Wedding party HELP!

mrsrossi918

Hi girls! I need some help.. maybe I just even need help convincing myself I'm making the right decision. I am 1 of 7 and have only one sister. She will be my matron of honor. I have 5 best girlfriends who have been a part of my life forever, some for 20 years and some for 10-12. My problem is this- I have 2 sister-in-laws who are local and I am wondering if it's completely wrong that I am not having them a part of my wedding party? I was in one of their weddings but to be honest, I am not super close with them as far I am concerned. They haven't made any comments about being in the wedding but I am just wondering if it's wrong of my to have my 5 best girlfriends but not my 2 sister-in-laws who I USED to be close with but really no longer am. This is the last thing I need to worry about!! Please tell me, am I being crazy and making it bigger than it is?!

manateehugger

Not wrong. Your bridesmaids should be your nearest and dearest friends; if that doesn't include FSIL's, that's just fine. And being a bridesmaid is not tit for tat. 

I'd personally probably get them a corsage or maybe ask them to be readers to smooth over potentially ruffled feathers, but even that's not required. 

If they want to make a stink of it, suggest they be groomswomen for your fiance. No one gets to decide who your bridesmaids are but you.

itzMS

Agreed. Not wrong.

None of our siblings were in our wedding party.

mrsrossi918

Thank you! Just to be clear too since I did not mention this- the girls are my brother's wives. I have known them both a long time and they have been in my life for years and years! I just feel bad! I'm hoping that if anything maybe they don't even want to be in the wedding because it's costly, etc. They are both a little older.

manateehugger

mrsrossi918 said:

Thank you! Just to be clear too since I did not mention this- the girls are my brother's wives. I have known them both a long time and they have been in my life for years and years! I just feel bad! I'm hoping that if anything maybe they don't even want to be in the wedding because it's costly, etc. They are both a little older.

Oh, well then I definitely wouldn't worry about it! I was thinking you were worried about future SIL's. 

I wouldn't dream of being upset if my SIL didn't ask me to be a bridesmaid while she married some other dude. 

AddieCake

What does them being older have to do with it? 

mrsrossi918

I mentioned that they are older because one has a new young child and the other struggles with monthly bills so I figured maybe they'd be kind of like whew! if I didn't ask because it can be financially challenging. Most 40 year old women I know have said they wouldn't even want to be a bridesmaid because they are past that time of their lives and have other things to worry about financially. Obviously, everyone's situation is different though.

mlg78

I honestly don't even understand why people have their significant other's siblings stand up for them.  Why don't they stand up for the person they're related to?  If your fiancé wants them in the wedding, he can have them on his side.  Simple as that.

ei34

You said it in your last sentence- you're making it bigger than it is.  I get along very well with my hubby's two sisters, I always have, but they weren't in my bridal party.  It should be your absolute nearest and dearest.  Don't stress about this too much, and happy planning!

kitty8403

Honestly, they aren't your closest friends, and they aren't single, so I don't think it's necessary to do this. Perhaps they just want in on the girly stuff. Maybe you can include them in things like your shower or Bach party, or host a home spa day?

I never had to worry about sisters, but I am putting close friends before extended family, and only one of those women is married. If we needed to change things around, I would ask single cousins or friends before married women.

SP29

Deep breath!

It's not a requirement to have family members in the wedding party. Choose your nearest and dearest only. 

I also do not think age or marital status has anything to do with being in a WP either. Ask who would like to be involved, they are free to decline for whatever reason. 

mrsrossi918

Thank you al so very much! I do feel better about my decision and know it's the right one for me. One thing though, I think some are getting who the women are confused. These are MY brother's wives.. my sister-in-laws that way have known them since long before I ever even met my fiancé and was a part of both of their weddings to my 2 brothers. Either way, I think I'm set and I'll try to make them a part of the wedding day as much as I can in another way! Thank you all again!

malibuconfcenter

Well, there is nothing wrong in it. You can always have your dear ones as your bridesmaid.