Oh, this is not on me

WonderRed

When we did our guest list I asked FI if, in addition to his best friend, he wanted to invited the BFs sister, her DH, and his parents, all of whom live here in the area.  FI said no.   Yesterday was our RSVP deadline.  A bunch of people FI invited declined, unexpectedly.   FI was just on the pone with his best friend and totally out of the blue told him "hey we're going to have room now. Why don't you tell your sister her DH and your parents they can come."    



I like these people enough that I suggested putting them on the guest list in the first place so I would love to see them.  But I also like them enough that I would rather not invite them at this point than throw them a verbal B-list bone  three weeks before the wedding.  And they aren't just a couple of random, single buddies who wouldn't know better and wouldn't care. These folks will know they got B listed.   This one is SO not on me, Mr.!!  Except that it is by association and I'm pretty much mortified. 

Anything I can/should do other than this?



ETA:  I guess the good news is, if you recall my post on chit chat about a week ago about the BF's psycho girlfriend preventing him from coming to the wedding ... well they broke up so now he is coming after all.  So yay for that part.

GypsyWife_

Wow!!! Sounds like something my husband would do. I would just apologize to them . I don't how else to fix it besides sending them a fruit basket.

tigersgirlgv

No advice, but yay that his best friend will be there! 

Vivandiere8

I might be alone in this, but I would rather figure out that I was B-listed by getting an invite late than No- listed by getting non at all. I would feel happy knowing the couple wanted me there, and found a way in the end to fit it into their wedding budget.

Also so happy to hear you friend broke up with his girlfriend!! I mean... could make it to your wedding.

WonderRed

I talked to FI about it last night and he said he realized what he'd done shortly after he did it and he'll handle apologizing to them for the last second invite.  He said BF is having a hard time so he wanted to tell him to bring someone else with him the day of now that he's single again and that's just the way it came out of his mouth.  I get where FI's coming from on that but I still feel like a heel.

What if men wrote all the etiquette books?   We need a LOL thread on that.

Grabows14

Thank god your friend got out of that relationship.

climbingsingle

I'm glad to hear his best friend broke up with the psycho! 

CLI242009

Vivandiere8 said:

I might be alone in this, but I would rather figure out that I was B-listed by getting an invite late than No- listed by getting non at all. I would feel happy knowing the couple wanted me there, and found a way in the end to fit it into their wedding budget.

I know it's not proper to have one but I do know with today's economy & couples paying for everything themselves I would understand if I was B listed *shrugs* So no you're not alone in this, WE might but you're not flying solo  

WonderRed

CLI242009 said:

Vivandiere8 said:

I might be alone in this, but I would rather figure out that I was B-listed by getting an invite late than No- listed by getting non at all. I would feel happy knowing the couple wanted me there, and found a way in the end to fit it into their wedding budget.

I know it's not proper to have one but I do know with today's economy & couples paying for everything themselves I would understand if I was B listed *shrugs* So no you're not alone in this, WE might but you're not flying solo  

Except it has absolutely nothing to do with budget or now having the physical space to add more people.  We just wanted to keep the wedding at about 30-35 guests, even though our space can accommodate as many as 50 something and still have room for dancing, and he chose other folks over them. We've had the ability to properly invite them all along, had FI wanted to put them on the list when I suggested them.   That = not ok.

CLI242009

WonderRed said:

CLI242009 said:

Vivandiere8 said:

I might be alone in this, but I would rather figure out that I was B-listed by getting an invite late than No- listed by getting non at all. I would feel happy knowing the couple wanted me there, and found a way in the end to fit it into their wedding budget.

I know it's not proper to have one but I do know with today's economy & couples paying for everything themselves I would understand if I was B listed *shrugs* So no you're not alone in this, WE might but you're not flying solo  

Except it has absolutely nothing to do with budget or now having the physical space to add more people.  We just wanted to keep the wedding at about 30-35 guests, even though our space can accommodate as many as 50 something and still have room for dancing, and he chose other folks over them. We've had the ability to properly invite them all along, had FI wanted to put them on the list when I suggested them.   That = not ok.

Oh no, I agree with what your FI did was just baaaad. When I said I don't mind being B listed, meaning I understand if someone you are closer with or you want family members over friends at your wedding I would be okay with being B listed. Sounding as if you FORGOT to put me on the list and then adding me as an after thought no that would hurt my feelings. 

I hope that makes more sense. 

[Deleted User]

Lol @ if men wrote etiquette rules!!!

My FI honestly wants to have a reception where he can invite everyone he knows but doesn't want to spend any money and is making me out to seem like a bridezilla because if we're not going to have a 30 person elopement type inclusive wedding, we are dang sure going to have a proper one!! If it were up to him (and he told me this) we would rent out the community center and people would come and we would all hang out. No food, no table cloths, no music because everyone had an iPhone "duh", no structure, just 100 people in an empty community center congratulating us on our wedding ceremony (he doesn't think anyone should be invited to!)

And that was a big rant!! Sorry!!!