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African American Weddings

Kid Question...

I got a question for the parents getting married. FI and I have 8 kids between us from previous marriages ranging in every age group. I have mentioned to him possibly doing a destination wedding and he likes the idea a lot. My question is, is it bad to leave or even want to leave your kids behind to get married?

My extended family is HUGE and after writing my guest list down, there isn't too many people on the list that I just gotta have at my wedding other then my parents, my kids, and my wedding party who are my dearest friends and sister (4 ladies total). He feels the same way. Why spend all this money to feed people that we really don't like or they don't like us to begin with. Why go through all the hassel for people who ain't really gonna care 1 way or the other. When instead we can do something smaller with the people who we love and support us. We we're going to Aruba already for our honeymoon. I did a search and found a hotel that I like. Most of our guest would have had to travel to Kentucky, so why not just head to Aruba? I don't mind leaving mine behind to take a honeymoon, and he doesn't mind leaving his kids behind at all (ex wife issues), but would I be wrong if I left them out of the wedding? Like are they missing out? He wants to take a big family trip later on in the fall or over spring break with all 8 of the kids. I just don't want them feel left out. I'm becoming overwhelmed...

Oh just in case you all wanna know, the kids ages are:

22, 20, 14, 12, and 2 his
18, 8, and 5 mine
They will all be 2 years older or almost by the time this wedding happens.

Re: Kid Question...

  • I'm a little confused I think. You want the kids at the destination wedding and then want to leave them and have private honeymoon? Or you don't want the kids at the destination wedding or honeymoon. Can you clarify?
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  • I say let the kids attend the wedding and let them go back home with parents, grandparents etc. when its time for the HM. imo you guys kids will be upset they wasnt apart of ypur big day. You dont want to look back at your wedding photos and be like damn...I wish my babies could of been there.
    imageimage May2013 October Siggy:Honeymoon:Putna Cana http://1badwedding.weebly.com/
  • The original plan was the traditional big ol' wedding with all the kids in it. But his family is not big (about 100), and mine is (about 300). I really don't like a lot of my family (can't stand the fakeness), and my circle of friends is really really small, so I asked him how he felt about a destination wedding. He really likes the idea and I do too. I want our wedding to be a happy celebration, not a free food/liquor party. And the only real people I care about coming are my parents, my friends, and my sister. His ex is already complaining about the wedding not being on his weekend (mind you its a year in half away), so he doesn't want to deal with her. I don't mind the kids being there, that's not the problem. I just don't want my kids there if his aren't gonna be there. I don't want his kids to ever feel left out. And I know they will once they see the pictures. I don't my kids to feel left out if we decide not to take them.

    Ok I'm taking a breather...I tend to over think...lol
  • I say make every effort to have both his and your kids there.
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  • marsm4 said:
    I say make every effort to have both his and your kids there.
    this

    Daisypath - (PNE7)
  • I feel you on not wanting to have the whole shabang...but I agree with @marsm4...at least make sure both sets of the kids are there is all possible on his end..hopefully the EX will get. over her self and the let the kids come !
    imageimage May2013 October Siggy:Honeymoon:Putna Cana http://1badwedding.weebly.com/
  • TY Ladies. That's the same conclusion I came up with too. We maybe moving dates around and reworking some things, but ultimately they should be there too. I'm a people pleasing perfectionist, and that is not good for wedding planning :-(
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