Future (crazy) mother in-law being difficult

HisGirlFriday13

crltx said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

Holy shitballs! I cannot believe you are treating your FMIL like this. You are very much in the wrong. You cannot dictate to her what to wear.Let her wear what she wants. Honestly, after the way you've treated her, I wouldn't be surprised if she showed up in a white dress. 

How exactly are her tattoos a reflection on you? Your grandparents will be mad at you because your MIL has tattoos? That makes no sense and I think you're just looking for excuses. 

My mother and my FMIL are both 63. And they both look about 10 years younger than that. If they both want to wear short strapless gowns, I say go for it! Who the fuck cares? You need to get a grip and stop worrying about things that don't matter. 

IMO, you need to repair your relationship with your FMIL. She will always be his mother, no matter what. Apologize to her for the way you've treated her so far and start acting like a fucking adult! 

I never said her tattoos were a reflection of me. I said SHE said the RD was a reflection of her. And I have done everything for that woman. I have gone to the moon and back for her. She refuses to except me because she doesn't want anyone with her son. His dad has talked to her, his grandma, his sister and him. She wont listen and continues to be mean. So go holy shit balls yourself...you know nothing about the situation. Unless you are here having the lady be rude to you constantly don't say shit to me

I've followed this thread from when you first posted, and I was going to stay away from the crazy-ass mess, but you just.keep.coming.back.

Look, you're both at fault, you especially. You're being rude, petty, childish, condescending, and mean. Get over yourself, get over the drama, be the bigger person, and just let.it.go. Seriously. 

You'll do much better if you kill her with kindness. You really will. If she shows up looking like, in your oh-so-klassy words, "a $2 hooker," that's on her, not on you. If the RD sucks, that's on her, not on you. 

So stop with the name-calling, stop with the micro-managing, stop with the crazypants bridezilla behaviour, and just grow the eff up.

manateehugger

crltx said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

Holy shitballs! I cannot believe you are treating your FMIL like this. You are very much in the wrong. You cannot dictate to her what to wear.Let her wear what she wants. Honestly, after the way you've treated her, I wouldn't be surprised if she showed up in a white dress. 

How exactly are her tattoos a reflection on you? Your grandparents will be mad at you because your MIL has tattoos? That makes no sense and I think you're just looking for excuses. 

My mother and my FMIL are both 63. And they both look about 10 years younger than that. If they both want to wear short strapless gowns, I say go for it! Who the fuck cares? You need to get a grip and stop worrying about things that don't matter. 

IMO, you need to repair your relationship with your FMIL. She will always be his mother, no matter what. Apologize to her for the way you've treated her so far and start acting like a fucking adult! 

I never said her tattoos were a reflection of me. I said SHE said the RD was a reflection of her. And I have done everything for that woman. I have gone to the moon and back for her. She refuses to except me because she doesn't want anyone with her son. His dad has talked to her, his grandma, his sister and him. She wont listen and continues to be mean. So go holy shit balls yourself...you know nothing about the situation. Unless you are here having the lady be rude to you constantly don't say shit to me

Oh good Lord. She sounds like a peach - but so do you! No wonder you two don't get along. 

Here's what you do from now on: you ignore her when you can, you kill her with kindness, when she goes to far you say, "I'm sorry, but I wont stand for that kind of talk, excuse me," and you walk away. Be the bigger one here, because honestly, right now you're giving her all sorts of ammunition. 

Let the drama go! This whole thing is ridiculous. She can wear what she wants. She doesn't have to pay for anything; if you don't want her RD, host your own. That simple. You're a big kid now - make big kid choices. 

Also - it's ACCEPT not except. And you can't get upset when YOU posted on a board with a story about your life and then complain because other people "know nothing about the situation." No shit, Sherlock. We only know what you post. And what you post makes it sound like you are feeding into this drama. 

And - just get over yourself for a minute. Your wedding will be a day. Your FMIL will be there for life. Think big picture here. 

ROBINRENE5

HisGirlFriday13 said:

crltx said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

Holy shitballs! I cannot believe you are treating your FMIL like this. You are very much in the wrong. You cannot dictate to her what to wear.Let her wear what she wants. Honestly, after the way you've treated her, I wouldn't be surprised if she showed up in a white dress. 

How exactly are her tattoos a reflection on you? Your grandparents will be mad at you because your MIL has tattoos? That makes no sense and I think you're just looking for excuses. 

My mother and my FMIL are both 63. And they both look about 10 years younger than that. If they both want to wear short strapless gowns, I say go for it! Who the fuck cares? You need to get a grip and stop worrying about things that don't matter. 

IMO, you need to repair your relationship with your FMIL. She will always be his mother, no matter what. Apologize to her for the way you've treated her so far and start acting like a fucking adult! 

I never said her tattoos were a reflection of me. I said SHE said the RD was a reflection of her. And I have done everything for that woman. I have gone to the moon and back for her. She refuses to except me because she doesn't want anyone with her son. His dad has talked to her, his grandma, his sister and him. She wont listen and continues to be mean. So go holy shit balls yourself...you know nothing about the situation. Unless you are here having the lady be rude to you constantly don't say shit to me

I've followed this thread from when you first posted, and I was going to stay away from the crazy-ass mess, but you just.keep.coming.back.

Look, you're both at fault, you especially. You're being rude, petty, childish, condescending, and mean. Get over yourself, get over the drama, be the bigger person, and just let.it.go. Seriously. 

You'll do much better if you kill her with kindness. You really will. If she shows up looking like, in your oh-so-klassy words, "a $2 hooker," that's on her, not on you. If the RD sucks, that's on her, not on you. 

So stop with the name-calling, stop with the micro-managing, stop with the crazypants bridezilla behaviour, and just grow the eff up.

This... all of this. 

You need to be the bigger person and focus on your relationship with your FI instead of bickering and arguing with his mother and causing drama.  If you don't like what she is wearing, fine... but it's not appropriate to bring it up to FI or FMIL.  Just let her be.   Starting off a marriage with animosity and drama isn't the way to want to start a life with your new family - they will be in your life forever, so find a way to fix this mess and turn your attitude around before you've created bigger problems for everyone involved. 

ktjanesmom

I say let her do what she wants.  She will be the one getting the "side eyes"  not you. 

Cokezerofreak

I didn't meet my fiance's family until the weekend we were engaged.  When I got home from the trip my mom asked me how I got along with my future MIL and I said good after she got over the shock (fiance only said he was bringing home a friend).  My mom said "Great, because she'll be in your life for the rest of her life." 

I've made it a point to love his family as much as I love mine and treat them in the same manner as I do them. Sure, you might not agree with some things they do, but they are now your family. You need to be the bigger person and try to fix this relationship as soon as you can.  It's not fair to your fiance.

climbingsingle

Yeah. Good luck!