What's a typical invitation acceptance rate? Feeling sad about so many declines :(

wrigleyville

kgd7357 said:

casey8784 said:

kitty8403 said:

This makes me feel better! Out of the monster list I am frantically cutting down, extended family accounts for about a third or more. ALL (both sides) will have to travel. My mother expects a high decline rate from our side, but it's do frustrating trying to plan and budget when you realize that more than 100 extra people may not show up for this reason.

This is basically where I am at right now. We've cut our (huge) list down to exactly the max number for the venue (225). My mom thinks maybe 10 people won't come; FI's parents think maybe 20 won't; FI has the most "negative" thinking...he thinks that maybe 1/2 won't come. Probably 90-ish% of the guests only have a 2-4 hour drive, the rest are flying in from around the country. Less guests = larger dance floor (FI wants "plenty of room to do the hora"); more guests = seeing and celebrating with everyone! Planning for/thinking of all the variables is definitely keeping me on my toes.

I'm with you girls! So worried about this. My parents keep saying that 20% wont come. I'm planning for 5% over the invited list. My overseas relatives have a habit of showing up with extras...But I could be totally wrong. How do you budget!? I guess any savings is just bonus.

You always, always, always budget for 100% of your guest list. If people decline, you can put that money toward other things, like upgrading your bar package or appetizers. Some people use it on their honeymoon. We put ours into our house fund.

kitty8403

Yeah, I am budgeting for 100%. But it means a lot of extra effort that may be wasted, since I have to reserve rentals and plan meals, accommodations and activities for literally as many as 80-100 people who may not show. It's money that we could have put toward nicer everything, but I guess that's just how it works when you have huge, scattered families. It is exasperating, though. Meanwhile, everybody else is all like, "oh, so and so is totally not going to come, so you should add X, P, Q, & Y to your guest list!"

kitty8403

kgd7357 said:

casey8784 said:

kitty8403 said:

This makes me feel better!
Out of the monster list I am frantically cutting down, extended family accounts for about a third or more. ALL (both sides) will have to travel. My mother expects a high decline rate from our side, but it's do frustrating trying to plan and budget when you realize that more than 100 extra people may not show up for this reason.

This is basically where I am at right now. We've cut our (huge) list down to exactly the max number for the venue (225). My mom thinks maybe 10 people won't come; FI's parents think maybe 20 won't; FI has the most "negative" thinking...he thinks that maybe 1/2 won't come. Probably 90-ish% of the guests only have a 2-4 hour drive, the rest are flying in from around the country. Less guests = larger dance floor (FI wants "plenty of room to do the hora"); more guests = seeing and celebrating with everyone! Planning for/thinking of all the variables is definitely keeping me on my toes.

I'm with you girls! So worried about this. My parents keep saying that 20% wont come. I'm planning for 5% over the invited list. My overseas relatives have a habit of showing up with extras...But I could be totally wrong. How do you budget!? I guess any savings is just bonus.



LOL! Yeah we have a bunch of singles who I expect will show with dates that somebody forgot to warn us about. I have kind of a running tally of folks who might bring uninvited plus ones or forget to check in on time.

SP29

kitty8403 said:

Yeah, I am budgeting for 100%. But it means a lot of extra effort that may be wasted, since I have to reserve rentals and plan meals, accommodations and activities for literally as many as 80-100 people who may not show. It's money that we could have put toward nicer everything, but I guess that's just how it works when you have huge, scattered families. It is exasperating, though. Meanwhile, everybody else is all like, "oh, so and so is totally not going to come, so you should add X, P, Q, & Y to your guest list!"

There is always a minimum, but numbers are usually due to vendors ~14 days prior, so you should already have all your responses by then so you should know if you need to pay for 60, 80 or 100 guests. 

As for people showing unexpectedly- then they won't have a place to sit or food to eat! I'm kind of harsh on this aspect, as I think a) not responding and then showing up or b)showing up with extra guests is super rude and inconsiderate and I would not feel bad about not being able to accommodate them the day of. 

It can be frustrating though... especially when you leave out acquaintances that would have been nice to invite, but you didn't because you didn't have the room/budget and chose family over those "extended-friends", then a bunch of those family members respond they aren't coming. 

We have had this happen. Pretty limited budget, so smaller guest list, and a bunch of FI's family now isn't coming. Saves us money, as we still meet our minimum, and easier to arrange tables for seating, but a bit annoying when there were others we took off the list in order to invite these family members and now hardly any of FI's family will be there (and I have a bunch of family coming). 

kitty8403

SP29 said:

kitty8403 said:

Yeah, I am budgeting for 100%. But it means a lot of extra effort that may be wasted, since I have to reserve rentals and plan meals, accommodations and activities for literally as many as 80-100 people who may not show. It's money that we could have put toward nicer everything, but I guess that's just how it works when you have huge, scattered families. It is exasperating, though. Meanwhile, everybody else is all like, "oh, so and so is totally not going to come, so you should add X, P, Q, & Y to your guest list!"

There is always a minimum, but numbers are usually due to vendors ~14 days prior, so you should already have all your responses by then so you should know if you need to pay for 60, 80 or 100 guests. 

As for people showing unexpectedly- then they won't have a place to sit or food to eat! I'm kind of harsh on this aspect, as I think a) not responding and then showing up or b)showing up with extra guests is super rude and inconsiderate and I would not feel bad about not being able to accommodate them the day of. 

It can be frustrating though... especially when you leave out acquaintances that would have been nice to invite, but you didn't because you didn't have the room/budget and chose family over those "extended-friends", then a bunch of those family members respond they aren't coming. 

We have had this happen. Pretty limited budget, so smaller guest list, and a bunch of FI's family now isn't coming. Saves us money, as we still meet our minimum, and easier to arrange tables for seating, but a bit annoying when there were others we took off the list in order to invite these family members and now hardly any of FI's family will be there (and I have a bunch of family coming). 

It's a bit different for us--we don't have a minimum, but our venue has limited seating/tables on site. There's nothing wrong with inviting more than that number, but it means putting down deposits on potties, tables, seating, tents, etc that we may find out are not needed at the last minute!

cordsniper

We live 6 hours from each family.  We invited 125 and had 7 declines, we expected more declines but were happy to have everyone attend.  Traveling is difficult for people, though.