registry items - sets vs. pieces

Stan721

Hello! I'm hoping some of you could provide some input. We were working on our registry last night and had a discussion about whether we should request a set of pots and pans or select pieces. Anyone else explore this topic? My concern is that, since the set is pretty pricey, that we might have no one get it for us and that by selecting the pieces we give people more options and increase the odds of being gifted the items. The set would cost less in the long run, but I feel kind of greedy/selfish asking for something so expensive. In general I hate asking people for things, so the overall registration experience has been a bit of a challenge for me.

Related, we have sort of a "yours, mine, and ours" situation when it comes to our belongings. The pots and pans came with him, and are along the lines of a starter set (good brand, just the most basic version). We're also debating whether it makes more sense to just add to what we have and keep the originals, or get new and donate/give away the ones we have. Thoughts on both? Thanks!

OliveOilsMom

Usually for large items, groups can go in on one gift.  Do you know if that's commonly done in your family?  Also, you may end up with gift cards for the particular store you registered at, so you can just purchase the pots & pans set yourself.  If it will save money in the long run to register for the full set, I would do that.

I guess another thing to consider is how much would you actually use your pots.  And are you an avid cook.  I feel if you are cooking all the time a higher priced (and usually better quality) pot set will last a lot longer.  But if you don't cook frequently, then maybe just add to your current set.

JMalettas

 This is a hard one, isn't it? You may have a better chance of receiving at least a couple of pots & pans, if you register for them separately, & not in a set. If it's something you really need, maybe registering for them separately is a better idea. We had a decent set prior to our registry. Not top of the line, but a nice set that there's really nothing wrong with. Other than they were my first set when I moved out, like 5 years ago. One of those things that we could 'upgrade' on. We decided, (because we didn't 'hate' the idea of keeping our old ones, & didn't want mix & match), that we would just register for the set. If we got it, *awesome*, and if we didn't, then we still had a decent set at home anyways. 

 The set that we registered for, we did end up receiving, & plan to start using it when we purchase a home. The old set, we're going to continue to use until we move, then when we're done with them, we're thinking of moving them into the camping trailer. If we didn't have an alternate use for them, we would have given them away, (as we plan to do with a few 'upgraded' items). To me, it makes more sense to give them to someone, who you know is starting out, or could use them, rather than adding to your collection & having a mix of 2 sets. 

 Congrats on your upcoming wedding!

 *J

photokitty

Resister for both, if you dont get the set, but several of the separate pieces you can return exchange them for the set. The set is usually a better deal, and you just might get it. I wouldn't side eye an expensive set of pots & pans anymore than i would a pricey kitchen aide mixer. GL!

fre3doms

We registered for a set. I have a few random pots and pans but felt like I wanted a set. We picked the 10 piece set which was the smallest. I like cooking and plan on doing it a fair amount when we're married. Also registered for an electric wok and skillet. We also picked a grill pan since we love steak and fish. Our set is like $200 and I figure some people might go in on it together. We have a few groups that we are inviting. That may be the way I get that or my kitchen aid mixer.

mlg78

How much is the set you're looking at?  Mine wasn't terribly pricey -- $100.  My coworkers went in on a shower gift and got me that, a tent, other camping supplies a hand mixer and mixing bowls.  I also got a number of actual gifts as wedding gifts so I could see someone getting that if it hadn't been purchased already.  I think if it's under $175 or so, register for the set...it's cheaper that way.  Or you may also get gift cards for whatever store it is.  Lastly, shop around.  I chose BBB over Macy's just because my china pattern was cheaper there so we ended up at BBB, Kohls and Target.

allispain

I had this same dilemma when deciding whether or not to register for a stand mixer - I have always wanted one, but felt weird about putting something so pricey on our registry. As my mom reminded me, often people will go in on group gifts to buy something more expensive, especially something that is as common as a stand mixer. So, still feeling a bit guilty, I put in on the registry. It just so happened to be the very first thing that was purchased and sent to us (my aunt and uncle and their two adult children who are also both married went in on it, so it was actually quite reasonable when split between them).

If you want the set, register for it and see what happens. If no one buys it for you, you can always use gift cards or checks to buy it for yourselves after the wedding (and depending on the store where you are registered, you'll be able to do so for a reduced amount due to their "completion discounts").

tammym1001

We have a nice set of pots and pans. What I've found with it though is that we end up sometimes needing more pots and pans in the same sizes depending on what we're cooking. For example, if we're making a big batch of pasta we need two big pots, one for sauce and one for noodles. The set only came with one big pot though. So I would say register for the set and then some additional separate pieces so that way people will have a choice.

annathy03

If the set regularly goes on sale for $300 or less I'd register for the set. It always seems to work out cheaper per piece to do the set, and at that price point it's not unreasonable for a few people to go in on it together. If it's a really pricey brand then I would do pieces unless they have a good completion discount and you want to buy it yourself after.

SP29

Always with a registry and pricing- know your crowd. Does your family buy large gifts? If you know many of your guests don't have much of a disposable income, then break things up into smaller items. 

Though, as said, a family may go in together on one larger gift. And, most registries have completion events where you could buy the set later for a discounted price if you don't get it. 

It also depends on the set. I don't consider a pot/pan set to be *too* big or too much. But, something else like dinner ware is often sold in pieces. For example, we have registered for 12 place settings, each setting is sold separately, so it would be much more budget friendly for 12 guests to each purchase a place setting, versus putting on 3 sets of 4 place settings. 

As for whether to go new or add to your existing pieces, I think that depends on the condition of the pieces and quality of the pieces. I think this is a good time to register for or purchase on your own (with the completion event) products that are high quality and are going to last you many many years into your marriage. Of course consider the budget of your guests (like not choosing the most expensive pot/pan set), but most guests want to give you something of good quality, not something that is going to crap out in a year or two. 

In our case, FI and I have a lot of "cheap" items (as we are both students)- kitchen stuff from the dollar store (which has actually last pretty good!), stuff from Wal-Mart, or the cheapest option at Canadian Tire, etc. so though we haven't chosen the most expensive items, we picked high quality products for our registry, as we hope to replace our "old" stuff with new items that will last 10-15 years (whether that is from gifts, or if we buy them ourselves through the completion event...I think I was most excited for that part!). 

Xstatic3333

I think it really depends on how expensive you're talking. I agree with PPs; if the set is under $200, I'd add it, or it plus individual pieces.

Now in our case, we are really serious cooks so we registered for some All Clad d3 stainless pieces in the sizes we use the most. That full set is pushing $1000, and there is no way I could have brought myself to add it to our registry. It would have felt really greedy with our crowd and their typical price points. As individual pieces, however, everything got purchased pretty quickly, and one of the givers mentioned how glad they were to get us something nice we'd use for years.

Stan721

Thanks for all of the input! To be honest, I'm not super sure what my family will want to do, so I need to talk to my mom and get her input. I feel as though pieces would be a little more accessible to most guests, though I also wouldn't rule out the possibility of people going in on things together. You all make some really good points, though. 

We decided to go with Bed Bath and Beyond, largely because we go there a lot anyway, like their selection, and they have stores all over the place (our guests are pretty spread out). I think we may add another store as we didn't love the china options at BBB. But you can't beat the 20% off coupons you can get for BBB, so that kind of makes me a little less anxious about asking for things that are on the expensive side. 

We are interested in getting a new set of Calphalon, which is about $400 (hopefully, if someone did get it for us, they'd use the 20% off and it would be 320 ). My fiance has a "basic" set of Calphalon (its the set you can get from Target or Kohls), and I have an assortment of inherited pieces and things I picked up over the years as I needed them. There isn't really anything wrong with the pieces, the issue is mainly with lids - we have a limited supply of them, and they don't have vents so things tend to bubble out and over and spill and it makes me crazy. Also, as someone else mentioned, we tend to need multiples of the same size items, which we don't currently have. The pans for the most part are fine, I just lean toward asking for the set so that everything matches (the set also comes with lids for the pans!) We do a decent amount of cooking and enjoy cooking and baking, so they are things that will get used. 

I would also be perfectly fine with receiving gift cards and buying it all ourselves. I would actually almost prefer to do that than picking all this out and asking people for it!

I feel like this is the dumbest thing to be worrying about but I just can't make a decision  

hoffse

Honestly I would probably register for the pieces separately, then return what you get and buy the set with store credit.  It's an extra step, but BBB makes returns easy, and you WILL be taking a trip there one way or the other to return duplicates, etc.

The other thing to consider is how many of the pieces in that set you will actually use.  You might be better served registering for the 8 piece set instead of the 13 piece set, and then adding an extra skillet or whatever to round out the smaller set.  Cookware takes up too much space to have pieces you will never use. 

daveANDkristen

What hoffse said.  Register for the individual pieces, and return them to buy the set. 

JoanE2012

photokitty said:

Resister for both, if you dont get the set, but several of the separate pieces you can return exchange them for the set. The set is usually a better deal, and you just might get it. I wouldn't side eye an expensive set of pots & pans anymore than i would a pricey kitchen aide mixer. GL!

Oh, please don't register for both!  As a guest, if I saw the set and individual pieces, I wouldn't buy any of that cookware.  I hate that awkward moment when two guests end up getting the same thing.  Or, in this case, a group gets the set and I give an individual piece.  

I registered for individual pieces.  I received most of them.  I used gift cards to buy the additional pieces.   I considered returning and buying the set, but I remember there were pieces not in the set that I wanted and something was in the set that I really didn't need.  

AprilH81

photokitty said:

Resister for both, if you dont get the set, but several of the separate pieces you can return exchange them for the set. The set is usually a better deal, and you just might get it. I wouldn't side eye an expensive set of pots & pans anymore than i would a pricey kitchen aide mixer. GL!

This is what we did at the suggestion of our registry consultant.  I always question their advice because they are more concerned with sales instead of etiquette but the reasoning made sense.

kitty8403

Honestly, a good registry stays up for a long time (months-years), and I view it primarily as an organizational tool where I can see things we need/would like and how they relate to other things we need/would like.

In general, if a set is available, I am registering for the set. If I feel we will need extra place settings or another item that is the same, then I am adding that separately. I already have lots of small items that hit lower price points. If we do not get everything we registered for, well, that's life and we will adjust. We will still have lots of time to buy things for ourselves later if we want to.

lizandmark2014

My 2 cents is : 

            1. Know your crowd a little. ( they like to go in on big gifts ect.) 

             2. Some sets can be bought/ registered for pot by pot. 

            3. Sets of pots have some "dog" pots in the mix. ( for example if company X makes 3QT stock pots and a set.  The 3 QT stock pots that are not up to the standard of being sold individualy will be put in the set.) 

            4. Pick a brand with a decent warranty. 

             5. register at a store with a good return policy.

casey8784

My FI wasn't really feeling it about putting really pricey things on the registries, so we brought it down by price point: there's lot of things under like, $50 or so, then a good amount between $50-$100, and then the higher the amount of money, not as many items. The really pricey things, like a new stand mixer or a new chef's knife block set (i'm not a professional but I know my way around the kitchen. I love taking cooking classes and I cook almost every day, and these are something I usually wouldn't buy myself, even when my mixer is basically being held together with duct tape!) are only on the registry cause we have some family members or family friends who told us to specifically put certain items on the list and they would buy it as soon as the list "went public"

(font/size just got all crazy on me...not sure why...haha)

lizandmark2014

Sometimes you need the same size/ kind of pot to cook different parts of a meal.