I've been having a miserable time dealing with my sister (who happened to make herself my maid of honor). She has some jealousy issues and she cannot put those aside for her only sibling. She has been with her boyfriend over five years, and when my fiance and I got engaged she freaked out (my fiance and I were together just over two years when we got engaged - my sister is also younger than me). When I came home to share my happy news, she rolled her eyes and said "it really should have been me". I really try my best to ignore her comments or change the subject, but she's either throwing a pity party for herself or she's telling me what to do. Some examples:
- Banning (or at least trying to) me from trying on any dresses with a keyhole back.
- Telling my fiance what he needs to do "to be a part of this family"
- Stating who she believes should and should not come dress shopping
- Telling my fiance and I that we are "forbidden" from getting married in October (ultimately, we chose March - but for other reasons aside from her psycho babble) because that's when she'd like to get married.
- Made herself my Maid of Honor
- Demanding her dress be different from everyone else
- Saying out loud how my ring is nice, but hers will be substantially bigger
- Continuing to say "it should have been me"
And then the big one. My FI and I went to dinner with her and her boyfriend. When the topic of the wedding came up, she went in to her usual telling us what we can and cannot do. Admittedly, I snapped. After listening to her attempt to dictate our wedding and being nasty, I just blurted "It's not your wedding. Just stop". She then proceeded to talk about her getting married and what she will do for her wedding (she's not even engaged). My FI gently reminded her that her time will come. She started to laugh and then went in to the bathroom and started hysterically crying. She stormed out of the restaurant because my fiance and I "were making fun of her". I later find out that she called my father that evening to tell him what a terrible person my fiance is and how "he's always so mean" to her. Needless to say her doing that caused tension between my FI and my father, awkwardness between my dad and myself, and just widening the rift that already exists between my sister and I. While I was very short with her when I said it, it was a statement of fact. No one was making fun of anyone, but she really needs to be told it's not her place to tell my fiance or I what we can and cannot do - ever.
Apparently we just don't understand how she "doesn't have what she wants in life" right now. Overall, she's been very unpleasant. She admits to other people that she's jealous and she feels that she should have been first. I understand that she's hurt, I really do. However, that's no excuse to been a miserable person and try and control someone else's day. Believe me, I have more examples of the crazy...I know it sounds horrible, but part of me feels that if she really can't emotionally be supportive and put her stuff aside - she should drop out of the wedding. Which she won't do, but I digress.
Does anyone have any ideas as to how to handle this? I can't help but snap everytime she starts to dictate what I should or should not do. I try to put myself in her shoes, but even then I can't help but feel she's totally unreasonable. I think in this situation a lot of damage has been done that probably can't be fixed at this point. All I want to do is preserve my sanity. Any ideas? I'm completely at my wits end.