When Should I Start Stressing?

mrstobe2014

I have a 4 bridesmaids, 3 of which live out of state. I decided to just give them a color and a fabric, letting them pick their dresses out. My plan was let them find a dress in the their budget. It seemed to be working in the beginning, but now the wedding is in 4 months. Only one maid has ordered her dress. And none of them have made travel arrangements. I don't want to stress too much, but it is hard not to think about it. And I just recently found out one of my maids lost her job. Should I offer to purchase her dress? I just don't know what to do. I think all this wedding planning has my mind warped. Maybe it's nothing to worry about...??

manateehugger

Uhh if you gave them free reign over what dress they wear, you shouldn't be stressing until a few days before the wedding. I'd be annoyed with you if you were bothering me about a dress I could grab at the store/online at any time four months before the wedding. 

And what are they supposed to do - book a domestic flight 4 months out? No way.

As for the lady who lost her job, I'd leave it on her for now, personally, to say something about her budget. I'd maybe say something generic like "Let me know if I can help you out in any way" and let her take it from there for now, anyway. If it gets to be another couple months and she's still struggling, maybe offer to pay.  

BREATHE! You have four months - that's more than enough time. 

mlg78

I told my girls "David's Bridal in lapis" and only 1 ordered right away...the other 3 lingered.  I also started stressing about 4 months out.  At 2 months out the other 3 ordered all within a week.  I think they realized just how close the date was getting.  If it gets closer to 2, why not set up a lunch date with them and turn it into a shopping trip to at least look at dresses?  I was with each of my girls when they bought at their request, not mine.  I guess they wanted me to approve.

southernbelle0915

Don't worry about the dresses or their travel arrangements. They'll get them ordered and they'll show up on your wedding day. If one doesn't, then you have 3 BMs. 

As far as purchasing the dress for your BM who lost her job... if it's in your budget it's a nice thing to do. If you don't pay for it, then just make sure you give her an option that is in her NEW budget.

msuprincess04

Zappos ships dresses overnight. So, really, they could get a dress the day before and be fine. I wouldn't stress about the dress. As for the travel arraignments, it's on them to figure them out. You can't make anyone save time or money. Control what is in your world to control and leave the rest to deal with their own responsibilities.

NYCMercedes

mrstobe2014 said:

I have a 4 bridesmaids, 3 of which live out of state. I decided to just give them a color and a fabric, letting them pick their dresses out. My plan was let them find a dress in the their budget. It seemed to be working in the beginning, but now the wedding is in 4 months. Only one maid has ordered her dress. And none of them have made travel arrangements. I don't want to stress too much, but it is hard not to think about it. And I just recently found out one of my maids lost her job. Should I offer to purchase her dress? I just don't know what to do. I think all this wedding planning has my mind warped. Maybe it's nothing to worry about...??

Please relax. They have four months. NBD

ei34

You said it in your last sentence- it's nothing to worry about.  I asked my three bridesmaids to pick any dress they liked in any shade of purple.  They all bought them within one month of the wedding.  I didn't stress about it once.

Same goes for travel arrangements.  They'll all be where they're supposed to be on your wedding day. It's considerate of you to be thinking about your bridesmaid who lost her job - I think offering to purchase her dress would be a nice idea.

 

kitty8403

This is exactly why my group is talking dresses and such 9 months out. We're all in different states, too.

Wedding planning can turn stressful anytime you realize you don't have control. But unless you intend to book their tickets and buy the gowns yourself, you have no real control here. Trying to micromanage won't help.

If you specified a store's swatches or one designer, and you know how far out those dresses can be made and it's crunch time, I'd be concerned too. If they just have a color and anything goes, well, then they still have time.

SP29

Well, I would book domestric travel 4+ months out, because prices increase the closer you get to the travel date, but maybe that's just me...

BUT that's not up to you to worry about, that's up to each individual BM to worry about her own travel arrangements and buying the dress. There is still lots of time for the dress. My BMs are getting their dresses from DBs and DBs takes 6 weeks or less to order a dress (got my wedding dress in 4 weeks). 

As for the BM who lost her job, I agree that it would be appropriate to ask her as a friend how she is doing and offer her any help if she'd like it. 

kitty8403

SP29 said:

Well, I would book domestric travel 4+ months out, because prices increase the closer you get to the travel date, but maybe that's just me...

BUT that's not up to you to worry about, that's up to each individual BM to worry about her own travel arrangements and buying the dress. There is still lots of time for the dress. My BMs are getting their dresses from DBs and DBs takes 6 weeks or less to order a dress (got my wedding dress in 4 weeks). 

As for the BM who lost her job, I agree that it would be appropriate to ask her as a friend how she is doing and offer her any help if she'd like it. 

Agreed. I would absolutely expect people to make travel arrangements 4+ months out, but that's because I live in a popular tourist area and things book quickly. But I don't think the OP needs to babysit her BMs about flights, other than maybe a polite reminder. They're grownups.

manateehugger

I fly about every month, and I never book a domestic flight more than 2ish months out. Most people recommend 6-8 weeks.