Pre-wedding Parties

Am I being completely insane or totally justified? Bachelor Party Woes....

My fiancé and I are both having our bachelor/bachelorette parties this week but I am completely uncomfortable with his party plans. To make a long story short the party is supposed to be at a strip club where a girl that absolutely hates me works. I asked all the groomsmen to go to any club strip club or not but that one. The sticky situation is that the girl is the gf of one of the groomsmen (which to me makes it even worse...why would you want your friends to see your girl like that?). I just feel completely disrespected and am not sure what to do. My fiancé knows how I feel and has repeatedly told them he does not want to goto that particular club but it's still being planned there. He's saying he won't go which is not what I want either. Gah why does it have to be so complicated? Any thoughts or suggestions?

Re: Am I being completely insane or totally justified? Bachelor Party Woes....

  • Blue_BirdBlue_Bird Bawlmer
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
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    My fiancé and I are both having our bachelor/bachelorette parties this week but I am completely uncomfortable with his party plans. To make a long story short the party is supposed to be at a strip club where a girl that absolutely hates me works. I asked all the groomsmen to go to any club strip club or not but that one. The sticky situation is that the girl is the gf of one of the groomsmen (which to me makes it even worse...why would you want your friends to see your girl like that?). I just feel completely disrespected and am not sure what to do. My fiancé knows how I feel and has repeatedly told them he does not want to goto that particular club but it's still being planned there. He's saying he won't go which is not what I want either. Gah why does it have to be so complicated? Any thoughts or suggestions?
    Yes, I'd be irritated too. It looks like the party planners are thinking of themselves, and not of your FI. It looks like he's got it under control though. It's his choice not to go. He will live if he doesn't have a bachelor party. Perhaps once they see that he is serious about not going, then they'll plan something else. If they don't, perhaps another good friend will plan a boys' night out. Either way, it's nothing for you to involve yourself in.
  • It's not complicated. Your fiance is in complete control of his actions. If he doesn't want to go to this particular club and he tells his buddies "Sorry guys, but if you're trying to go to that club, I'm out" and sticks to his word this is a non-issue. 

    Obviously his friends don't think he's serious about not attending or they'd be planning it at a different club. This is your fiance's issue - not yours.
    *********************************************************************************

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    grumbledoremelbelleup
  • scribe95 said:

    Maybe this girl is getting them deals on drinks etc and that is why they are going there?

    I personally wouldn't worry too much about it. I mean what specifically are you concerned about? Do you trust your FI not to do anything?

    These are my thoughts.

    Even though the girl is the GF of one of the groomsmen...she's still a stripper. She's still there to do her job just like anyone else. FI would be seeing the same goodies at any other club regardless if he knew the girl(s) or not.

    I don't see what the big deal is, especially since you're okay with strip clubs in general.

  • Thanks for the insight probably just freaking out with the wedding in 5 days, just not the extra stress we needed. It's not about trust, I hate those sort of comments. I feel that it is disrespectful that a woman that does not support us is involved in the planning. This person has literally broken my car windows. Just frustrated. I'll bite the bullet though I don't need the extra drama of a fight with her.
  • Do you know if she's for sure going to be there that night?  Maybe she won't be.  And if she is then guess who gets to laugh about how this girl is such a ho that now all her bf's friends have seen her naked?  You.
    erinlin25melbelleupMrsDeRuyter87japrincess24
  • kss20 said:
    Do you know if she's for sure going to be there that night?  Maybe she won't be.  And if she is then guess who gets to laugh about how this girl is such a ho that now all her bf's friends have seen her naked?  You.
    Seriously, this.  I can't imagine any of them will have much respect for her after the fact... so perhaps it's good revenge.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    melbelleupMrsDeRuyter87
  • Blue_BirdBlue_Bird Bawlmer
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
    member
    edited October 2013
    kss20 said:
    Do you know if she's for sure going to be there that night?  Maybe she won't be.  And if she is then guess who gets to laugh about how this girl is such a ho that now all her bf's friends have seen her naked?  You.
    It's a job like any other. Clearly it doesn't bother her or her boyfriend. I think that laughing and calling her a "ho" would only make OP look like a jealous and immature person. I hope you take the high road, OP. Just focus on marrying the love of your life.
    southernbelle0915topchefnotramen
  • tammym1001tammym1001 Akron, Ohio
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Answers
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    I'm just curious what you're worried is going to happen if they go to a strip club where a girl who doesn't like you works? You said her BF is a GM so I'm assuming he'll be there too. You won't be there and you're the one she doesn't like. Do you think she will try to hit on your FI? Do you think she will say mean things? I'm just not sure what you're worried about exactly.
    image
  • @Blue_Bird

     

    We're really not friends are we? 

    melbelleup
  • Blue_BirdBlue_Bird Bawlmer
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
    member
    kss20 said:

    @Blue_Bird

     

    We're really not friends are we? 

    Nope. I don't know you, but I suspect I've offended you in some way.
  • I haven't read other responses so sorry if this is a repeat answer!

    If you FH had stated to his BM/GMs before plans were made that he did not want to go there for whatever reason,(he doesn't even need to actually give them a reason!) they should have respected that. He needs to tell them that he requested to not go there and will not. He may have to deal with the outcome that he may not get a bachelor party(doubtful, since men don't seem to be as near as finicky as women), but he should stand by what he originally said.
  • I personally wouldn't marry my fiancé if he cheated-I mean went to a strip club- right before our wedding. 
    [Deleted User]MalMondo1020
  • I personally wouldn't marry my fiancé if he cheated-I mean went to a strip club- right before our wedding. 

    It's fine if you're not comfortable with strip clubs, but don't prance around a public forum calling it cheating when it's not even close.
    NYCMercedesemmyg65
  • photokittyphotokitty where I want to be
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    mod
    edited October 2013
    I personally wouldn't marry my fiancé if he cheated-I mean went to a strip club- right before our wedding. 
    Do you cover his eyes during the sexy parts of a R-rated movie? Or is anything over PG cheating too??
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

    msdds51banana468aurorajanette
  • I wouldn't be enthused, but I also know that FH would KILL his BM and GM if they were planning something he told them not to.

    Also, I don't think the PP about laughing because she is a HO is meant to be "let's publically berrate her in front of as many people as possilbe" more like "when it starts to bother you, just think about how she is a ho and let it go, no reason to let a ho get you down!"

    I would certrainly use this mentality.Anything to keep it from bothering you.  

  • I guess I understand your situation a little bit- we have one groomsman whos girlfriend hates me and has tried to break up me and my FH. And I wouldn't want my FH going to a strip club where he knows a girl that strips there ( I would be afraid he would be comparing us, on a regular basis if he sees her again).

    but don't let this stress you out girlie! Just focus on your special night, it seems your man has it under control and he respects your wishes, and may not be too fond of her himself. Just keep cool, and don't let the pressure of the wedding make you say or do something you may regret in the future. 
  • How bout you grow up? You want your man to cheat, guess that's your own lack of self-esteem. Guess I have higher standards.
    [Deleted User]
  • By that same logic, sweetheart, don't "prance around in a public forum" saying it's not cheating. Bitch.
  • Fran1985 Fran1985 Narnia
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper
    member
    By that same logic, sweetheart, don't "prance around in a public forum" saying it's not cheating. Bitch.
    @knotporscha- this is against the TOS I think. And totally uncalled for.

    Also going to a strip club is not cheating. It may not be ok with you, which is fine, but in no world is it cheating.

    image
    photokitty
  • By that same logic, sweetheart, don't "prance around in a public forum" saying it's not cheating. Bitch.

    Wow. This was completely uncalled for @kaitborristobe - every couple has different thresholds for defining cheating. 
    image
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    By that same logic, sweetheart, don't "prance around in a public forum" saying it's not cheating. Bitch.
    If you are going to join a forum simply to troll around in an attempt to stir the pot, at least have the good sense to learn how to properly quote. Decent grammar, spelling, and sentence structure would also help your cause.
  • jneen101jneen101
    500 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    member
    edited December 2013

     Guess I have higher standards.

    Nevermind.  I'll be nice.
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