Wedding Etiquette Forum
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Having "no sides"

I have seen lots of cute signs on Pinterest declaring "choose a seat not a side" etc. However, I am not particularly a fan of the shabby chic look, and my wedding is NOT shabby chic... but I would still like a sign or something to let people know we aren't doing a "bride's side" and a "groom's side." We are also not having ushers. Any ideas you've seen or heard of?

Re: Having "no sides"

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    You could have a sign that isn't in that style.  Or have a GM man the door in case anyone asks.  To be truthful, I always thought the split sides thing was stupid and I never ask when I go to a wedding, I just sit where I want as long as it's not reserved.

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    agreed @grumbledore I don't understand it either... like, is it a competition for who's family is bigger or has more friends? B/c I would lose in a heartbeat. My FI's family is HUGE. Mine = tiny. LOL. His side would have to start sitting on my side if that were the case due to lack of space on his side, lol.
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    I don't see why it makes any difference which "side" anyone sits on.  I don't think you need any "cute" signs though.  Just have someone tell your guests to find seats wherever they'd like.
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    We didn't have any sides or ushers either. I debated about a sign, but ultimately went without it. It made me a little nervous, but people found seats no problem. I don't think anyone noticed the absence of a sign or ushers.

    Otherwise, sometimes you can find bulletin boards or chalkboards at Goodwill that will make for nice signs.
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    I wouldn't think too much about where the guests seat themselves.  As long as there's a seat for everyone attending, they'll be happy.  When I walk into a ceremony I gravitate towards people that I know, as opposed to a specific side.
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    I agree, I think sides are dumb. We're getting married in FI's hometown while my hometown is 900 miles away. I'm not going to squeeze his whole family in one side of the church while each of my guests has their own pew to sprawl out in.
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    I think people do it if one side has a lot more guests than the other. In my experience, it's usually the bride on the left (facing the alter/couple) and the groom on the right. People tend to gravitate towards their side.

    So I get why people do it, but I don't think it's necessary. Unless you the bride has 2X the number of guests as the groom, is anyone really going to notice?

    If you do want to do it, and don't want "shabby chic" print it out and put it in a frame in a font that matches your style. Maybe put it next to the programs if you have them or somewhere the guests will see it.
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    Another unnecessary cute sign. People can figure out where to sit easily enough.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    We aren't putting up a sign or using ushers and I'm sure our guests will figure it out for themselves just by seeing where the empty seats are.   The only thing we're doing is reserving the first two rows for family. 
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    I always like to sit on the Bride's side, because I think you can see her better that way.
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    Just something saying it simply, ie. "Please sit wherever you would like".  
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    You could have a sign that isn't in that style.  Or have a GM man the door in case anyone asks.  To be truthful, I always thought the split sides thing was stupid and I never ask when I go to a wedding, I just sit where I want as long as it's not reserved.
    This. If you're having something a little more formal, just print it out in a pretty font and put it in a frame on a small table or stand by the entrance. I do think it's nice to have a sign because people (especially older folks) are trained to sit on the B or G's side. I want a communal feel, so we'll definitely have a sign. 
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    We were supposed to have a sign and my husband forgot to take it to the venue when he took everything else over there. It wasn't an issue at at all. If you end up not finding anything you like, just don't use a sign. People will figure it out. 
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    Will someone explain "shabby chic" to me.

    Also, can I add "chic" to anything? Like retro chic? Ghetto chic? Chic chic?
    Ghetto chic:

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    Retro chic:

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    Pirate chic:

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    Star Trek chic:

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    Polar bear chic:

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    Yes you can add chic to anything these days.  While googling, I discovered that Marie Claire used "Eco chic" on a cover once.  And there's also such a thing as "glam rock chic."
    Lol, oh my god this killed me. Also, there's a bride on Offbeat having a "Post Apocalyptic Chic" wedding. Seriously, that's happening. Any help illustrating that one?





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    Lol, oh my god this killed me. Also, there's a bride on Offbeat having a "Post Apocalyptic Chic" wedding. Seriously, that's happening. Any help illustrating that one?


    Most of the pictures from google are super skanky.

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    That's what I get.

    My understanding of the whole "chic" thing is taking something that's not necessarily chic and making it more high-fashion/fashion forward.  It's kind of weird, IMHO.
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    We didn't have sides at our wedding, and we didn't have ushers or a sign. People just found a seat and sat down. I don't think it's something you need to worry about.
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    Will someone explain "shabby chic" to me.

    Also, can I add "chic" to anything? Like retro chic? Ghetto chic? Chic chic?
    Ghetto chic:

    image

    image

    Retro chic:

    image


    Pirate chic:

    image

    image

    Star Trek chic:

    image

    image

    Polar bear chic:

    image

    image



    Yes you can add chic to anything these days.  While googling, I discovered that Marie Claire used "Eco chic" on a cover once.  And there's also such a thing as "glam rock chic."
    Lol, oh my god this killed me. Also, there's a bride on Offbeat having a "Post Apocalyptic Chic" wedding. Seriously, that's happening. Any help illustrating that one?


    Post Apocalyptic Chic.. WTF would that look like??? I mean, considering the apocalypse if supposedly the end of the world, right???
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    I don't think sides are necessary. 

    I actually went to a wedding once in which the usher immediately said, "Who's side are you on?" upon entering the church. My clueless husband said, "Is someone fighting? I'm not on anyone's side."

    We've been laughing about it ever since. 
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    I don't necessarily want to have sides either, but I want our very close family and elder people to be up front...would I let those people know where they're supposed to sit, or just have an usher?
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    maryemoo said:
    I don't necessarily want to have sides either, but I want our very close family and elder people to be up front...would I let those people know where they're supposed to sit, or just have an usher?
    We're just letting our family know the first two rows are reserved for them and we'll also put small "reserved for family" signs on those seats.
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    WonderRed said:
    maryemoo said:
    I don't necessarily want to have sides either, but I want our very close family and elder people to be up front...would I let those people know where they're supposed to sit, or just have an usher?
    We're just letting our family know the first two rows are reserved for them and we'll also put small "reserved for family" signs on those seats.
    Great, thanks!
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    Schatzi13 said:
    WonderRed said:
    maryemoo said:
    I don't necessarily want to have sides either, but I want our very close family and elder people to be up front...would I let those people know where they're supposed to sit, or just have an usher?
    We're just letting our family know the first two rows are reserved for them and we'll also put small "reserved for family" signs on those seats.
    I imagine you'd want to put just "Reserved" on those seats. Otherwise, second cousins once removed Bob and Patty might sit there, since they're also family.

    Good advice!
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    WonderRedWonderRed member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper First Anniversary
    edited October 2013
    Schatzi13 said:
    WonderRed said:
    maryemoo said:
    I don't necessarily want to have sides either, but I want our very close family and elder people to be up front...would I let those people know where they're supposed to sit, or just have an usher?
    We're just letting our family know the first two rows are reserved for them and we'll also put small "reserved for family" signs on those seats.
    I imagine you'd want to put just "Reserved" on those seats. Otherwise, second cousins once removed Bob and Patty might sit there, since they're also family.
    We have three parents and four siblings coming so we'll be just fine.

    ETA:  Sorry, that came unintentionally snarky.  For someone have a larger wedding with extended family that's definitely good advice. 
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