Bridesmaid robes

PrettyGirlLost

jneen101 said:

If they pitched a holy fit about it though (as some of you said you'd do), I doubt I would have been friends with them in the first place, NOT because I'm that egocentric about my own wedding, but because I'd rather be with people that are easygoing and fun instead of high strung and defensive about every little thing.

Well, I don't know anyone personally who would actually throw a real temper tantrum like a baby, but they might not be happy inside about it.  If it was me, of course I wouldn't say anything to the bride because she obviously thinks ROBES ARE COOL so inside I would just be annoyed that someone made me wear an ugly robe but I certainly wouldn't complain to her about it or stomp around like an asshole.  It's possible that in the history of ugly robes, bridesmaids have worn them but were unhappy about it and the brides just didn't know it

Getting dressed is a very personal and private thing for a lot of people. 

When I was a child and in highschool and was a dancer and acted in musicals, I had to dress and undress in rooms full of people. . . I had to strip down to my underwear right off stage and switch into a huge, floofy ballgown while reciting lines as part of Rodgers and Hammersteins Cinderella during the scene where she's transformed from "rags to riches" in order to go to the ball.  I did it because I enjoyed dancing/musicals but I would have preferred to have a private room to change in.

Now in my 30's I have no desire to change in front of other people, and I especially don't want to be photographed while not dressed, robes or no.  I dunno how I'm gonna pull off getting into my bridal gown w/o everyone around, now that we are discussing this, lol!

The point is, in the grand scheme of things and what you will actually pay money to print, your BM's getting ready in robes is not of high importance.  Please consider their feelings. . . no matter what they say about it to your face.

jenniferurs

Welp, not doing the matching button up shirt thing anymore. Thanks, girls.

thefuturemrssisk

TO GIVE SOME POSITIVE FEEDBACK TO THE OP: I'm getting robes for my girls too, but I'm having them monogrammed myself because it's much cheaper. I got knee-length plush spa robes so they're actually extremely comfortable and warm, and they're going to look great in our pictures. I got them at Kohl's when they were having a sale, but I guess it depends on what color you wanted to get (Kohl's has pretty limited color availability for robes, but I wanted black, so I got lucky). Just ignore everyone saying they would give them to Goodwill. I've gotten plenty of things that weren't exactly what I would've wanted, but the fact that someone took the time to buy it for me and then have it monogrammed meant something to me. I don't know what kind of friend would refuse to wear and then throw away a gift. And honestly, I would much rather have the cute pictures of my girls getting ready than the posed, fake-looking pictures of them just standing in some dresses. Good luck to you on finding some!

banana468

It's great if your BMS are cool with that but plenty of women just don't want to be photographed when they aren't dressed and every bride needs to respect the modesty wishes of their attendants.

MGP

To all brides: other than the bridesmaid dresses STOP dictating what grown ass adults wear. End of story.

jneen101

thefuturemrssisk said:

 Just ignore everyone saying they would give them to Goodwill.

LOL yes ignore everyone saying they would hate a robe.  Good advice.

Liatris2010

thefuturemrssisk said:

TO GIVE SOME POSITIVE FEEDBACK TO THE OP: I'm getting robes for my girls too, but I'm having them monogrammed myself because it's much cheaper. I got knee-length plush spa robes so they're actually extremely comfortable and warm, and they're going to look great in our pictures. I got them at Kohl's when they were having a sale, but I guess it depends on what color you wanted to get (Kohl's has pretty limited color availability for robes, but I wanted black, so I got lucky). Just ignore everyone saying they would give them to Goodwill. I've gotten plenty of things that weren't exactly what I would've wanted, but the fact that someone took the time to buy it for me and then have it monogrammed meant something to me. I don't know what kind of friend would refuse to wear and then throw away a gift. And honestly, I would much rather have the cute pictures of my girls getting ready than the posed, fake-looking pictures of them just standing in some dresses. Good luck to you on finding some!

So matching dresses look fake, but matching robes don't? And while you might want to hang pictures of your undressed friends in your living room, I can safely say most people would be mortified to walk into a friend's home and see an 8x10 of themselves in their underwear prominently displayed.

antoto

I am giving robes to my ladies as well in a "swag bag" - separate from their gift.  My photographers wont be taking pictures of them while in robs - it's purely just a fun extra - if they don't want to wear it I TRULY do not care.  I had some extra money to spend after I got gifts for them and thought some of the may appreciate it.  I think it's important here to know your crowd.  One of my BM is getting married 2 weeks after me and will also be giving her maids robes - so clearly she is a fan of the idea as well.

I think giving them the robes but then also requiring they wear it for photos may be insensitive - depending on your crowd.  Maybe skip the photos?  

antoto

Hmmmm it's not letting me edit my above comment.

I would also suggest not having it monogrammed.  My grandmother gave me monogrammed things when I was a child and I really didn't understand it - I knew my initials... why did I need to parade around in them?  Still feel that was about it now. 

MobKaz

thefuturemrssisk said:

TO GIVE SOME POSITIVE FEEDBACK TO THE OP: I'm getting robes for my girls too, but I'm having them monogrammed myself because it's much cheaper. I got knee-length plush spa robes so they're actually extremely comfortable and warm, and they're going to look great in our pictures. I got them at Kohl's when they were having a sale, but I guess it depends on what color you wanted to get (Kohl's has pretty limited color availability for robes, but I wanted black, so I got lucky). Just ignore everyone saying they would give them to Goodwill. I've gotten plenty of things that weren't exactly what I would've wanted, but the fact that someone took the time to buy it for me and then have it monogrammed meant something to me. I don't know what kind of friend would refuse to wear and then throw away a gift. And honestly, I would much rather have the cute pictures of my girls getting ready than the posed, fake-looking pictures of them just standing in some dresses. Good luck to you on finding some!

Offering reasons as to why something might NOT be a good idea is also positive feedback. Differing perspectives are not automatically negative perspectives.  

You seem much more preoccupied with the photos these robes will bring YOU rather than how the "gift" will be received from the perspective of your BM's.  If a BM chooses not to be photographed in loungewear, are you going to be gracious about that?

A black plush robe sounds like a giant magnet for catching all things fuzzy and dusty.

Sugargirl1019

I am doing robes for my bridal party, but it's not their gift. I wished I had a robe at the last two weddings I was in, so I got them for my girls since I'm paying for their hair to be done together. Pictures won't be able to be taken until an hour before, so the girls will just put the robe on again over their strapless gowns and take a cutesy picture touching up makeup for my speshul snowflake-ness.

I wouldn't monogram them because it's not part of their gift,and that costs a little bit more.

afterimage

Well... this was a fun read.

I will not be giving robes to my BM's just because I don't think it is necessary.  I agree with everyone else that it might be kind of weird for some people to be photographed in them.

I like to wear robes at home, but if I received one, I would want it to be one of the comfy thick warm ones and not a monogrammed silk one.  Sounds like many people don't want them, anyways, which is why I wouldn't bother.

MGP

thefuturemrssisk said:

 Just ignore everyone saying they would give them to Goodwill.

Why would you spend money on something for someone that you KNOW they don't want and would immediately give away? Just because you want matchy matchy pictures? That's so high school and self centered. And if you go ahead and still do it Goodwill will end up with a bunch of cheap pink satin robes with "Bridesmaid Ashlee 7-7-07" on the back. Who would buy that? For the majority of people out there that aren't interested in a robe - it's a complete waste of time and money.

jenniferurs

MGP said:

jneen101 said:

thefuturemrssisk said:

 Just ignore everyone saying they would give them to Goodwill.

Why would you spend money on something for someone that you KNOW they don't want and would immediately give away? Just because you want matchy matchy pictures? That's so high school and self centered. And if you go ahead and still do it Goodwill will end up with a bunch of cheap pink satin robes with "Bridesmaid Ashlee 7-7-07" on the back. Who would buy that? For the majority of people out there that aren't interested in a robe - it's a complete waste of time and money.

Maybe I'm old fashioned, but I would never give away a gift given to me. Whether or not it's to my personal taste, I always keep gifts and will even wear them occasionally out of sheer nostalgia alone. But then, I'm a huge sap when it comes to my nearest and dearest.

Fairyjen1

    Personally, I would love a robe. I do a lot of theater and I could use one for getting ready and putting on makeup. I'm having my sister and niece as attendants. They do theater as well and I know they would use them for the same purpose. If I were really getting into it I'd embroider the comedy/tragedy masks onto it to make them more theatrical. I'm actually planning to renew their Disneyland passes for them as a thank you so probably no robes.

   That said, I know generally it's considered a tacky bridesmaid gift, if I were having, say some cousins, as attendants, I wouldn't go that route. If I had a bunch of my theater friends as attendants it would make more sense. I think it's a know your crowd.

antoto

So yesterday after reading this I went and tried on the robe I'll be giving to my sister and these things are very long (to the knee... longer than many cocktail dresses my friends wear) and covered me all the way to my collar bone.  I do not understand when people compare them to underwear.  WHAT KIND OF UNDERWEAR ARE YOU PEOPLE BUYING????

climbingsingle

A robe is totally different than underwear. But that doesn't mean I want to be photographed in one. A robe is something I wear in my house that only my FI sees me in. 

banana468

antoto said:

So yesterday after reading this I went and tried on the robe I'll be giving to my sister and these things are very long (to the knee... longer than many cocktail dresses my friends wear) and covered me all the way to my collar bone.  I do not understand when people compare them to underwear.  WHAT KIND OF UNDERWEAR ARE YOU PEOPLE BUYING????

WHY WOULD I WANT TO BE PHOTOGRAPHED IN A FULL LENGTH BATHROBE?? If I only wear jammies and a bathrobe upstairs and won't even eat breakfast without being dressed, why should I want to wear a bathrobe somewhere else and why should I anticipate photographs???

PrettyGirlLost

mobkaz said:

thefuturemrssisk said:

TO GIVE SOME POSITIVE FEEDBACK TO THE OP: I'm getting robes for my girls too, but I'm having them monogrammed myself because it's much cheaper. I got knee-length plush spa robes so they're actually extremely comfortable and warm, and they're going to look great in our pictures. I got them at Kohl's when they were having a sale, but I guess it depends on what color you wanted to get (Kohl's has pretty limited color availability for robes, but I wanted black, so I got lucky). Just ignore everyone saying they would give them to Goodwill. I've gotten plenty of things that weren't exactly what I would've wanted, but the fact that someone took the time to buy it for me and then have it monogrammed meant something to me. I don't know what kind of friend would refuse to wear and then throw away a gift. And honestly, I would much rather have the cute pictures of my girls getting ready than the posed, fake-looking pictures of them just standing in some dresses. Good luck to you on finding some!

Offering reasons as to why something might NOT be a good idea is also positive feedback. Differing perspectives are not automatically negative perspectives.  

You seem much more preoccupied with the photos these robes will bring YOU rather than how the "gift" will be received from the perspective of your BM's.  If a BM chooses not to be photographed in loungewear, are you going to be gracious about that?

A black plush robe sounds like a giant magnet for catching all things fuzzy and dusty.

I love soft, plush robes and wear them at home, BUT
I would never allow myself to be photographed in a robe or w/o hair and make up done.  Ever.  Not even for a friend or family member's wedding.  I like to try and look half way decent in pictures.

I wouldn't make a big deal about it, but I would just leave the area if the photographers showed up and started to get snap happy and I wasn't dressed yet.

antoto

I'm gathering that people do not have such a problem with robes themselves but with being photographed in them

Good thing I'm not putting my ladies through that

MGP

jenniferurs said:

thefuturemrssisk said:

 Just ignore everyone saying they would give them to Goodwill.

Why would you spend money on something for someone that you KNOW they don't want and would immediately give away? Just because you want matchy matchy pictures? That's so high school and self centered. And if you go ahead and still do it Goodwill will end up with a bunch of cheap pink satin robes with "Bridesmaid Ashlee 7-7-07" on the back. Who would buy that? For the majority of people out there that aren't interested in a robe - it's a complete waste of time and money.

Maybe I'm old fashioned, but I would never give away a gift given to me. Whether or not it's to my personal taste, I always keep gifts and will even wear them occasionally out of sheer nostalgia alone. But then, I'm a huge sap when it comes to my nearest and dearest.

True, just may people here commented on they would get rid of the robe immediately so that's why I said it's a waste of money.  Someone like me would probably give it away after a while, but when it's personalized you are stuck, you know?  I try and keep my belongings in good condition and like to pay it forward with large donations, and custom made things aren't very marketable after the fact even if someone is in need.  Seriously, I work with homeless teens who would give a major side eye to a hand me down robe with someone else's name on it.  It's just weird.

banana468

antoto said:

I'm gathering that people do not have such a problem with robes themselves but with being photographed in them

Good thing I'm not putting my ladies through that

Exactly. If you have me a luxurious terrycloth robe I'd love it. But I'd prefer not to be photographed in it. Even on Christmas morning I was dressed and in real clothing before the present exchange.

Pepper6

For me, it's not so much that I wouldn't want to be photographed in a robe, if that's what the bride wanted, then I could suck it up for a few pics (I'd probably wear normal clothes and just throw the robe on over top for a pic).  But my biggest issue is that I wouldn't want my friend to waste money on something I'd never use again after her wedding.  Those things don't come cheap, especially if they are personalized, and it's just not something I'd ever use in daily life, so I'd feel terrible that she wasted the money.

If you really wanted something 'matchy' for getting ready pictures, I'd select a plain colored zip-up hoodie.  It still gives a uniform look, but it's real clothing that people would feel more comfortable being photographed in, and it has a much higher chance of being reused after the wedding so you don't feel like you've wasted the money.

In all honesty though, I think matchy getting ready pictures are so overrated and more of a hindrance on your day than a special memory to capture.  For my wedding, we were all spread out and in different stages of 'readiness' that made any type of formal pictures impossible.  It would have been way more stress to try to get everyone in one room in their matchy outfits for a picture because everyone would have had to stop what they were doing and it would have thrown our whole schedule off.  Not to mention, the few pics I do have of actually getting ready, were of my mom and one of my BMs helping me into my dress (while my other BMs were still getting dressed).  My BM was already dressed, my mom was in her normal clothes...and it looked FINE.  It showed what it's really like getting ready for a wedding, not just a staged picture.

antoto

Pepper6 said:

For me, it's not so much that I wouldn't want to be photographed in a robe, if that's what the bride wanted, then I could suck it up for a few pics (I'd probably wear normal clothes and just throw the robe on over top for a pic).  But my biggest issue is that I wouldn't want my friend to waste money on something I'd never use again after her wedding.  Those things don't come cheap, especially if they are personalized, and it's just not something I'd ever use in daily life, so I'd feel terrible that she wasted the money.

If you really wanted something 'matchy' for getting ready pictures, I'd select a plain colored zip-up hoodie.  It still gives a uniform look, but it's real clothing that people would feel more comfortable being photographed in, and it has a much higher chance of being reused after the wedding so you don't feel like you've wasted the money.

In all honesty though, I think matchy getting ready pictures are so overrated and more of a hindrance on your day than a special memory to capture.  For my wedding, we were all spread out and in different stages of 'readiness' that made any type of formal pictures impossible.  It would have been way more stress to try to get everyone in one room in their matchy outfits for a picture because everyone would have had to stop what they were doing and it would have thrown our whole schedule off.  Not to mention, the few pics I do have of actually getting ready, were of my mom and one of my BMs helping me into my dress (while my other BMs were still getting dressed).  My BM was already dressed, my mom was in her normal clothes...and it looked FINE.  It showed what it's really like getting ready for a wedding, not just a staged picture.

Hoodies are actually not a great thing for getting ready - My hair stylist told me she hates them because it messes with the hair stuff.

mimiphin

antoto said:

Pepper6 said:

For me, it's not so much that I wouldn't want to be photographed in a robe, if that's what the bride wanted, then I could suck it up for a few pics (I'd probably wear normal clothes and just throw the robe on over top for a pic).  But my biggest issue is that I wouldn't want my friend to waste money on something I'd never use again after her wedding.  Those things don't come cheap, especially if they are personalized, and it's just not something I'd ever use in daily life, so I'd feel terrible that she wasted the money.

If you really wanted something 'matchy' for getting ready pictures, I'd select a plain colored zip-up hoodie.  It still gives a uniform look, but it's real clothing that people would feel more comfortable being photographed in, and it has a much higher chance of being reused after the wedding so you don't feel like you've wasted the money.

In all honesty though, I think matchy getting ready pictures are so overrated and more of a hindrance on your day than a special memory to capture.  For my wedding, we were all spread out and in different stages of 'readiness' that made any type of formal pictures impossible.  It would have been way more stress to try to get everyone in one room in their matchy outfits for a picture because everyone would have had to stop what they were doing and it would have thrown our whole schedule off.  Not to mention, the few pics I do have of actually getting ready, were of my mom and one of my BMs helping me into my dress (while my other BMs were still getting dressed).  My BM was already dressed, my mom was in her normal clothes...and it looked FINE.  It showed what it's really like getting ready for a wedding, not just a staged picture.

Hoodies are actually not a great thing for getting ready - My hair stylist told me she hates them because it messes with the hair stuff.

Zip up hoodies are fine, its BunnyHugs that aren't good (over the head) for getting ready, same with t-shirts and tank tops. More often than not they end up getting cut off the bride before getting dressed

jneen101

antoto said:

I'm gathering that people do not have such a problem with robes themselves but with being photographed in them

Good thing I'm not putting my ladies through that

It seems like a lot of people here just don't like/want robes in general too.  It's not just the photos in robes that is the problem. 

antoto

mimiphin said:

antoto said:

Pepper6 said:

For me, it's not so much that I wouldn't want to be photographed in a robe, if that's what the bride wanted, then I could suck it up for a few pics (I'd probably wear normal clothes and just throw the robe on over top for a pic).  But my biggest issue is that I wouldn't want my friend to waste money on something I'd never use again after her wedding.  Those things don't come cheap, especially if they are personalized, and it's just not something I'd ever use in daily life, so I'd feel terrible that she wasted the money.

If you really wanted something 'matchy' for getting ready pictures, I'd select a plain colored zip-up hoodie.  It still gives a uniform look, but it's real clothing that people would feel more comfortable being photographed in, and it has a much higher chance of being reused after the wedding so you don't feel like you've wasted the money.

In all honesty though, I think matchy getting ready pictures are so overrated and more of a hindrance on your day than a special memory to capture.  For my wedding, we were all spread out and in different stages of 'readiness' that made any type of formal pictures impossible.  It would have been way more stress to try to get everyone in one room in their matchy outfits for a picture because everyone would have had to stop what they were doing and it would have thrown our whole schedule off.  Not to mention, the few pics I do have of actually getting ready, were of my mom and one of my BMs helping me into my dress (while my other BMs were still getting dressed).  My BM was already dressed, my mom was in her normal clothes...and it looked FINE.  It showed what it's really like getting ready for a wedding, not just a staged picture.

Hoodies are actually not a great thing for getting ready - My hair stylist told me she hates them because it messes with the hair stuff.

Zip up hoodies are fine, its BunnyHugs that aren't good (over the head) for getting ready, same with t-shirts and tank tops. More often than not they end up getting cut off the bride before getting dressed

probably depends on how you are doing your hair - but sometimes the hood can get in the way of the iron/brush/whatever.  At least that's what my stylist said.  Life if you are doing something like a low chignon it could mess with it or make the stylist's job harder.  But this would depend on the bulkiness of the hood and your hairstyle.

Maggie0829

I am sure that if you or one of your BMs are wearing a zip up hoodie and the stylist thinks that it will get in the way of the hairstyle or make it difficult for her to work then she will politely ask for you to remove it.  I think we are making this a bigger issue then it really is.  

And again, most women know to wear something, like a button down shirt, that is easy to take off and won't interfere with their hair.

cosenti7

I was just getting excited last night about buying my BMs floral robes, but this post has me convinced that they would not be appreciated! Especially since they are not cheap, I'm glad to have saved myself the money. Maybe I'll just get myself one!

Also, I'm a pretty modest person and most of the robes I've seen online haven't been too risque, but I want all the girls to feel comfortable. Thanks! HAHA

Jena8ly

When I wear a robe at home, it's usually over a tank top and yoga pants. I agree that you shouldn't buy something like a robe for your BMs if it's not their thing, or because you expect them to wear it getting ready. I especially agree that they cannot be considered gifts if you ignore all the advice on here, and buy them anyway. I'm just confused why everyone seems to think this bride expects you to be naked under the robe? In which case I definitely agree with the poster who remarked this as creepy.