Need to be married to have a "reception"?

cidefi

Teddy917 said:

marshmallow1982 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

marshmallow1982 said:

why not make it an engagement party? Then it will still be wedding-related

You can't host your own engagement party.  It has to be offered to you by another family member or friend.

says who? why are people on this board so negative? Any positive suggestion is shot down.

The OP can do whatever she wants as far as I'm concerned, leaving party/engagement party/wedding party.

Nobody was negative. It's just not polite to throw a party for yourself. It comes across as "Pay attention to me because I'm so special and everyone needs to celebrate me!"

******************************************************
U people need to make up your minds....LoL. You tell this woman that she can't have reception to have a party. But then you she say can't host her on party. You people are the most ridiculous hipicricks ever, and I find all this to be very funny.

You all sit around and tell us not to assume what our guest would think or want. But yet that's what you do. You are assuming. You're assuming that this couple doesnt know their own friends and family well enough to know that they would understand this couples situation. These people are leaving 1 state and moving to another. For whatever reasons they can't get married in Oreagon before they leave and they do not want to get married without their parents. The OP already said that their parent can not travel which is why their waiting to get married in the 1st place. These people want to do something nice for the 1's they love in Oreagon. We don't know why their guest won't come to Kentucky and really who cares. That's not our business.

OP do what's gonna make you and your future husband happy. I doubt that you lose any friends over this. If I knew you in real life, I would be happy for you either way. I dont see weddings or receptions as gifts to me. They are blessings and I feel honored to be included. The couple owes me nothing, so whatever they do for their day that makes them happy is good enough for me. Its their day, about them, and they should never do anything just to please their guest. If you think what people do is so improper, then check DECLINE on the RSVP card and don't show up. I wouldn't want some old judgemental hags at my wedding anyway, wasting my money watching you eat all my food and suck down my booze...smh. WEDDINGS ARE NOT ABOUT THE GUEST AND THE SHOULD NOT BE A PRIORITY!!

RebeccaB88

WEDDINGS ARE NOT ABOUT THE GUEST AND THE SHOULD NOT BE A PRIORITY!!

HisGirlFriday13

cidefi said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

marshmallow1982 said:

why not make it an engagement party? Then it will still be wedding-related

You can't host your own engagement party.  It has to be offered to you by another family member or friend.

says who? why are people on this board so negative? Any positive suggestion is shot down.

The OP can do whatever she wants as far as I'm concerned, leaving party/engagement party/wedding party.

Nobody was negative. It's just not polite to throw a party for yourself. It comes across as "Pay attention to me because I'm so special and everyone needs to celebrate me!"

****************************************************** U people need to make up your minds....LoL. You tell this woman that she can't have reception to have a party. But then you she say can't host her on party. You people are the most ridiculous hipicricks ever, and I find all this to be very funny. You all sit around and tell us not to assume what our guest would think or want. But yet that's what you do. You are assuming. You're assuming that this couple doesnt know their own friends and family well enough to know that they would understand this couples situation. These people are leaving 1 state and moving to another. For whatever reasons they can't get married in Oreagon before they leave and they do not want to get married without their parents. The OP already said that their parent can not travel which is why their waiting to get married in the 1st place. These people want to do something nice for the 1's they love in Oreagon. We don't know why their guest won't come to Kentucky and really who cares. That's not our business. OP do what's gonna make you and your future husband happy. I doubt that you lose any friends over this. If I knew you in real life, I would be happy for you either way. I dont see weddings or receptions as gifts to me. They are blessings and I feel honored to be included. The couple owes me nothing, so whatever they do for their day that makes them happy is good enough for me. Its their day, about them, and they should never do anything just to please their guest. If you think what people do is so improper, then check DECLINE on the RSVP card and don't show up. I wouldn't want some old judgemental hags at my wedding anyway, wasting my money watching you eat all my food and suck down my booze...smh. WEDDINGS ARE NOT ABOUT THE GUEST AND THE SHOULD NOT BE A PRIORITY!!

aurorajanette

cidefi said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

marshmallow1982 said:

why not make it an engagement party? Then it will still be wedding-related

You can't host your own engagement party.  It has to be offered to you by another family member or friend.

says who? why are people on this board so negative? Any positive suggestion is shot down.

The OP can do whatever she wants as far as I'm concerned, leaving party/engagement party/wedding party.

Nobody was negative. It's just not polite to throw a party for yourself. It comes across as "Pay attention to me because I'm so special and everyone needs to celebrate me!"

****************************************************** U people need to make up your minds....LoL. You tell this woman that she can't have reception to have a party. But then you she say can't host her on party. You people are the most ridiculous hipicricks ever, and I find all this to be very funny. You all sit around and tell us not to assume what our guest would think or want. But yet that's what you do. You are assuming. You're assuming that this couple doesnt know their own friends and family well enough to know that they would understand this couples situation. These people are leaving 1 state and moving to another. For whatever reasons they can't get married in Oreagon before they leave and they do not want to get married without their parents. The OP already said that their parent can not travel which is why their waiting to get married in the 1st place. These people want to do something nice for the 1's they love in Oreagon. We don't know why their guest won't come to Kentucky and really who cares. That's not our business. OP do what's gonna make you and your future husband happy. I doubt that you lose any friends over this. If I knew you in real life, I would be happy for you either way. I dont see weddings or receptions as gifts to me. They are blessings and I feel honored to be included. The couple owes me nothing, so whatever they do for their day that makes them happy is good enough for me. Its their day, about them, and they should never do anything just to please their guest. If you think what people do is so improper, then check DECLINE on the RSVP card and don't show up. I wouldn't want some old judgemental hags at my wedding anyway, wasting my money watching you eat all my food and suck down my booze...smh. WEDDINGS ARE NOT ABOUT THE GUEST AND THE SHOULD NOT BE A PRIORITY!!

We do know why they won't go to Kentucky. Because she didn't invite them!

And no one said she couldn't host a party. We said that she couldn't host a pre-wedding party for herself. There is a huge difference!

I'm glad you think of your guests as "old judgemental hags" who waste your money and suck down your booze. Because if you don't make your guests and their comfort a priority, they won't be in your life much longer.

And it's OREGON, not Oreagon.

Viczaesar

cidefi said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

marshmallow1982 said:

why not make it an engagement party? Then it will still be wedding-related

You can't host your own engagement party.  It has to be offered to you by another family member or friend.

says who? why are people on this board so negative? Any positive suggestion is shot down.

The OP can do whatever she wants as far as I'm concerned, leaving party/engagement party/wedding party.

Nobody was negative. It's just not polite to throw a party for yourself. It comes across as "Pay attention to me because I'm so special and everyone needs to celebrate me!"

****************************************************** U people need to make up your minds....LoL. You tell this woman that she can't have reception to have a party. But then you she say can't host her on party. You people are the most ridiculous hipicricks ever, and I find all this to be very funny. You all sit around and tell us not to assume what our guest would think or want. But yet that's what you do. You are assuming. You're assuming that this couple doesnt know their own friends and family well enough to know that they would understand this couples situation. These people are leaving 1 state and moving to another. For whatever reasons they can't get married in Oreagon before they leave and they do not want to get married without their parents. The OP already said that their parent can not travel which is why their waiting to get married in the 1st place. These people want to do something nice for the 1's they love in Oreagon. We don't know why their guest won't come to Kentucky and really who cares. That's not our business. OP do what's gonna make you and your future husband happy. I doubt that you lose any friends over this. If I knew you in real life, I would be happy for you either way. I dont see weddings or receptions as gifts to me. They are blessings and I feel honored to be included. The couple owes me nothing, so whatever they do for their day that makes them happy is good enough for me. Its their day, about them, and they should never do anything just to please their guest. If you think what people do is so improper, then check DECLINE on the RSVP card and don't show up. I wouldn't want some old judgemental hags at my wedding anyway, wasting my money watching you eat all my food and suck down my booze...smh. WEDDINGS ARE NOT ABOUT THE GUEST AND THE SHOULD NOT BE A PRIORITY!!

What the fuck is a hipicrick?  Also, the state is Oregon, not Oreagon. 

ETA: Or here's a thought - if you're going to spell Oregon "Oreagon" you ought to spell Kentucky "Kantuckee."  It's only fair. 

Angeles61

cidefi said:

Teddy917 said:

marshmallow1982 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

marshmallow1982 said:

why not make it an engagement party? Then it will still be wedding-related

You can't host your own engagement party.  It has to be offered to you by another family member or friend.

says who? why are people on this board so negative? Any positive suggestion is shot down.

The OP can do whatever she wants as far as I'm concerned, leaving party/engagement party/wedding party.

Nobody was negative. It's just not polite to throw a party for yourself. It comes across as "Pay attention to me because I'm so special and everyone needs to celebrate me!"

******************************************************
U people need to make up your minds....LoL. You tell this woman that she can't have reception to have a party. But then you she say can't host her on party. You people are the most ridiculous hipicricks ever, and I find all this to be very funny.

You all sit around and tell us not to assume what our guest would think or want. But yet that's what you do. You are assuming. You're assuming that this couple doesnt know their own friends and family well enough to know that they would understand this couples situation. These people are leaving 1 state and moving to another. For whatever reasons they can't get married in Oreagon before they leave and they do not want to get married without their parents. The OP already said that their parent can not travel which is why their waiting to get married in the 1st place. These people want to do something nice for the 1's they love in Oreagon. We don't know why their guest won't come to Kentucky and really who cares. That's not our business.

OP do what's gonna make you and your future husband happy. I doubt that you lose any friends over this. If I knew you in real life, I would be happy for you either way. I dont see weddings or receptions as gifts to me. They are blessings and I feel honored to be included. The couple owes me nothing, so whatever they do for their day that makes them happy is good enough for me. Its their day, about them, and they should never do anything just to please their guest. If you think what people do is so improper, then check DECLINE on the RSVP card and don't show up. I wouldn't want some old judgemental hags at my wedding anyway, wasting my money watching you eat all my food and suck down my booze...smh. WEDDINGS ARE NOT ABOUT THE GUEST AND THE SHOULD NOT BE A PRIORITY!!


I just don't know why everyone is so hipicrickikal

Viczaesar

Oooh, I think I figured it out...

hipicrick =


+


Did I get it? 

annathy03

You know, as I was reading this I thought "WTF is a hipicrick?". Thanks for explaining @Viczaesar!


OP, don't get the wrong idea, having a rude idea doesn't make you rude, and the fact that you took the time to run it by people tells me you do care about your guests. I would do a going away party (not wedding related, but you are moving away so people will still make sure to mingle with you, they just won't feel obliged to bring a gift) OR you and your H fly back after the wedding and have a wedding celebration once you're married and have some photos to share.

sarahtrg

Wow! Yikes! I didn't mean to start any sort of heated debate and I'm not purposefully trying to be rude to any of my friends or family. We have our reasons for trying to do things in the order I suggested in my post and while there obviously are varying opinions on the matter here, I guess we will have to reconsider how we approach any "celebration" we have in Oregon...

cidefi

Ok so what's the difference?

And I don't my guest are or will be judgemental hags. I think you people are and I if I knew you in real life I wouldnt want any of you at my wedding...read the post 1st.

cidefi

Oh and I'm loving the pictures. Really they bring so much joy to my heart. Its great to see such perfect people in TK's Etiquette Boards. No one ever miss spelled a word. LoL...I love it!!!

GrrArgh

Are you going to keep posting to yourself every time you think of a "witty" comeback to someones response...? if so I think we're going to be here a while. You may want to take a deep breath, and walk away for a few minutes. 

cidefi

GrrArgh said:

Are you going to keep posting to yourself every time you think of a "witty" comeback to someones response...? if so I think we're going to be here a while. You may want to take a deep breath, and walk away for a few minutes. 

*****************************************************
If you're talking to me, then YES. Yes I'm going to respond to anything that is addressed to me. If someone quotes me, or puts up some stupid picture, then yes...yes I will take time out of my day to respond. Its the proper thing to do. This is an Etiquette Board, I can't be rude and not respond. Oh my word what would people think?? And yes this will probably go on for a while until I get bored :-D

photokitty

cidefi said:

GrrArgh said:

Are you going to keep posting to yourself every time you think of a "witty" comeback to someones response...? if so I think we're going to be here a while. You may want to take a deep breath, and walk away for a few minutes. 

*****************************************************
If you're talking to me, then YES. Yes I'm going to respond to anything that is addressed to me. If someone quotes me, or puts up some stupid picture, then yes...yes I will take time out of my day to respond. Its the proper thing to do. This is an Etiquette Board, I can't be rude and not respond. Oh my word what would people think?? And yes this will probably go on for a while until I get bored :-D

Start your own thread than. It is rude to hijack the OP's thread. Oh my word, that would be rude and you wouldn't want to be rude.

aurorajanette

cidefi said:

Are you going to keep posting to yourself every time you think of a "witty" comeback to someones response...? if so I think we're going to be here a while. You may want to take a deep breath, and walk away for a few minutes. 

***************************************************** If you're talking to me, then YES. Yes I'm going to respond to anything that is addressed to me. If someone quotes me, or puts up some stupid picture, then yes...yes I will take time out of my day to respond. Its the proper thing to do. This is an Etiquette Board, I can't be rude and not respond. Oh my word what would people think?? And yes this will probably go on for a while until I get bored :-D

You know what, thank you for FINALLY recognizing this is an etiquette board. People come on this board to get advice on what is the correct thing to do etiquette-wise. The ladies on here are trying to help people host their guests properly. I don't understand why you have such an issue with that. I also think you personally need to brush up on your etiquette before you post here again with terrible advice. If people want validation for shitty ideas they will go over to wedding wire where everyone will be like, "Yes, it's YOUR day. You are SO SPECIAL! Don't even think about what your guests might enjoy!" People come to TK for actual etiquette. Please respect that.

GrrArgh

Cidefi - curiosity has me, are you in your late teens - early twenties? 

cidefi

Everything that pops up on this board is a heated debate especially when you don't agree with the majority...lol...and I don't on most things.

Weddings are very personal to me, and I believe that the couple should have the best wedding they can for themselves. Not for their parents, or friends, but for themselves. You are getting married to each other, making that commitment to each other. Yes you want to include your family and friends in the celebration. Yes you want them to come out and party with you and for you. I believe in making guest feel loved, and comfortable, and welcomed, but not at the cost of my feeling uncomfortable, or spending money that I really don't have because its the proper thing to do.

I enjoy reading the Etiquette Board because there is a real PROPER WAY to do things. There is an order, and I do enjoy learning about it. But I take those rules and bend them when nessaccery to fit my situation. Now not every bride does that, and I'm ok with that because its not my wedding. I'm not traditionalist who follows every wedding law to the letter, but I don't knock the bride's who do. We all post here asking questions to clarify, learn, get ideas, and/or to bounce things off each other. I usually don't agree with the traditionalist. I usually make my suggestion and move on. I never tell someone what to do. I never insult their ideas or criticizes them (like some of you do), and I never get into with the OP. I respect their right to not agree with me either. This is a forum. People post and people respond. I've said it 1's and I will always say this...IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT I'M SAYING, SKIP OVER IT. WHEN I POST SOMETHING ITS DIRECTED TO THE OP NOT THE OVERALL GROUP. How you people about me doesn't matter to me. Im just giving the OP another POV. She or he doesn't have to like it, they don't have to agree with, they don't have to do what I'm suggesting...I'm just participating.

Anyhoo OP whatever you decide to do I hope it makes you and FH happy. I'm sure it'll work out. Congrats and blessings to you.

Dreamergirl8812

GrrArgh said:

Cidefi - curiosity has me, are you in your late teens - early twenties? 

Or terrible twos?

Fran1985

cidefi said:

Everything that pops up on this board is a heated debate especially when you don't agree with the majority...lol...and I don't on most things. Weddings are very personal to me, and I believe that the couple should have the best wedding they can for themselves. Not for their parents, or friends, but for themselves. You are getting married to each other, making that commitment to each other. Yes you want to include your family and friends in the celebration. Yes you want them to come out and party with you and for you. I believe in making guest feel loved, and comfortable, and welcomed, but not at the cost of my feeling uncomfortable, or spending money that I really don't have because its the proper thing to do. I enjoy reading the Etiquette Board because there is a real PROPER WAY to do things. There is an order, and I do enjoy learning about it. But I take those rules and bend them when nessaccery to fit my situation. Now not every bride does that, and I'm ok with that because its not my wedding. I'm not traditionalist who follows every wedding law to the letter, but I don't knock the bride's who do. We all post here asking questions to clarify, learn, get ideas, and/or to bounce things off each other. I usually don't agree with the traditionalist. I usually make my suggestion and move on. I never tell someone what to do. I never insult their ideas or criticizes them (like some of you do), and I never get into with the OP. I respect their right to not agree with me either. This is a forum. People post and people respond. I've said it 1's and I will always say this...IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT I'M SAYING, SKIP OVER IT. WHEN I POST SOMETHING ITS DIRECTED TO THE OP NOT THE OVERALL GROUP. How you people about me doesn't matter to me. Im just giving the OP another POV. She or he doesn't have to like it, they don't have to agree with, they don't have to do what I'm suggesting...I'm just participating. Anyhoo OP whatever you decide to do I hope it makes you and FH happy. I'm sure it'll work out. Congrats and blessings to you.

It becomes heated because these aren't debated about the best band ever, they are rules that allow a bride to host a wedding and not look bad. "These hags" will be at your wedding, because the board is made up of many many people from all different parts of the US and world, from all different age groups and professions. It's not like everyone who posts here is from NYC or something, its a very diverse group that all agree on some of the main things you need to do to not be rude. Your viewpoint is extremely rude. You don't throw a party for other people (your guests) and then say that you and your FI are most important. That makes you look so selfish, and like you need to be at the center of attention. If you want the wedding to be about you and your FI, go do a beautiful elopement. My friend and her husband went away to a B&B and had a romantic lovely wedding with just them. If you want other people to be there, then you host them right and it becomes about the guests. I saw this as a fellow non traditionalist- my wedding is going to be at an old girl scout camp.

cidefi

GrrArgh said:

Cidefi - curiosity has me, are you in your late teens - early twenties? 

What difference does that make?? I'm old enough.

aurorajanette

cidefi said:

Everything that pops up on this board is a heated debate especially when you don't agree with the majority...lol...and I don't on most things. Weddings are very personal to me, and I believe that the couple should have the best wedding they can for themselves. Not for their parents, or friends, but for themselves. You are getting married to each other, making that commitment to each other. Yes you want to include your family and friends in the celebration. Yes you want them to come out and party with you and for you. I believe in making guest feel loved, and comfortable, and welcomed, but not at the cost of my feeling uncomfortable, or spending money that I really don't have because its the proper thing to do. I enjoy reading the Etiquette Board because there is a real PROPER WAY to do things. There is an order, and I do enjoy learning about it. But I take those rules and bend them when nessaccery to fit my situation. Now not every bride does that, and I'm ok with that because its not my wedding. I'm not traditionalist who follows every wedding law to the letter, but I don't knock the bride's who do. We all post here asking questions to clarify, learn, get ideas, and/or to bounce things off each other. I usually don't agree with the traditionalist. I usually make my suggestion and move on. I never tell someone what to do. I never insult their ideas or criticizes them (like some of you do), and I never get into with the OP. I respect their right to not agree with me either. This is a forum. People post and people respond. I've said it 1's and I will always say this...IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT I'M SAYING, SKIP OVER IT. WHEN I POST SOMETHING ITS DIRECTED TO THE OP NOT THE OVERALL GROUP. How you people about me doesn't matter to me. Im just giving the OP another POV. She or he doesn't have to like it, they don't have to agree with, they don't have to do what I'm suggesting...I'm just participating. Anyhoo OP whatever you decide to do I hope it makes you and FH happy. I'm sure it'll work out. Congrats and blessings to you.

You can talk until your blue in the face about "bouncing ideas" off of people. That's fine, but not really the intention of the etiquette board. This board is for giving advice about correct etiquette, not opinions. Some people are generally confused when they post on here, and want good, strong ETIQUETTE advice. Your constant posts that state the opposite of what they should do are in poor taste and are confusing to people who are asking about how to properly host their guests. Etiquette is about properly hosting, not doing whatever the hell you and your FI want and not giving a damn about your guests. If that's how you want your wedding to be, fine. But don't spread your poor advice to others who are seriously trying to be good hosts.

GrrArgh

cidefi said:

Cidefi - curiosity has me, are you in your late teens - early twenties? 

What difference does that make?? I'm old enough.

You act like a teenager, if you are a teenager I can give you a slight pass simply due to immaturity. Immaturity and an inability to realize when you are making a fool of yourself most likely because your parents have given you an inflated self image that has no grounding in reality. (You got a lot of participation trophies didn't you...) If you are not a teenager, I'd recommend you stop acting like one. 

MGP

cidefi said:

I believe that the couple should have the best wedding they can for themselves. Not for their parents, or friends, but for themselves.  Then just elope.

I believe in making guest feel loved, and comfortable, and welcomed, but not at the cost of my feeling uncomfortable, or spending money that I really don't have because its the proper thing to do.  Then just elope.

But I take those rules and bend them when nessaccery to fit my situation.  That's rude.

Can't you get that the moment you invite guests to your wedding it doesn't become all about you?

PS - learn to proofread.  Your writing style makes my eyes hurt and my head explode.

MobKaz

@cidefi said, "Oh and I'm loving the pictures. Really they bring so much joy to my heart. Its great to see such perfect people in TK's Etiquette Boards. No one ever miss spelled a word. LoL...I love it!!!"    Misspellled.

If you're talking to me, then YES. Yes I'm going to respond to anything that is addressed to me. If someone quotes me, or puts up some stupid picture, then yes...yes I will take time out of my day to respond. Its the proper thing to do. This is an Etiquette Board, I can't be rude and not respond. Oh my word what would people think?? And yes this will probably go on for a while until I get bored :-D  And yet you tell other posters to skip over your poor advice if we don't agree with it.  Women on the etiquette board, thankfully, are not hipicricks.  

Everything that pops up on this board is a heated debate especially when you don't agree with the majority...lol...and I don't on most things.  The fact that the majority of the women on this board disagree with your poor advice restores my faith in humanity.

Weddings are very personal to me, and I believe that the couple should have the best wedding they can for themselves.  When you invite/include others to your wedding, it is no longer just about yourself.  If you want the best wedding for yourself, simply elope.

 I believe in making guest feel loved, and comfortable, and welcomed, but not at the cost of my feeling uncomfortable, or spending money that I really don't have because its the proper thing to do. I would never be able to feel comfortable at any event, knowing I have treated my guests poorly.  My comfort level increases in direct relation to how well I treated my guests.  No one suggests spending money above your means.  The party line on these boards is to host the wedding you can afford, but host it properly.  

MobKaz

Viczaesar said:

Oooh, I think I figured it out...

hipicrick =


+


Did I get it?  

I was thinking funkadelic crickets........

cidefi

It becomes heated because these aren't debated about the best band ever, they are rules that allow a bride to host a wedding and not look bad. "These hags" will be at your wedding, because the board is made up of many many people from all different parts of the US and world, from all different age groups and professions. It's not like everyone who posts here is from NYC or something, its a very dive p that all agree on some of the main things you need to do to not be rude. Your viewpoint is extremely rude. You don't throw a party for other people (your guests) and then say that you and your FI are most important. That makes you look so selfish, and like you need to be at the center of attention. If you want the wedding to be about you and your FI, go do a beautiful elopement. My friend and her husband went away to a B&B and had a romantic lovely wedding with just them. If you want other people to be there, then you host them right and it becomes about the guests. I saw this as a fellow non traditionalist- my wedding is going to be at an old girl scout camp.

*****************************************************
Well that's where you and I disagree. My wedding is about me...LoL. ITS ALL ABOUT ME AND MY HUSBAND TO BE. That's what a wedding by definition is...LoL...its a ceremony to show the commitment that the 2 of you are making to each other, that's it. A reception is a party. And neither require guest. Well guest aren't mandatory I should say. You invite people to come celebrate your love with you and your intended thats it. The truth is its not about them, it shouldnt be about them, and the wedding is not for them. Your not doing them any favors by inviting them, and their not doing you any favors by showing up. Hell if that's the case, I'll save my money!!! A WEDDING DAY is a day that includes a wedding ceremony and a reception. You include guest out of love. I'm going to say this again...YES YOU WANT YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY TO BE THERE. YES YOU WANT TO MAKE THEM COMFORTABLE, AND HAPPY. YES IN MOST CASES THE COUPLE WANTS TO DO THINGS THE RIGHT WAY, but that isn't always possible. As in this case. This couple can't have a proper wedding and reception. For whatever reasons these people can't do it. I'm simply saying DO WHAT'S GONNA MAKE THEM HAPPY...PERIOD. I think this woman (the OP) knows her friends and family well enough to know if they would be understanding to the situation or not. I do not in anyway think that this woman is trying to be rude or inconsiderate. I do not think shes being a gift grabber or a PPD (whatever that is). In fact I think she's being very kind and loving to want to still include her guest in some kind of way. Now if she wants to put on a white dress, eat some wedding cake, and take some wedding reception pictures in order to have a great memory of what could have been, then by all means BLAST THE MUSIC, POP SOME BOTTLES AND PARTY OREGON STYLE!!! Do what makes you happy. That's it. That's MO from MPOV right or wrong. I'm not here to please you people by agreeing with you say. At the end of the day this couple is gonna do what they do, I just hope their happy.

cidefi

MGP said:

cidefi said:

I believe that the couple should have the best wedding they can for themselves. Not for their parents, or friends, but for themselves.  Then just elope.

I believe in making guest feel loved, and comfortable, and welcomed, but not at the cost of my feeling uncomfortable, or spending money that I really don't have because its the proper thing to do.  Then just elope.

But I take those rules and bend them when nessaccery to fit my situation.  That's rude.

Can't you get that the moment you invite guests to your wedding it doesn't become all about you?

PS - learn to proofread.  Your writing style makes my eyes hurt and my head explode.

Then don't read what I post. Easy...

GrrArgh

A WEDDING DAY is a day that includes a wedding ceremony. and a reception. That's it, that's all a wedding day is. A wedding ceremony and subsequently a reception attended by guests is a privilege, not a requirement.  

GrrArgh

Here this may help and be more your speed. 

cidefi

You can talk until your blue in the face about "bouncing ideas" off of people. That's fine, but not really the intention of the etiquette board. This board is for giving advice about correct etiquette, not opinions. Some people are generally confused when they post on here, and want good, strong ETIQUETTE advice. Your constant posts that state the opposite of what they should do are in poor taste and are confusing to people who are asking about how to properly host their guests. Etiquette is about properly hosting, not doing whatever the hell you and your FI want and not giving a damn about your guests. If that's how you want your wedding to be, fine. But don't spread your poor advice to others who are seriously trying to be good hosts.


I TOTALLY AGREE WITH ALMOST EVEYTHING YOU SAID. You are so so right in that people come here to find out the PROPER way to do things. I agree completely. And there is a proper way to do things. But the proper way is not the only way IMO. I think other elements should be taken into consideration too. And when I respond to things I'm responding based on the other elements. I believe that rules can be bent to fit the situation. Do you make people feel unwanted, unhappy, or be rude to them...NO not at all. But no I'm not being proper, and I probably am giving bad suggestions. But my intention was never to give good advice to begin with. I just don't follow the masses. I'm not trying to ruin anyone's wedding, and I don't think I'm being rude to anyone. But I give my opinion the way that I do to open peoples eyes to the fact that weddings are customizable. No one is gonna die because everything isn't in its prim or proper place. Proper Etiquette is a foundation that is great to know, but its not the law. And it can be tweeked.