Ordered save the dates, now what?!? Help!

rachelnjimmy

I just received the save the dates for our May 24th wedding, but I'm at a bit of a stand-still. Should I handwrite the envelopes? I have a friend that will do calligraphy for the wedding invitations but I need a plan for the save the dates. Is it okay to use an embosser stamp for my return address?

Also, how do I address them - same formality as the invitations? I plan to do the invitations like this...

Outer envelope - 

Mr. John and Mrs. Jane Smith

123 Main Street

Denver, Colorado 54321

Inner envelope - 

Mr. and Mrs. Smith

I could use some help! Thank you!!!

annathy03

Save the dates should have the same formality title wise as the invite so I'd use your outer envelope wording.

I think the embosser is fine for your return address, and as long as your handwriting is decent handwrite your guests addresses.

CTYankeeBride

I think the embosser is fine for the return address, as long as it doesn't have your married names or married monograms.  Addresses for unmarried couples living together should have the names on separate lines (no "and" connecting the names), and that includes the return address for your correspondence until after the wedding.  If you have neat handwriting, addressing the STD's by hand is perfect.  I suggest using the same formality as you will for your outer envelopes, because it's a great way to have a trial run and set the tone.

As far as your outer envelope invite wording, don't separate a man from his last name is the general rule.  So it should read "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith" or "Mrs. Jane and Mr. John Smith" on the outer envelope.  Crane has a great guide for pretty much any addressing situation that might arise. http://blog.crane.com/2012/02/03/wedding-etiquette-how-to-address-your-envelopes/   Good luck!!

rachelnjimmy

CTYankeeBride - Thank you for the info! I've looked at a bunch of websites but never realized that a man's first name could not be separated from his last name. Very good to know! 

I ordered an embosser with the monogram as both of our first initials since I thought it would be inappropriate to jump the gun using our married name. It's round with the address on the perimeter and the center is "R | J". I was really hoping to use it so I'm glad others agree!

Is printing the addresses a total faux pas? I figured handwriting would be best, but my handwriting isn't anything to brag about so I'm having my mom help. What about printing my mailing address on the reply card envelopes? That has to be acceptable, right?

CTYankeeBride

The embosser sounds perfect- you were smart to skip your married initial (plus you can always order a plate that includes it later on).  A lot of these pieces of wisdom are things I picked up on The Knot forums or by reading reputable sources on etiquette, I'm happy to pass them along!

Traditionally, it's a faux pas to print directly on the envelopes (using a printer) and the addresses should be hand written (or in calligraphy).  For events that are incredibly formal, I wouldn't vary from this, from start to finish including reply card envelopes.  Handwritten addresses keep the invites personal.  I believe the established hierarchy from most to least acceptable is: handwritten/ calligraphy, then printing directly onto the envelopes (many frown upon this as it really does make the invite less personal but it is very slowly becoming more accepted for less formal weddings), then using mailing labels (which just shouldn't be done. Ever. Period.).  

Even the worst handwriting can be improved by going slowly and taking your time.  Also there's no rule that it has to be gorgeous cursive- neatly writing them in your best print is fine. Enlisting help is smart.  

HisGirlFriday13

Actually, printing directly in the envelopes with a printer is fine. It's using a label that most people frown upon.

The inner envelope should be addressed to the couple by name; if the outer envelope says 'Mr. and Mrs. John Smith,' the inner can say just 'John and Jane.'

Jen4948

I don't think save-the-dates need to be of the same formality as the invitations-they're just announcing the date of the wedding to VIPs.  The invitations themselves will announce the formality of the wedding-you might not even know what that would be yet!

You do need to address them correctly, so I agree with HisGirlFriday13 about how to address them.

rachelnjimmy

Thanks everyone!

Another question - when addressing invitations to an unmarried couples living together, who should be listed first? (man first, woman first, alphabetically?)

And does this "rule" change if you don't really know your guest's significant other and want to change how they are listed?