I think it's a bad idea if that is what someone truly loves, it is indeed their day.  I'm not looking to argue opinions but if you are aloud to so bluntly state yours don't be shocked when others do the same.

Not to mention: if someone leaves my reception hungry it is because they chose not to eat-- as shrimp cocktail, crab cakes, bacon wrapped scallops, 6 different types of breads, 4 different types of oils, asparagus & goat cheese crostini, tomato bruschetta, 7 different kinds of warm/cool nuts, fruit kabobs, 10 different cheeses and spreads with breads/crackers to accompny and 4 different types of desserts should be more than enough to satisfy ones needs. 

I was just simply looking for help with wording.

My DH and I are also unique, but we used our inserts and website to allow for more creative freedom. The actual invitation wording just says the who, when, where, what. I would just say "Please join us for drinks and hors d'oeuvres at ________."

Just make sure whatever you're serving is enough to constitute a meal since it's at meal time. People aren't being spiteful by telling you that - it's just that if there's not enough food people will leave and it won't be as successful as you imagine. People are just trying to help.

itzMS

brittleigh13 said:

No, I would not invite guests over at dinnertime-- without a proper notice that dinner would not be served...

If in fact you read my post you would read that I was trying to figure out how to give them proper notice while staying true to how I would like to do it.  Unfortunately, that has not been addressed much, just my timing and/or my want of having specific wording. 

And yes, I do believe a buffet is tacky-- that doesn't mean anyone else has to agree with me nor do I think it's a bad idea if that is what someone truly loves, it is indeed their day.  I'm not looking to argue opinions but if you are aloud to so bluntly state yours don't be shocked when others do the same.

Not to mention: if someone leaves my reception hungry it is because they chose not to eat-- as shrimp cocktail, crab cakes, bacon wrapped scallops, 6 different types of breads, 4 different types of oils, asparagus & goat cheese crostini, tomato bruschetta, 7 different kinds of warm/cool nuts, fruit kabobs, 10 different cheeses and spreads with breads/crackers to accompny and 4 different types of desserts should be more than enough to satisfy ones needs. 

I was just simply looking for help with wording.

Sorry, it's not what you want to hear, but this isn't enough for a meal. It would sound tasty for a cocktail hour or for a non-meal time reception. I actually like the food you're serving...a lot...but there would honestly be nothing there that my husband (and a lot of his guy friends) would eat besides some cheese and crackers (and that's certainly not a meal...)

Can you move your ceremony to a later time?

Here are your options:

-Serve actual dinner food, keep ceremony time.

-Serve food listed above, move ceremony/reception to about 60-90 minutes later

-Keep everything the same, have hungry guests and have many people leave your reception early because they're hungry

 

FWIW, I gave you proper invitation and reception card wording, but you didn't even say thank you.

 

 

brittleigh13

itzMS:  I see that now-- I apologize for not acknowledging your wording.  I do like it. 

So if I moved it back just an hour???  I don't want to go too late as I am worried about the older generation.  My family is very, very spread out.  We tried to have a centralized location as much as possible but still many will need to drive an hour to get there.  The older generation won't stay long and I don't want them having to drive late.  Moving it back to 7:30 I can deal with.  Knowing my guests-- they would be much more upset with a late timing rather than the food situation.  I actually got the food requests from our closest friends/family so again, I'm just not overly concerned but I also do see where the concern could be.

AprilH81

southernbelle0915 said:

brittleigh13 said:

No, I would not invite guests over at dinnertime-- without a proper notice that dinner would not be served...

If in fact you read my post you would read that I was trying to figure out how to give them proper notice while staying true to how I would like to do it.  Unfortunately, that has not been addressed much, just my timing and/or my want of having specific wording. 

And yes, I do believe a buffet is tacky-- that doesn't mean anyone else has to agree with me nor do I think it's a bad idea if that is what someone truly loves, it is indeed their day.  I'm not looking to argue opinions but if you are aloud to so bluntly state yours don't be shocked when others do the same.

Not to mention: if someone leaves my reception hungry it is because they chose not to eat-- as shrimp cocktail, crab cakes, bacon wrapped scallops, 6 different types of breads, 4 different types of oils, asparagus & goat cheese crostini, tomato bruschetta, 7 different kinds of warm/cool nuts, fruit kabobs, 10 different cheeses and spreads with breads/crackers to accompny and 4 different types of desserts should be more than enough to satisfy ones needs. 

I was just simply looking for help with wording.

My DH and I are also unique, but we used our inserts and website to allow for more creative freedom. The actual invitation wording just says the who, when, where, what. I would just say "Please join us for drinks and hors d'oeuvres at ________."

Just make sure whatever you're serving is enough to constitute a meal since it's at meal time. People aren't being spiteful by telling you that - it's just that if there's not enough food people will leave and it won't be as successful as you imagine. People are just trying to help.

I hope no one is allergic to sea food (or just not like it) otherwise they may be going hungry.  Breads and spreads aren't enough to be a meal.

kkcaper14

Is there a reason you are just doing appetizers and not a sit down dinner?  I would at least have much heavier appetizers or stations - I don't think that is enough food.  Maybe a pasta station, carving station?  Also - you clearly haven't been to events with buffets done right before!  I've been to many events and weddings with fabulous buffets that were far from tacky  Most of the venues I looked at had a buffet priced the same as a plated dinner.  I think based on the timing of your wedding most people will assume you are serving a meal - especially if you use the word "dining".  

NYCMercedes

I think that heavy apps, such as you've described, sound lovely. I assume some will be out and that not all served. That way people can load up on the available ones without having to wait for a waiter. A meal doesn't have to be a sit down, plated meal. Back to the wording, however. I have no words for you. I'm just a computer person who lokes to eat!

mysticl

While your food does sound very good it does not sound like enough to constitute dinner.  You also have a lot of high allergen foods on there (shellfish, wheat, nuts, dairy) that could limit some people's ability to eat or even be at your reception.  While you may know if any of your relatives have allergies you may not know about some of the friends/coworkers invited or their dates.  

I have been to parties where the appetizers constituted dinner and it was a lot more food and a much greater variety than you have listed there.  

brittleigh13

Again, thank you all for your opinions on my food choice.  This board was meant for help with my invitations I thought?  Which I've gotten very little-- hence my reasoning for being a bit annoyed at some of the posts. 

southernbelle0915

brittleigh13 said:

Again, thank you all for your opinions on my food choice.  This board was meant for help with my invitations I thought?  Which I've gotten very little-- hence my reasoning for being a bit annoyed at some of the posts. 

Many apologies for taking time out of my day to try and help you with tips that might help to make your event more successful. /*sarcasm   Really, OP? It's kind of a slap for people who tried to help you out from their experiences at others' weddings and their own what was successful and what wasn't. 

The point is that whether or not you use the words "frosty" or "under the starry sky" isn't as important as whether or not you properly host your guests. So people focused on that because this is a public WEDDING forum and people can comment on whatever they want. You can also choose to just ignore whatever you want. 

My advice still stands that "Please join us for drinks and hors d'oeuvres at ______" sounds great. Doeydo also gave you some good suggestions.

mysticl

Here's the thing, when people talk about your wedding afterwards, and they will, the invitations are not what they will talk about, it will be the food.  

HisGirlFriday13

brittleigh13 said:

Again, thank you all for your opinions on my food choice.  This board was meant for help with my invitations I thought?  Which I've gotten very little-- hence my reasoning for being a bit annoyed at some of the posts. 

All of the other posters HAVE given you helpful advice. They have told you your invitations are inappropriate for what you're planning because what you are PLANNING is rude. The fact that you don't like that doesn't mean the advice wasn't helpful.

You came here and asked a question, then got snippy when posters didn't fart unicorns and rainbows all over your (rude, tacky, inappropriate) idea. You don't have to like our answers, but you do have to realise that posting on an internet forum means people will give you answers and opinions, even if you don't want them.

The poster who wrote that people won't remember the invites but will remember the food was correct -- the only time people remember invites is when there's a mistake (Cf, a friend of mine and her husband were going to exchange 'vowels before God') or when there's wrong information (Cf., dining, when you don't actually plan on feeding your guests a full meal).

Your choices are to move your ceremony/reception to a non-meal time; or to serve more substantial foods than you are planning to serve. Otherwise, trust me, people WILL talk about what a tacky wedding reception with no real food -- I can personally think of two weddings off the top of my head that I've attended where that's what I remember about them; they were at a meal time and I didn't get food. 

All of that being said, I realise you're not going to change your mind, because it's your SPESHUL DAY DAMMIT, so, here's advice:

Bride & Groom 

request the pleasure of your company

as they are united in marriage 

at 6:30 p.m. Saturday, May 2, 2014

They invite you to an evening celebration with dancing, drinks, and hors d'oeuvres under the soft spring sky in America's heartland immediately following the ceremony.