FMIL & FSIL HELL!!! Vent

PMeg819

Have you ever considered you all are horrible? Because you truly are. And for the record, my son at 2 had very slow language development. I did talk to his pedi, and guess what, at a recheck when he was 2.5 yrs, he was better. At 3.5 he won't STFU. You of all people should know that language development in children doesn't always progress in a textbook fashion, and comparing one child to another is just stupid. It's big picture.

6fsn

For some dumb reason the speech is kind of making me laugh. The kid is walking down the aisle, not doing a reading.

dharmabunny

Are y'all sure this isn't trollie-poo?

PirateBarbie

soontobemrsbuccheri said:

I really can't get past the fact that you're making assumptions on a child who isn't even 2 yet based on his verbal or non-verbal status. 

I have a degree in child development so I can make assumptions. I am not a doctor and when she's asked questions about it I've told her to ask her doctor. When she continually asks I tell her the same. He just had an appt and when I asked if she discussed what she's been asking me about she said no. I can compare and he certainly is not on par with where he should be.

@DixieNormous - I'm happy you pointed this out, because I was thinking the same thing. 

my (almost) 3yo is completely different than she was month ago, let alone a year ago. She's always been ahead of her (older) classmates in terms of verbal/cognitive skills - but there's so much change in such a short time, I can't believe someone would put down a 2 yo for not being on the same level as a 3yo. 

One of my friends has a 3yo son with apraxia of speech - his verbal skills are minimal, but he understands everything that you say to him. Delays in speech/communication do not necessarily mean that the kid is not mentally functional as others of the same age. 

Maybe the 2yo is slow, or maybe he's just not that into you, and doesn't care to interact with you. 

delujm0

DixieNormous330 said:

I really can't get past the fact that you're making assumptions on a child who isn't even 2 yet based on his verbal or non-verbal status. 

Um...this.  My cousin didn't speak in full sentences until she was 3, and she's now a successful 25 year old CPA working for an international firm.  She was also Salutatorian of her high school class and did exceptionally well in college (where she went on academic scholarship).  She was never "developmentally challenged," she was just introverted. 

 

OP sounds like SHE is the one turning her nephew and her FI's nephew against each other and making this a competition.  Seriously, they don't have to be best friends to both be ring bearers for 30 minutes one day of their lives.  It sounds like the only reason OP hasn't formally invited her FI's nephew to be in the wedding party is to spite her FSIL, and because she's trying to find a way out of doing it all together.  Yes, FSIL shouldn't assume that he is included, but you claim to want him to be included, so i don't understand why this is such an insult to you.

soontobemrsbuccheri

delujm0 said:

DixieNormous330 said:

I really can't get past the fact that you're making assumptions on a child who isn't even 2 yet based on his verbal or non-verbal status. 

Um...this.  My cousin didn't speak in full sentences until she was 3, and she's now a successful 25 year old CPA working for an international firm.  She was also Salutatorian of her high school class and did exceptionally well in college (where she went on academic scholarship).  She was never "developmentally challenged," she was just introverted. 

 

OP sounds like SHE is the one turning her nephew and her FI's nephew against each other and making this a competition.  Seriously, they don't have to be best friends to both be ring bearers for 30 minutes one day of their lives.  It sounds like the only reason OP hasn't formally invited her FI's nephew to be in the wedding party is to spite her FSIL, and because she's trying to find a way out of doing it all together.  Yes, FSIL shouldn't assume that he is included, but you claim to want him to be included, so i don't understand why this is such an insult to you.

We NEVER formally invited FSIL's son to be a ring bearer.  We plan to have BOTH of our nephews as ring bearers in our wedding, but we want the two of them to get to know each other.  We've had them both over numerous times, and have been worried that FSIL's son won't be able to follow directions...this is not just OUR concern it is OTHERS as well.  There are some major milestones (ones that we take for granted) that FSIL's son has not reached and SHE is concerned about them but has REFUSED to discuss it with a doctor.  She has been coming to ME for answers to which I have told her time and time again that she needs to speak with her sons pediatrician.  I am not making this a competition at all, and never said it was.  I absolutely LOVE the fact that people are assuming that this is a competition, when it is not.  

There are some major issues with FSIL and FMIL all together that started WELL before FI and I got engaged.  They (FSIL and FMIL) are making things extremely hard because no matter how we say NO to them, they continue to do whatever they feel like.  We have said that this is OUR day and they can't demand that things go their way.  It won't happen.  To this day, FSIL and FMIL continue to make things hard and yes, I am fully aware that I am marrying into this family, just like FI is marrying into my family.  I have been extremely nice to both of them, both before FI and I got engaged and after.  FSIL is coming for dinner this weekend with her husband and son.  We do family things, even if I don't agree with how things are done by her, I still do things for and with her.  Hell, I'm teaching her how to cook!

PirateBarbie said:

soontobemrsbuccheri said:

I really can't get past the fact that you're making assumptions on a child who isn't even 2 yet based on his verbal or non-verbal status. 

I have a degree in child development so I can make assumptions. I am not a doctor and when she's asked questions about it I've told her to ask her doctor. When she continually asks I tell her the same. He just had an appt and when I asked if she discussed what she's been asking me about she said no. I can compare and he certainly is not on par with where he should be.

@DixieNormous - I'm happy you pointed this out, because I was thinking the same thing. 

my (almost) 3yo is completely different than she was month ago, let alone a year ago. She's always been ahead of her (older) classmates in terms of verbal/cognitive skills - but there's so much change in such a short time, I can't believe someone would put down a 2 yo for not being on the same level as a 3yo. 

One of my friends has a 3yo son with apraxia of speech - his verbal skills are minimal, but he understands everything that you say to him. Delays in speech/communication do not necessarily mean that the kid is not mentally functional as others of the same age. 

Maybe the 2yo is slow, or maybe he's just not that into you, and doesn't care to interact with you. 

This.  The 2 year old is slow and I'm hoping that FSIL will understand that I do not have the ability to tell her what is wrong with her son, no matter how many times she asks me.  She has been told numerous times to contact her sons pediatrician.  He is perfectly into me and interacts well with me.  He comes to me when I see him and we play together just fine.  Nice of you to assume this when I have a 12 year old of my own, a 3 year old nephew and numerous friends with kids that I am constantly babysitting for their parents when they want date night.  I'm a big 32 year old kid when it comes to kids.  I love playing and get just as tired as they do once the night (or day) is over.

VarunaTT

If I CAPITALIZE every OTHER word, MAYBE you'll FINALLY understand WHY I'm RIGHT and YOU'RE wrong.

Grabows14

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delujm0 said:

DixieNormous330 said:

I really can't get past the fact that you're making assumptions on a child who isn't even 2 yet based on his verbal or non-verbal status. 

Um...this.  My cousin didn't speak in full sentences until she was 3, and she's now a successful 25 year old CPA working for an international firm.  She was also Salutatorian of her high school class and did exceptionally well in college (where she went on academic scholarship).  She was never "developmentally challenged," she was just introverted. 

 

OP sounds like SHE is the one turning her nephew and her FI's nephew against each other and making this a competition.  Seriously, they don't have to be best friends to both be ring bearers for 30 minutes one day of their lives.  It sounds like the only reason OP hasn't formally invited her FI's nephew to be in the wedding party is to spite her FSIL, and because she's trying to find a way out of doing it all together.  Yes, FSIL shouldn't assume that he is included, but you claim to want him to be included, so i don't understand why this is such an insult to you.

We NEVER formally invited FSIL's son to be a ring bearer.  We plan to have BOTH of our nephews as ring bearers in our wedding, but we want the two of them to get to know each other.  We've had them both over numerous times, and have been worried that FSIL's son won't be able to follow directions...this is not just OUR concern it is OTHERS as well.  There are some major milestones (ones that we take for granted) that FSIL's son has not reached and SHE is concerned about them but has REFUSED to discuss it with a doctor.  She has been coming to ME for answers to which I have told her time and time again that she needs to speak with her sons pediatrician.  I am not making this a competition at all, and never said it was.  I absolutely LOVE the fact that people are assuming that this is a competition, when it is not.  

There are some major issues with FSIL and FMIL all together that started WELL before FI and I got engaged.  They (FSIL and FMIL) are making things extremely hard because no matter how we say NO to them, they continue to do whatever they feel like.  We have said that this is OUR day and they can't demand that things go their way.  It won't happen.  To this day, FSIL and FMIL continue to make things hard and yes, I am fully aware that I am marrying into this family, just like FI is marrying into my family.  I have been extremely nice to both of them, both before FI and I got engaged and after.  FSIL is coming for dinner this weekend with her husband and son.  We do family things, even if I don't agree with how things are done by her, I still do things for and with her.  Hell, I'm teaching her how to cook!

PirateBarbie said:

soontobemrsbuccheri said:

DixieNormous330 said:

I really can't get past the fact that you're making assumptions on a child who isn't even 2 yet based on his verbal or non-verbal status. 

I have a degree in child development so I can make assumptions. I am not a doctor and when she's asked questions about it I've told her to ask her doctor. When she continually asks I tell her the same. He just had an appt and when I asked if she discussed what she's been asking me about she said no. I can compare and he certainly is not on par with where he should be.

@DixieNormous - I'm happy you pointed this out, because I was thinking the same thing. 

my (almost) 3yo is completely different than she was month ago, let alone a year ago. She's always been ahead of her (older) classmates in terms of verbal/cognitive skills - but there's so much change in such a short time, I can't believe someone would put down a 2 yo for not being on the same level as a 3yo. 

One of my friends has a 3yo son with apraxia of speech - his verbal skills are minimal, but he understands everything that you say to him. Delays in speech/communication do not necessarily mean that the kid is not mentally functional as others of the same age. 

Maybe the 2yo is slow, or maybe he's just not that into you, and doesn't care to interact with you. 

This.  The 2 year old is slow and I'm hoping that FSIL will understand that I do not have the ability to tell her what is wrong with her son, no matter how many times she asks me.  She has been told numerous times to contact her sons pediatrician.  He is perfectly into me and interacts well with me.  He comes to me when I see him and we play together just fine.  Nice of you to assume this when I have a 12 year old of my own, a 3 year old nephew and numerous friends with kids that I am constantly babysitting for their parents when they want date night.  I'm a big 32 year old kid when it comes to kids.  I love playing and get just as tired as they do once the night (or day) is over.







you have had both the kids over multiple times and they still don't know each other? What are you looking for them to do so that you can consider them knowing each other? Why do you care so much? Does your FI hate his mom as much as you do?

soontobemrsbuccheri

you have had both the kids over multiple times and they still don't know each other? What are you looking for them to do so that you can consider them knowing each other? Why do you care so much? Does your FI hate his mom as much as you do?

**We have had them over numerous times because we want them to get to know each other so that they're not afraid of one another the day of.  If we just introduced them the day before they wouldn't be comfortable.  My nephew actually enjoys playing with FI's nephew. 

Yes, my FI has some of the same issues (if not more) with his Mom.  We don't go over to see her much because of FI.  I actually go over to see FMIL with out FI sometimes...but haven't recently due to being sick, etc.  

DixieNormous330

OP has a 12 year old and a degree in child development. But she clearly doesn't remember her 12 year old being a toddler. Anyone here know of a toddler who will "follow directions" without any distraction or deviation?

soontobemrsbuccheri

DixieNormous330 said:

OP has a 12 year old and a degree in child development. But she clearly doesn't remember her 12 year old being a toddler. Anyone here know of a toddler who will "follow directions" without any distraction or deviation?

I do remember his toddler years and while he didn't follow directions 100%, he did do pretty much as he was told.  

VarunaTT

thejucheidea

soontobemrsbuccheri said:

DixieNormous330 said:

OP has a 12 year old and a degree in child development. But she clearly doesn't remember her 12 year old being a toddler. Anyone here know of a toddler who will "follow directions" without any distraction or deviation?

I do remember his toddler years and while he didn't follow directions 100%, he did do pretty much as he was told.  

Because all children have the same personality, so obviously your one child shows the development of every child and every child's personality.