So we found THEE ring...

CrownednKissed

So... this past Saturday, the boy and I went ring shopping for the second time and I found my ring. I didn't think I'd actually find something, but I did. And little did I know he was ready to purchase. He put a huge deposit on the ring/diamond and in two weeks it will be in his possession. In such excitement I shared this with a good friend of mine, who didn't seem to be too excited for me, as she and her S.O. have been together for nearly 8 years and is a little bitter about not having been proposed to. I immediately noticed her vibe, quickly ended my ring adventure story, and changed the subject.

My BF and I haven't talked about sharing this info, but I'm a woman, and I love sharing such great news like this with my closest friends. However, since she didn't seem to happy for me, it deterred me from telling another one of my closest girlfriends. 

Thoughts? 

Should I just waited until after the proposal to share engagement info? Should I tell my mother that we found a ring? My BF is very traditional, so I wouldn't be surprised if my Mother knows already, as he's adamant about his relationship with my Father; they share everything. I'm bubbling with joy and can't keep this to myself... 

KeptInStitches

Glad you found the ring! I would try to enjoy this part of your relationship - even though he'll have the ring soon, he might not propose right away, or, in fact, for a while yet.

On that note, welcome! Favorite beverage (alcoholic/non)?

buddysmom80

CrownednKissed said:

So... this past Saturday, the boy and I went ring shopping for the second time and I found my ring. I didn't think I'd actually find something, but I did. And little did I know he was ready to purchase. He put a huge deposit on the ring/diamond and in two weeks it will be in his possession. In such excitement I shared this with a good friend of mine, who didn't seem to be too excited for me, as she and her S.O. have been together for nearly 8 years and is a little bitter about not having been proposed to. I immediately noticed her vibe, quickly ended my ring adventure story, and changed the subject.

My BF and I haven't talked about sharing this info, but I'm a woman, and I love sharing such great news like this with my closest friends. However, since she didn't seem to happy for me, it deterred me from telling another one of my closest girlfriends. 

Thoughts? 

Should I just waited until after the proposal to share engagement info? Should I tell my mother that we found a ring? My BF is very traditional, so I wouldn't be surprised if my Mother knows already, as he's adamant about his relationship with my Father; they share everything. I'm bubbling with joy and can't keep this to myself... 

Just like with wedding planning, no one is going to be more excited about an upcoming proposal than you and your BF.

I'm in the same situation, there's a group of friends who are freaking ecstatic for me, and a group of friends that could give two shits. So the people who care, when I'm excited I share the info, the people who don't care, I don't share. They have their own lives going on.

Also the people who I do share info to, I don't blab on and on for hours. It's usually "oh BF got the diamond" and that's it.

Shiroyasha

Sometimes people are jealous and it happens.  I'm kinda like that when my friends prattle on about one of their friends getting engaged and all the wedding planning that's going on.  I don't mind a little bit of talk about it, but sometimes we all get so caught up in the excitement and hype that we forget that there are other things going on and that maybe engagements/weddings are a sore spot for some.

But if it was my direct friend coming to me about being engaged or that their SO has bought the ring, I would be excited as all hell and probably would talk about it with them all night if they wanted to.

Congrats on your BF finding the ring.  It's a step towards an exciting part of your life!

[Deleted User]

Congratulations on your SO finding the ring!  Such an exciting time!

I wanted to echo the other ladies: I have a group of girlfriends who squeal anytime I mention what SO and I are talking in terms of engagement/marriage/timeline, but i usually just mention, "Oh, hey, he said blah blah blah," and move on. 

bethsmiles

Congrats on finding the ring

@buddysmom80 is 100% right when she says that no one will be excited as you about your upcoming engagement (or when you are engaged, your wedding). I'm one of those people who in general doesn't get all squee, omg! about hearing about someone else possibly upcoming engagement. I'm excited for my friends who get engaged but I really don't want a play by play while they are waiting. I usually only mention something about BF proposing if someone asks about it or I might mention it briefly when discussing something else.

I also have to second KeptInStitches, just because he has the ring doesn't mean he will propose right away. I know one of the women on here had a BF who had the ring for over a year before proposing. So try to keep your mind occupied with other things.

CLoGreenEyes

I absolutely agree with the other ladies on here. I think it's fine to mention things here and there as they come up, but unless folks are asking a lot of questions, there is no need to go into tons of detail. Your friends and family will certainly be happy for you, but it's definitely true that you and your FI will be the most excited of all.

As for the specific friend you mentioned, while I don't think you need to *keep* things from her like this (it's your life, you're friends, you share about your lives with each other), I would make the effort to be extra sensitive in this regard and make sure you don't let it creep into all of your conversations. I'm sure she is happy for you, but like you said, it might be a sore spot, and she might just need a moment to take it in and refocus a bit. As the friend who has been on that side, I was super-excited for my friend when she got engaged, but I did have my own mini pity party for a minute before I could think rationally about it, if that makes sense. She might just be experiencing something similar.

CrownednKissed

You ladies are right! Thank you soo very much. I'm a full-time graduate student, so my mind is definitely occupied on tons of other things. It was just a spark in my week full of writing, researching and studying. I'm a very initiative person, so I read people extremely well. She actually called me today, rambling on and on about HER plans for MY wedding..LOL. So maybe the initial conversation wasn't such a good time for her. I respect that. No biggie. I've told Friend B, and she squealed and squealed all night... So I got my girly fix. However, I do realize that there is no one that will be more excited about this process than me and my SO. And I'm going to relish these moments. 

bethsmiles

@CrownednKissed - I'm a full time grad student too! What is your area of study? What is your research on? I love hearing about other people's school stuff, I'm weird like that